yeshtikvah85 wrote on 25 Sep 2024 01:54:

Yasher koach to you on posting instead of hiding away in the comfortable black.

An accountability partner/mentor is tremendously helpful. Not someone you just check in with like marking a box. Someone who you can get to know, schmooze with, and feel actually accountable to. An accountability relationship instead of an accountability partner. 

A tremendous gamechanger for me was 1) getting that accountability relationship and 2) also having that person get notifications from my filter. 

Keneh lecha chaver and keep on trucking!

(Psst. It could that joining the Vaad project would be a nice easy way to find an accountability partner  .  ).

chosemyshem wrote on 25 Sep 2024 13:30:

Thank you for the encouragement! I got an update that i'll post now as well.
I'll check out the vaad project to see what it is.

Hey guys,
hope YT were nice by everyone.
In regards to my situation here is my periodical update:
1) I kept on falling recently quite often, and keeping at most 5 days clean or so and then falling again.
2) starting to have a more real conversation with a fellow GYE member that reached out to me in the beginning. We are conversing via email and hope to make some sort of partnership from it.
3) After falling recently as stated above, and my wife finding out shortly thereafter (these days she has her ways to get it out of me and I just dont/cant lie) and obviously getting bothered by it, I decided to do something more extreme which is either dumb or smart I created a Google Sheet (with the help of Google Gemini AI that gave me instructions on how to set it up easily with more automations and less manual work) which has the dates for 90 days starting yesterday and a box to answer each day if I stayed clean or not, and I shared it with my wife which could view it and comment on it too.I feel that this might be an important step to help me short term and to build trust with my wife though it remains to be seen how i'll reach 90 without the pacifier... I guess I did 35 before, but the thought of giving it up for so long. I guess ODAAT helps in a way...

How's it coming along R' YeshTikva?

Thanks for checking and sorry for the late reply

Pretty bad...

Went back to my old habits...

And the worst part is that when my wife asks me, I lie... even though I dislike doing that... just because I feel like there is no point in admitting as I've done before.. she doesn't really get it.. gets all upset etc. So at least I'll save her from that anguish and anger and try to deal with it myself...

The good part is that I have a chaver from here that I'm in touch with on an infrequent basis via email, and that encouraged me to revisit GYE and try to work on it which is what I'm doing right now. I'm also looking on the partner/mentor program to find someone, and I updated my plan on the platform.

In the past I thought that sometimes the material here causes me the exact opposite of what its meant to do and it triggers me, so I stayed away from GYE for a while (also because I was lazy...). Now im thinking that even if thats the case, its still worth it as an amazing resource that has been helpful before and could possibly save me, this time for longer IYH.

As always, I'm slightly optimistic. Bez"H

As the famous song goes עוד יותר טוב ועוד יותר טוב

yeshtikvah85 wrote on 13 Feb 2025 07:22:

Sorry to hear, although it is great to have you back!

Here are some, and there's many more, of the great people here that you can connect with.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim - minhamayim1@gmail.com amev

There's also the Vaad Program (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is), which can also be very helpful.

KOMT!