I am far behind you... my initial goal was 7 days and once I hit it, I celebrated in the wrong way and back to the beginning. I think the "moving the goalpost theory is solid. 90 days is awesome and if another 90 seems too tough, maybe make it 30 day segments? 

30 SECONDS OF CHIZUK:
Adam2014 I don't know your story but please know that the journey is a long one and where you are right now does not define where you will be one year or five years from now. throughout my journey (started a bit over a year ago) there were many many many steps which brought me in this direction along with many falls and slips and collapses. Keep fighting! everyone on here is rooting for each other and wants to hear about your successes, whatever form they take

To clarify, when you say you are so far behind it may have truth in it that this journey is a long one and takes a lot of time and effort which you may be closer to the starting blocks than the finish line, at the same time realize that 1) thats how hashem engineered us and working on ourselves is how we grow, not with overnight flash changes, and 2) you may not be so far behind as you think, I had many times of only being able to abstain from P and M for 2 weeks until falling, then I went on my current streak. It's not always easy to know where we are holding and what small changes can affect a large response in ourselves to blow past previous obstacles. So...
Stay strong, there is hope of getting better and stronger, and all efforts put in, including just being on this program, are a tremendous expression of love for Hashem as well as statement of your acting as an Eved Hashem (which I think is the point of us being here, but I'm not %100 certain)
Hatzlachah Rabah! Keep posting!

adam2014 wrote on 31 Oct 2023 10:22:

Ive been thinking about your question of how celebrate 90, what's something you use/see on a daily basis? That way every time you see/use it you'll remember what you accomplished. For example, a new watch, new talis bag, a painting for your house/office or something like that 

Buy a new house 

Just popping in to wish you warmest admiring Mazal Tov on the upcoming milestone. 

your cogent posts, real tips and aitzos, genuine honesty and humility and growth are a refreshing inspiration. Hope you master all 4 Chalakim. The 5th you’ve got in the bag!! 

Regarding the question you were asking a few posts ago about finding a goalpost after 90: Here are some of my personal thoughts on it. Not sure they will be helpful to you.

For me, Finding positive experiences, new positive feelings, and a different quality of life in certain areas, now that I’m living a completely clean lifestyle - this has proven to help me upgrade my motivation and give me greater commitment, even well past 90, thus far… BH. I keep the count so not to become complacent and not to lose the tool. But my prime motivation now are certain elements in my life that were not there before. For example: I finally really like myself, honestly…. Can’t believe I just said that…Anyways, that’s what’s working for me, for now. Hopefully will continue. Hope this helps. 

Admiringly, with congrats, 
Chaim Oigen

ainshumyeiush wrote on 31 Oct 2023 18:24:

Thanks, I really like this idea and am planning on finding something to implement it with. Really solid idea!

chaimson wrote on 31 Oct 2023 18:52:

Same issue with the wife, then she'll have more to clean and I'll have to hire a cleaning lady. which in turn could lead to financial issues which could cause stress which leads to feeling s of discomfort and loneliness which could act as a trigger for acting out. So I'm not sure if the Ma'alos would outweigh the risk potential. 

Gooooooooooood Morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
L'Chaim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone should please feel free to share in a lchaim with me at whatever time you see this post, May Heshem continue to grant me strength, Menuchas Hanefesh, Eitzos Hagunos, and Siyatah D'Shmayah, as well as for all those on this site and for others who are struggling in this battle.
Thank you again so much to everyone who reads and posts on this thread, it really gives me a lot of chizuk and inspiration.
Thank you also to the founders of this incredible organization and to those who continue to help it run, both behind and on the scenes.

I will IY"H continue to post on this thread as my journey continues, and I hope you will continue to read and post on here and hopefully maybe gain something from seeing my struggle and how hashem guides me.

With regards to the question I put up about moving past 90 days, thanks so much for all the good ideas, I plan to seriously consider all of them and try to implement them in my life in whatever way I feel would help boost me.
One other insight I had which is similar to what chaimogen shared but with maybe an additional angle:
Up until now I viewed myself as a beginner, a "stage one" player in video game terms.
​I don't remember much about video games but I think the Mashal is profound (I also saw it used in fortify and felt I was able to connect to it).
In stage one you work on your basic skills, gaining basic knowledge in order to reach a goal (usually to get of a tutorial island in order to make it to the mainland where the real show is). (OK the game I have in mind is runescape if anyone hear ever played it then you probably have a better view of the mashal)
Stage two is not simply a extension built onto stage one in order to make the game take longer, it is effectively another stage, meaning: Now that you have reached this point and gained and honed the basic skills, you can start to work on other goals, not simply bigger versions of the initial goal but rather different goals which until this point were not on the table because the stage one goal was more pressing and without having achieved that you would not have the emotional and mental strength to strive for the stage two goals. (Sorry if this isn't coming out so clear)
One of the outcomes of this view is what happens if I have a fall in 2 weeks, which is what happened the first time I hit 90 days. With this view, of course you would, so to speak, begin stage 2 over again, re adjust your goals maybe readjust your strategy and aqcuire new weapons or abilities. But it doesn't signal that you are back to square one. Similar to in a video game. This is of course unless you begin to continue to have regular falls which would indicate that you may have missed something in stage one or need to reinforce those skills in which case you should return to counting out 90 days again.
The goals would not be to make it a year (although that could be a tandem goal and something definitely to celebrate as a reinforcement of the basic skills which are the building blocks to moving forward). Rather it would be as chaimogen said other things in life to refine, be it having a healthier lifestyle, working on my relationship with my wife, or honing my skills in learning, or any other area which may have suffered as a result of this struggle previously or an area in which working on it strengthens on in the fight.
Again the main goal with this is to address potential depression if I have a fall later (which as I said happened before, and even though intellectually I knew that I had come along way I was still emotionally very effected), and to not create a burn out or feeling of pointless objectives by continuing to move the goal posts downfield.
Once again I apologize if the idea wasn't presented clearly, and I would appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts on it.
Thank you,
Hopefulposek

Hate to point this out to you but you’ve already moved your goalposts downfield. To run with your metaphor once you clear stage one and head on to stage two. There are many many objectives in stage two and which ever objective you have chosen to work on that’s where your goalposts have moved to and as you clear your objectives your goalposts will continue to move with you as long as you’re working on the next objective. Once you feel you have no more objectives and you try to cruise control with your goalposts safely in the rear view mirror that’s when reset buttons come in to play.

hopefulposek wrote on 01 Nov 2023 12:31:

Mazel Tov on 90!!!!
May you be zocheh to many more consecutive 90's
And may this good feeling you have now propel you onwards

Wow!!!
Mazel Tov!!!
Your enthusiasm is flowing over to all of us here!
Hope to join you soon in the 90 plus club!

hopefulposek wrote on 01 Nov 2023 12:31:

Mazal Tov.
As Cordnoy's profile picture used to say, "It's only smooth sailing from here."