Agreed to the implication that blaming one’s problems on external situations isn’t the way to go. 

But, I have a slightly more compassionate view.
We have learned that much of the internal problem is often a living problem, and not inherently a lust problem, necessarily.

Therefore, in the context of your last few posts (on this and other threads), I think that changing jobs can be part of finding motivation and leaning into the posture of active living. Being in a dead-end situation that zaps energy and makes a person want to do nothing but procrastinate and escape simply ain’t good.

Positive change is positive change. Mustering the energy and courage to try to do it comes from some of the same places that recovery does.

Job change may be a great idea if what you need is a motivation boost and a sense of fulfilment.  But when it comes to that 'internal problem of living', I doubt something as extrinsic as that will solve anything. Life will just keep on lifeing.
If you're questioning whether your current method is working and kinda feel you need more powerful tools, I'll just point out what you already know, that those powerful tools do exist. You're already trying to apply some of the principles of the steps to your life, recognising that this challenge is more powerful than you and 'surrendering' yourself to Hashem etc, but joining a program in earnest is an entirely different experience. It absolutely works if you work it, and I have no doubt that you would.
I feel that suggesting SA to anyone here is kinda taboo, as though I'm talking about some dark, scary place which is to be avoided at all costs. Which is a shame and a big misconception. SA is a place of joyous freedom and recovery, a breath of hope for those who have tried all else and failed.

Got bored. Filter poked. Found porn. Realized I had no interest right now. Looked at it a little. Didn't have any interest. Moved on. 

iwillmanage wrote on 24 Feb 2025 22:21:

Thank you. I have a close relative whose life was saved by the 12 Steps. 

The reason I personally don’t recommend SA to people I speak with is simply because I don’t have personal experience there, and I feel that it’s only right and proper for me to direct and encourage people how to follow a path that has worked for me and that I understand. I don’t like to opine about things I don’t know or really understand. (I have no idea if it’s for you or not, Shem).

But I know that there are a lot of special people who have not been able to find help any other way, who have found healing and recovery through the Program. 
I appreciate the fact that you’re sharing about the very positive aspects of the Program. 

( I think that some of the negativity encountered here towards SA may be pushback that came from some folks here who have taken exception to the notion that some people have stridently expressed  (it’s mostly out of vogue now) that the only true path to recovery is SA, and that if you were helped by any other method, you must never have had a real problem in the first place. I don’t think that’s true, from personal experience. I know many people, whose lives were completely unmanageable, who have been helped and found recovery through other methods here.)

chaimoigen wrote on 25 Feb 2025 23:59:

Elucidating.

I just gotta say that I iwillmanage generously shared his time with me today to talk about his experiences with GYE/SA, and while I still don't know what the future will bring I do know that he is a really awesome guy to schmooze with.

Been a rough day. Feel like sharing these iconic words here:

chaimoigen wrote on 27 Feb 2025 03:57:

Yes! Abie Rotenberg!

I'm feeling less like Hotel California and more like the Overlook Hotel


People forget that before Steven King became famous and starting churning out endless repetitive garbage, he was an amazing writer.

Anyhow. What a day. 

My boss told me this week to shelve everything else and work on a crucial project he was going to assign. So I shelved everything else and was promptly assigned nothing. He slowly doled out a few minutes of work here and there. Culminating in today me being forced to stay in the office till Hashem knows when just so 1) his ego can be suitably massaged and 2) I can do a couple minutes of work after he's finally done f'ing around and gets his piece done.

All of which I could survive except for 1) only getting paid for work I do and 2) my wife is freaking pissed I'm working late today. 

With that in mind, I think everyone will understand today's episode of dancing on the edge of cliffs.  Still sober in the sense of I haven't seen actual pornography and haven't masturbated. But a lot of lusting. 

To look on the bright side, I'm absolutely shocked I didn't continue the "fall" I had last Thursday and Friday into an all out binge this week. That's amazing! To look on the dark side, I'm still giving in to the lust that lead to the falls last week - filter poking (successfully?), novels with semi-erotic content, far too many second glances at women around me. It's not gonna end well unless I can admit where this is leading to and do something about it. 

Here’s a warm hand. 

Guys who were the voracious ”Constant Reader” for many long years, and then stopped reading (him and other novels) still remember. (11/22/63 is a throwback to the old incredible talent, IMONSHO, btw). I’m actually in a REDRUM mood today, too. 
(The sequel was terrible. I only read it because it was a sequel.)

I hope your sequel to today’s story contains more of the discovered inner positive desire and less of the lust, friend.

Another Constant Reader here back in the day. My favorite was a bit off the beaten track, The Talisman.

Unfortunately, I also blame his books for normalizing lustful thoughts for me at a young age (probably started reading about 10-11 years old)

kavey wrote on 03 Mar 2025 14:35:

Tunnel scene at the end of “It”… yeah. Me too. I was 11 or 12. … 

It’s a shame what was taken from us… 

(And pleaasse- well-meaning friends, please don’t chime in here about how I’m a much betterperson because of my challenges.
I’m happy with who I am, but I ache for that confused kid. Come to think of it, the summer I read “It” was the same summer I found that magazine hidden in the waiters shack, the one that seared its shocking way onto my brain in a way that I still can’t forget now, many decades later. I have a lot of rachmanus on that boy. I just gave him a hug. BH, he’s  doing well now.) 

Literally had no work today. I sat in my office and waited for work. But nothing. 

No work = no pay.

I'm grateful that I didn't turn to lust.

I'm not thrilled I didn't find a way to use the time productively.