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A long overdue update
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TOPIC: A long overdue update 135 Views

A long overdue update 28 May 2024 13:52 #414228

  • lionfree
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I’ve been feeling conflicted lately with my recovery journey. On one hand, I know I should be putting in the work, but on the other hand, I don’t want to think about quitting all the time. It feels overwhelming to do all the exercises and constantly remind myself that I have a problem. It makes me feel like I’ve become a degenerate, and that’s not how I want to view myself.

One of my fears is that constantly thinking about quitting will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it impossible for me to ever quit. I wonder, do recovering alcoholics think about their recovery every day? How do they balance working on recovery with enjoying their lives?

I watched a YouTube video on porn recovery yesterday. The speaker mentioned that everyone has an excuse preventing them from recovering, and if they can overcome that excuse, they’ll eventually recover completely. My excuse is living in a secular world where everyone seems to be having sex, making me feel like I’m missing out. However, I also feel that human interaction, even premarital sex, is better than porn because it dehumanizes the person less.

One of my best friends from college, who is Catholic, has a similar goal of quitting porn. He gives great advice, though much of it is religious and focused on Jesus. He recently shared a 21-day challenge called Strive, which has a non-Catholic edition. We also use Covenant Eyes to track each other’s progress; he’s much further along in his journey than I am.

Is it okay to have a non-Jewish recovery partner if our goals are the same? How do you balance recovery with living your life?





here is the YouTube video I’m talking about

Last Edit: 28 May 2024 13:54 by lionfree.

Re: A long overdue update 28 May 2024 14:11 #414231

  • chosemyshem
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Thanks for the update! We missed you

Really great questions.

I've been wondering about obsessing about recovery too. The conclusion I've come to is that if I'm not obsessively involved in recovery then I'm obsessively involved in porn, and I'd much rather be involved in recovery.

As Ilovehashem247 recently said, "it's change or die, and I don't want to die. Hope that makes sense."
Last Edit: 28 May 2024 15:17 by chosemyshem. Reason: missed a word. Interesting freudian slip

Re: A long overdue update 28 May 2024 17:08 #414244

  • notezy
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lionfree wrote on 28 May 2024 13:52:

I’ve been feeling conflicted lately with my recovery journey. On one hand, I know I should be putting in the work, but on the other hand, I don’t want to think about quitting all the time. It feels overwhelming to do all the exercises and constantly remind myself that I have a problem. It makes me feel like I’ve become a degenerate, and that’s not how I want to view myself.

One of my fears is that constantly thinking about quitting will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it impossible for me to ever quit. I wonder, do recovering alcoholics think about their recovery every day? How do they balance working on recovery with enjoying their lives?

I watched a YouTube video on porn recovery yesterday. The speaker mentioned that everyone has an excuse preventing them from recovering, and if they can overcome that excuse, they’ll eventually recover completely. My excuse is living in a secular world where everyone seems to be having sex, making me feel like I’m missing out. However, I also feel that human interaction, even premarital sex, is better than porn because it dehumanizes the person less.

One of my best friends from college, who is Catholic, has a similar goal of quitting porn. He gives great advice, though much of it is religious and focused on Jesus. He recently shared a 21-day challenge called Strive, which has a non-Catholic edition. We also use Covenant Eyes to track each other’s progress; he’s much further along in his journey than I am.

Is it okay to have a non-Jewish recovery partner if our goals are the same? How do you balance recovery with living your life?





here is the YouTube video I’m talking about




I appreciate the honesty.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. 

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson

Re: A long overdue update 28 May 2024 18:18 #414250

  • lionfree
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it's change or die, and I don't want to die. Hope that makes sense."

What does that mean? 

Re: A long overdue update 28 May 2024 18:32 #414252

  • chosemyshem
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lionfree wrote on 28 May 2024 18:18:
it's change or die, and I don't want to die. Hope that makes sense."

What does that mean? 

Quote from this epic post.

Re: A long overdue update 28 May 2024 19:24 #414256

  • notezy
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chosemyshem wrote on 28 May 2024 14:11:
Thanks for the update! We missed you

Really great questions.

I've been wondering about obsessing about recovery too. The conclusion I've come to is that if I'm not obsessively involved in recovery then I'm obsessively involved in porn, and I'd much rather be involved in recovery.

As Ilovehashem247 recently said, "it's change or die, and I don't want to die. Hope that makes sense."

I didn't know diying was an option.
"Excuses are the tools of incompetence" -My Friends Friend. 

"Change will lead to insight far more often than insight will lead to change" -Milton H. Erickson
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