I'm pretty new to GYE, and the whole forum structure, but I've heard that community is important, so I've decided to post about my journey for the past few months. I've struggled with P&M on and off for many years. There have been times that I've been a gibur (I went over 200 days without), and times that it has completely taken me over. For the past few months it's been rocky, but I am thrilled to have gone 30 days so far. 

I'll be honest: it seems to be getting tougher with time. Perhaps the first week was more or equally as difficult, but the next two weeks felt like a breeze. Now it feels tough again. At times I hear my yetzer hara telling me that it's easy now, that I'll never fall again, and that I should just google an innocuous picture of a woman, come on, it won't be so bad, maybe she'll even be tznius, I just want to see what she looks like.... Other times he tells me that falling is inevitable. 

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. An accountability partner would probably be very beneficial for you. Sounds like you are BH very much in control - just have to deal with specific tough moments.

iamvayimaen wrote on 04 May 2023 21:01:

Welcome! That's exactly the way it feels, a cycle. Again and again. I literally just posted about this exactly, right here.

welcome. If you strengthen yourself during the good times, such as by reading a book like The battle of the generation, It should help you to resist the temptations and the arguments of the yetzer hara during the more challenging times.

wishing you hatzlacha,
vehkam

Welcome to the family! Like you said, the strongest power we have here is that we are family, we are here for each other and we are not alone. Stick around, learn the ropes, and reach out to someone live to talk about what's going on in your life. Doing that changed mine. Keep sharing!

iamvayimaen wrote on 04 May 2023 21:01:

Welcome and thanks for posting. As others have already said, we are all in it together and we're here for you, rooting for your success. Feel free to reach out and connect. And keep posting! It really helps. 
In response to your comments, I think Grant said it best (I'm quoting from his recent post on his thread "Grant's Rants") -
"Some days are brutal, some days are a breeze.
On the hard days it's important I remember the easy ones, on the easy days it's even more important to remember the hard ones."

Thank you to everyone who responded. The chizuk, advice and sense of community is really helpful. 

Hashem Help Me wrote on 04 May 2023 21:06:

What are suggestions when seeking an accountability partner/ how do I find one?

יהוסף הצדיק wrote on 07 May 2023 22:14:

You can contact Hashem Help Me over there, he's helped me and plenty of other people her. Alternatively, you can reach out to someone else here that you feel like you can trust. Hatzlacha Rabba!