Just picked up a big win. Proud of myself. 

The Counts
Clean Days: 0
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1400 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Ki Savo): 3
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 33

Here's to another day clean.

The Counts
Clean Days: 1
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1401 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Ki Savo): 3
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 33

Wishing everyone a good Shabbos.

The Counts
Clean Days: 2
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1402 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Ki Savo): 5
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 35

Good morning, all. Checking in. Trying to break free from the cycle of a couple of days and a fall, a couple of days and a fall. Five days is the longest I've gone for a couple of weeks, so hopefully that's the direction I'm headed.

The Counts
Clean Days: 5
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1405 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Nitzovim-Vayelech): 1
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 37

Amazing! keep going tzaddik, Hashem loves you 

I had a fall last night. Yesterday, I had two wins. Two times where I reached out and said 'I want to live a life of kedushah'. This morning, I wanted to fall again. I took out my wife's unfiltered device, turned it on, but then said, "no." Not going there. I don't want that to be my day.

The Counts
Clean Days: 0
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1405 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Nitzovim-Vayelech): 4
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 40

Wow impressive stuff! 

Keep reaching out to the pros here. They will do you a lot of good! 

If you don't mind me asking, have you considered filtering her device? I think the work has to be done internally, but having tech loopholes is a big issue. It's like an alcoholic having whiskey in the fridge. At least it's harder if he has to go all the way out of the house to the liquor store. 

I have a filter on my computer, locked out of admin account and it cannot be reset. The filter detects explicit content and notifies my accountability partner, which works really well for me. My flip phone does not have a camera or video player at all, so I can't watch anything on it, even if I tried. This way, I have no way to consume, unless I totally factory reset my device, in which case my accountability partners would find out, I'd have to reinstall a ton of software, etc. or the other way is buying a new device from a store and then throwing it away, but both of which are very high friction.

BH I'm writing this 3 weeks in and doing well. The progress is also due to a lot of inner work I've been doing, but still, if I had unfiltered devices around, I'd prob fall very quickly. Unfiltered devices are like being in yichud with a woman (or, unlimited beautiful women) 

there's a reason why the halacha forbids this (we aren't likely able to handle ourselves)

You're normal, you just have to plan ahead. who is wise? He who sees the future (I believe this is brought down in pirkei avos) 

@jmyers99, I appreciate the feedback.

The Counts
Clean Days: 5
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1413 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Yom Kippur): 3
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 44

The Counts
Clean Days: 6
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1414 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Yom Kippur): 3
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 44

The Counts
Clean Days: 7
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1415 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Yom Kippur): 6
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 47

Shalom Brother,

It's been a while since your last post. How are you doing?

Kol Tov

Hello, GYE Chevra.

I would like to resume regular posts on this forum. I am struggling. I have had some successes in the last months since posting here, but I have also found myself in many a rut.

Shout out to @chosemyshem. We are regularly in touch by text and a rare phone call.

Short post today. Wishing everyone great b'rochoh v'hatzlochoh.

Hello, all.

My primary struggle is browsing time-wasting websites. Not that I am immune to urges, but after a few days since my last fall, I typically don't think about looking at P and doing M. Usually what happens is that I find myself on time-wasting websites and then after my defenses are down, I see one thing that leads to another that leads to another...

With Hashem's help, today, I hope to limit my computer use to intentional use only.

Great day to all.

Day Count: 1 Day
Cumulative Count: 1633 Days

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 06 May 2025 13:11:

Welcome back!

Please forgive me for asking a silly question. And please forgive me for asking it punkt here, despite having seen the same concept elsewhere on the forum. 

L'choirah, m'mah nafshach...oiff vee viet you are machshiv "cumulative count", than what is the chashivus of "day count"? And if there is "fort" a chiluk, than why mention it b'chlal? I would probably have over 7,000 cumulative days since I have engaged in this struggle, but l'mai nafka minah? It doesn't help me (stress on me, I acknowledge there may be another way of lookin' at this) because for the freaking majority of those thousands of days, I was a zombie addict with no real end in sight, whether I fell or not, or how often. 

Now, regarding "day count", it's also pretty murky. Yes, it is nice to see higher streaks, but it can quickly lead to burnout if a guy is restarting every 3-7 days or whatever. On the other hand, "day count" can be a useful way of tracking inner progress, by showing us how we are implementing tools and inner change over longer periods of time. 

End of Moldy Voldy's unsolicited and unhelpful ranting.

If cumulative count or any other type of count is somehow a motivator for you, please ignore me, I'm just an anonymous schmuck off the internet.