HI, installed, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time.  To quote your signiture



Why not try something different?  Or are you happy just to be a winner as per your tagline



Why not be a winner who keeps winning... or rather letting Hashem in and stayng sober one day at a time???

I hope I am not offending you.  I'm just trying to prod you a bit.

What can you do that you havent tried yet?  What are you afraid to do, but know that you should?

I wish you bracha and hatzlacha, definitely keep on truckin!

KOT

Hey Yehoshua & Chaim Yacov, thanks for replying. You are 100% right it is just that I'm full of pride. It would be extremely difficult to face other people and remove my costume. I think that people go there when they are cornered and are really messing up with life. This thing bothers me but I'm not married and I can't really say that I'm at rock bottom. It is not an excuse but that is the logical answer. I guess I don't have the courage... yet.




You are not. I know what I should be doing but as I wrote, I don't feel up to it. It took me forever to feel comfotable to call and I only did it after I felt desperate. I'm not happy with where I am right now but I'm still not ready. I thought I was. I was in touch with someone that gave me a phone number and a place but I chickened out.

I think we are all like this. I feel like I am slim and strong up until my wife says: "Boy you gained some weight!!!"  ;D So then another person at work said, that I should lose weight and then my wife payed one month of fitness for my birthday. I like to be in shape, but still, do I need to hear this!???

So now I am reading on bodybuilding and going to the fitness. Pretty girls and big guys are there and I am thinking, what are they thinking, are they looking at me and making fun of me!? Maybe they are thinking I look funny in my short pants, and my big belly and small arms. Ok, you got the picture...

But you know what, people are not that different. They too are thinking, if perhaps they are not looking funny too and they are wondering what  I might be thinking about them!

Anyway, I am going to that fitness and I do my workout and then go home. Well I feel much better about myself.

I think it even makes me work harder because of those people there, but in any case, they to do have great machines and lots of room. So I must say, it was hard to overcome that feeling, and I do have to overcome it every time, but it is working.

Sorry, I know bodybuilding is not addiction, and I didn't even go to a SA meeting - but I thought maybe this story could help you and me.  ;D

All the best to You intalled.

isnt there any timings where its men only?
(by the way, body building, doesnt make you loose weight, you might benefit more from aerobics"