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No Despair Allowed
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TOPIC: No Despair Allowed 3488 Views

Re: No Despair Allowed 20 Aug 2024 12:25 #419473

Lying in bed last night, I wanted to M. Then, I said to myself, "what else could I do?" Went downstairs, got my headphones, and listened to music and a podcast. It's easier to say 'no' to M and then 'yes' to something else than just 'no'.

Day #14

(And a reminder to myself, LONGEST STREAK: 233 Days, CUMULATIVE CLEAN DAYS: 1379 Days)

Re: No Despair Allowed 20 Aug 2024 14:10 #419482

  • jmyers99
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How's it going ? 

Re: No Despair Allowed 20 Aug 2024 14:10 #419483

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How's it going ?

Re: No Despair Allowed 25 Aug 2024 14:48 #420057

Thanks to Hashem for filters.

Day #19

Re: No Despair Allowed 26 Aug 2024 13:10 #420105

I wish you all a good week. 

Day #20

Re: No Despair Allowed 02 Sep 2024 13:57 #420604

Good morning, everyone.

I continue to struggle to stay clean from P and/or M. Sometimes I fall because I have a biological urge, sometimes I am triggered by something I see, sometimes I just fall because at this point it has become נעשית לו כהיתר (it is just part of what I do). I don't want that anymore. I haven't wanted that anymore for a long time (17 years). I have never made peace with the situation and I have never despaired. I hope you reading this won't despair either.

I want to try something that I think will motivate me. I want to have a "yes" count. How many times during the day did I say "yes" to living a life of אמונה, קדושה, ונקיות (exclusively to the P and M struggle). Any time that I stop myself from entering into a triggering environment and כל שכן when I stop myself from P or M, that is a "yes" to living a faithful, holy, and clean life. I guess this is kind of the thrust of the Battle of the Generation book that many of us are familiar with.

I have written before about how the negative action -- avoiding a behavior -- is more challenging than a positive action. I hope that this change in perspective will help me.

The Counts
Clean Days: 1 day
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1390 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 5 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 5 yeses

Re: No Despair Allowed 02 Sep 2024 14:04 #420606

  • BenHashemBH
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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 02 Sep 2024 13:57:
Good morning, everyone.

I continue to struggle to stay clean from P and/or M. Sometimes I fall because I have a biological urge, sometimes I am triggered by something I see, sometimes I just fall because at this point it has become נעשית לו כהיתר (it is just part of what I do). I don't want that anymore. I haven't wanted that anymore for a long time (17 years). I have never made peace with the situation and I have never despaired. I hope you reading this won't despair either.

I want to try something that I think will motivate me. I want to have a "yes" count. How many times during the day did I say "yes" to living a life of אמונה, קדושה, ונקיות (exclusively to the P and M struggle). Any time that I stop myself from entering into a triggering environment and כל שכן when I stop myself from P or M, that is a "yes" to living a faithful, holy, and clean life. I guess this is kind of the thrust of the Battle of the Generation book that many of us are familiar with.

I have written before about how the negative action -- avoiding a behavior -- is more challenging than a positive action. I hope that this change in perspective will help me.

The Counts
Clean Days: 1 day
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1390 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 5 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 5 yeses

Shalom Brother,
I love the idea.
Those 'yes' moments are very precious.
If it feels right, perhaps follow up your 'yes' with a brief tefilla for anything and see how that makes you feel?  
Hatzlacha
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
Last Edit: 02 Sep 2024 14:05 by BenHashemBH.

Re: No Despair Allowed 02 Sep 2024 14:36 #420612

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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 02 Sep 2024 13:57:
Good morning, everyone.

I continue to struggle to stay clean from P and/or M. Sometimes I fall because I have a biological urge, sometimes I am triggered by something I see, sometimes I just fall because at this point it has become נעשית לו כהיתר (it is just part of what I do). I don't want that anymore. I haven't wanted that anymore for a long time (17 years). I have never made peace with the situation and I have never despaired. I hope you reading this won't despair either.

I want to try something that I think will motivate me. I want to have a "yes" count. How many times during the day did I say "yes" to living a life of אמונה, קדושה, ונקיות (exclusively to the P and M struggle). Any time that I stop myself from entering into a triggering environment and כל שכן when I stop myself from P or M, that is a "yes" to living a faithful, holy, and clean life. I guess this is kind of the thrust of the Battle of the Generation book that many of us are familiar with.

I have written before about how the negative action -- avoiding a behavior -- is more challenging than a positive action. I hope that this change in perspective will help me.

The Counts
Clean Days: 1 day
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1390 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 5 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 5 yeses

Fantastic idea! Dealing with this struggle in a positive way.. kol hakavod!
A practical tip: a Talicounter might come to good use for this type of Count!

Keep it up.. youre amazing!
My favourite resources:
1. "Zos Brisi". A Likut of fantastic Mareh Mekomos and Chizukim. hebrewbooks.org/56572
Message me privately if you'd like me to send you a sharp PDF version of it.
2. "Sha'arei Gedula". An inspiring & 'down to earth' Sefer. hebrewbooks.org/48344
3. "The Battle of the Generation". guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

Every stage in life comes with new challenges, see my threads: Emunah struggles, Celebrating a fall, I'm fed up(my main thread), I'm drowning, Tips for Shmiras Einayim. 

Re: No Despair Allowed 03 Sep 2024 12:45 #420734

Good morning. I ended the day yesterday with six yeses. Six times where I stuck to my principles and chose morality and eternal life over a few fleeting moments of eye candy and sensory pleasure. The first five were not avoiding triggers and the sixth was actually saying 'no' to an urge to look at P. Already got a "yes" today when I stopped myself from using my work computer for a non-work purpose, which can eventually lead to triggers or worse.

The Counts
Clean Days: 2 day
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1391 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 12 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 12 yeses

Re: No Despair Allowed 04 Sep 2024 12:38 #420777

Good morning. I had another "yes" yesterday and also had a fall last night. I plan to text a GYE connection or two at night for extra accountability.

The Counts
Clean Days: 0 days
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1391 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 13 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 13 yeses

Re: No Despair Allowed 04 Sep 2024 12:51 #420778

  • levaryeh
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Wow love how you stay motivated despite the fall, a real gibbor! 

Re: No Despair Allowed 05 Sep 2024 13:37 #420829

The Counts
Clean Days: 1 day
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1392 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Shoftim): 17 yeses
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 17 yeses

Re: No Despair Allowed 09 Sep 2024 13:52 #421060

Good morning. I struggled last week, but I also said "yes" to life 22 times. Far more times than I fell.

I'm looking forward to a productive and clean week. Please help me Hashem and please help us all.

The Counts
Clean Days: 2 days
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1395 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Ki Seitzei): 2
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 24

Re: No Despair Allowed 16 Sep 2024 14:22 #421602

Good morning, all. 

I struggled last week. Sometimes Shabbos can be a reset and sometimes it can feel like a reset until Motzei Shabbos comes and you're back where you were before. This week, Shabbos was a reset for me. I hope to use the inspiration from Shabbos and from Elul to have a clean week. Prayers for all of us.

The Counts
Clean Days: 2 days
Cumulative Clean Days (Since Jan 2020): 1400 days
"Yes" Count (Week of Ki Savo): 2
Cumulative "Yes" Count (Started Sept 2024): 32

Re: No Despair Allowed 17 Sep 2024 11:23 #421677

  • Hashem Help Me
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שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 16 Sep 2024 14:22:
 I hope to use the inspiration from Shabbos and from Elul to have a clean week. 


Sheva, you are the inspiration!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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