Hi Everyone.
I just had a fall and I wanted to start this thread now before I chicken out again because I think it will help me.

A little background of my story. I have been struggling since I was a teenager and have had my ups and downs staying clean. At one point I was well over a year clean doing really well but slowly I have sunk back down. Most notably around a year ago I started to have more falls more often.
I have recently been putting in more effort to stay clean and I could no longer sit back and just try half heartedly anymore (Not that it was ok that I got in to that routine after being clean for so long)

For the rest of today I will have to prevent myself from falling into the trap of saying since I fell today I can take the rest of the day off and start again tomorrow.

Hi there. Welcome!

strugle613 wrote on 08 Mar 2021 19:25:

If we ever doubt our ability to win this battle, we must fortify ourselves with the knowledge that Hashem is helping us. Hashem, Who appeared to our nation on Har Sinai and is the Master of all strength, is giving us the strength to fight. This is especially so if we cry out to Him for help. There is no doubt He will help us, and with His help, we can accomplish anything!

I really think it’s great that you are thinking in terms of baby steps 

תפסת מרובה-לא תפסת

Hey welcome!

Stick around buddy!

Do you have a filter?
What have you tried?

Take it one day at a time and one battle at a time

I made it through the rest of the day yesterday. I can't say that I didn't have any thoughts come to my mind and I can't claim that I got rid of the thoughts as fast as I would have liked to. But nothing happened from them so we will take what we can get.
Next step is today lets just try to get through as well as we can. 

Zedj wrote on 08 Mar 2021 19:49:

Yes I have a filter, but I think anyone can say that having a filter doesn't mean you wont see anything and can't find anything. (Still waiting for the filter on life that wont let me go somewhere if there is something triggering there)

Over the years I have tried many things. I was most successful when I was so busy with life that I didn't really have much time for anything. But since Covid working from home I somehow always have lots of free time.

I am currently using the TaPHSic method. It has helped me somewhat the past few months I almost made it to 30 days. 

Welcome Strugle613! (love the thread title btw)

Thanks for posting! I don't know about others, but when a newcomer starts a new thread/journey/goal, that's what gives me the most chizuk. Even though it may have only been 1 day since you last fell, it doesn't stop you from taking on this incredible journey- that's real gevurah!

Wishing you only hatzlocha!
Benoni

Benoni wrote on 10 Mar 2021 00:26:

Reminds me of Mordechai Schmutters book a clever title goes here

Checking in for todays update. B'H yesterday was a successful clean day. I only found myself in a situation once that seemed innocent but could have gone the wrong way if I wasn't paying attention but B'H I realized what was going on and made sure to get away as fast as possible.

​Thank you for the welcomes. It definitely helps me feel better about my decision to start checking in on the forums on how things are going.

Welcome!

You seem to be in it for the long haul. That's good. One important thing. Make a CBA, (cost benefit analysis) about the pros and cons of acting out vs. remaining clean. Make it crystal clear to yourself which path will bring you more happiness, satisfaction and pleasure in the long run. When a person has a clear vision of what is in truth more pleasurable, when confronted with an urge it is much easier to fight. Having a solid foundation behind the usual vague "it's wrong, I shouldn't " will work wonders.

Keep posting! Hatzlacha!

I am not good and writing intros to what I am going to say (Hence the title of the thread) so lets just dive right into it.
Yesterday was a very challenging day. I kept having the urge to go find things to look at and all in all I felt like my mind was just very lusty. Not sure how I made it through the day besides for Hashems help. Thinking about this thread was a good distraction sometimes. As I was considering posting something in the middle of the day just to try give myself clarity what was happening and why I should stay away from the lusty thoughts.

strugle613 wrote on 11 Mar 2021 14:03:

Your words are loud and clear.
You've nailed it on target, this is the idea of the GYE forum.

This forum gives you a place to turn to, It's almost like turning to your parents for help and guidance. There are fellow posters here that you don't want to disappoint with a fall, and there are others whom you can turn to for chizuk. And like every structured family, you can always come for a good chat to lift yourself out of a bad mood. 

Keep on posting and keep strong!

B'H yesterday was an easy day without many challenges. I wish everyday was like that. But I have to remind myself that just because yesterday was easy doesn't mean today will be. I think part of my issues in the past was that  I had a few easy days in a row and I became relaxed in my guard. I can't let that happen anymore.
I think I can really remind myself of this from yesterdays GYE boost email about not doing any poking. Once you get a few pokes that  is when the punches start coming in. So I will try my best to keep on  guard to make sure I don't get any pokes today even though I had no pokes yesterday. 

Doing my daily check in. (Shabbos excluded)
I have been very busy since Friday which is very good it doesn't give me a chance to have any lustful thougts stay around. I hope t stay busy the rest of today to keep everything going smoothly.