If you don't mind me asking, have you considered filtering her device? I think the work has to be done internally, but having tech loopholes is a big issue. It's like an alcoholic having whiskey in the fridge. At least it's harder if he has to go all the way out of the house to the liquor store.
I have a filter on my computer, locked out of admin account and it cannot be reset. The filter detects explicit content and notifies my accountability partner, which works really well for me. My flip phone does not have a camera or video player at all, so I can't watch anything on it, even if I tried. This way, I have no way to consume, unless I totally factory reset my device, in which case my accountability partners would find out, I'd have to reinstall a ton of software, etc. or the other way is buying a new device from a store and then throwing it away, but both of which are very high friction.
BH I'm writing this 3 weeks in and doing well. The progress is also due to a lot of inner work I've been doing, but still, if I had unfiltered devices around, I'd prob fall very quickly. Unfiltered devices are like being in yichud with a woman (or, unlimited beautiful women)
there's a reason why the halacha forbids this (we aren't likely able to handle ourselves)
You're normal, you just have to plan ahead. who is wise? He who sees the future (I believe this is brought down in pirkei avos)
