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Is it worth it to try this again?

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Is it worth it to try this again? 3072 Views

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 20 Dec 2020 14:38 #359159

Captain
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It's so good to have you back! Sorry to hear about your fall but now you will rise again!

In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 20 Dec 2020 15:16 #359163

sapy OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 533 Karma: 53	Welcome home! Pick yourself up, dust off, and keep going!

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 20 Dec 2020 16:32 #359166

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	Good for you for coming back on!! The biggest advice I can give, is it is never too late to come back to GYE and break free! We are all here for you and you CAN do it! Don't despair and appreciate every small success you have!
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 20 Dec 2020 17:49 #359195

yeshivaguy
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optomisim wrote on 20 Dec 2020 06:51:

Guys i left this chat thought i had nothing to add. had 3 weeks of a decent battle ( have specific goals working with a therapist that i have kept) but this last week was no good I fell too many times and now on motzei shabbos i fell again. I was looking for chizuk and i must say that the last post brought tears to my eyes. Reb godys you have mammish a real heart , oived elokim and youngster and reb hashem help me as well. I am imh back in the game. please hold me accountable.

Welcome back!
Nothing to add? Nonsense.
Someone like yourself who has been Moser Nefesh Mamish for the Ratzon HaShem, has VERY MUCH to add!
Thank you thank you for returning to us.

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 22 Dec 2020 02:15 #359356

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2824 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4002	Welcome back. Maybe you can share the advice that the therapist gave - maybe it can be beneficial for many of us.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 22 Dec 2020 04:09 #359380

optomisim
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12 + 12 doesn't = 24. WELL i AM 36 HOUR CLEAN!
Therapy is very individualized. The approach for me right now was to take smaller steps and create my realistic own monthly goals. This is not for everyone.... I dont mind speaking/writing to individuals who would like to know this specific mehalech. What I can say is when I had google play on my phone I kept messing up. Thinking I neeeeeeeeeded all the garbage. Without it I am in a better place. Till the next time. Lchaim.

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 23 Dec 2020 06:11 #359468

optomisim OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 55 Karma: 4	Hello being clean rocks anothe 24 hours lechaim

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 24 Dec 2020 00:36 #359543

optomisim OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 55 Karma: 4	ok another day clean Thank God. For me a big trigger is when after having a bad day I tell myself at least Im getting something. The truth is Im not getting anything except guilt. (its just taking away an urge) guilt sucks it absolutely sucks. I hate it with a passion. The truth is if passion to despise guilt is greater than my passion for porn Ill Imh be ok

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 24 Dec 2020 04:06 #359577

grant400
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optomisim wrote on 24 Dec 2020 00:36:

ok another day clean Thank God. For me a big trigger is when after having a bad day I tell myself at least Im getting something. The truth is Im not getting anything except guilt. (its just taking away an urge)
guilt sucks it absolutely sucks. I hate it with a passion. The truth is if passion to despise guilt is greater than my passion for porn Ill Imh be ok

I believe it is greater! That's why when in the throes of guilt, you see the truth with a pristine vision and clarity. You honestly don't want to do it again, even after just having experienced the so called pleasure. That's when we make our commitment and new resolutions. But the memories of the guilt fade, and so does our convictions based upon their foundation.

That's why I strongly suggest to write yourself a letter describing your emotions after a fall. Really paint a vivid portrayal of your emotions. Read it when faced with an urge. It will change everything by reminding you of the reality of indulging. I did it. I posted it in my thread, and I take a peek when I need a boost. It works for me. I hope it will for you.

Grant

"Just Regular Movies"
Grant's Rants
The Story Teller & Related Threads
The Five Languages of Love
Embarrassing Things We All Do and Think

Last Edit: 24 Dec 2020 04:06 by grant400.

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 24 Dec 2020 22:30 #359672

optomisim OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 55 Karma: 4	Man I could use that advice. Had such a stupid fall. so so so stupid. it was after a fight with wife whos a niddah in the morning then a stressful day of teaching. Then knowing that I need to tutor a few more hours to make ends meet. Anxiety took over. wish I could have breathed it through.....

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 24 Dec 2020 23:34 #359675

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2824 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4002	Read through your posts and see how far you have come. Major change in approach and in attitude. Iyh you will be helping others soon.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 25 Dec 2020 06:12 #359715

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	Stay optimistic!! You can do it and we are rooting for you!!
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 25 Dec 2020 20:39 #359759

optomisim OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 55 Karma: 4	Starting again is what makes me feel loserish. the i am 1 day clean...... i know what or i feel i know what everyones thinking. nebach.

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 25 Dec 2020 20:47 #359760

zedj Current streak: 14 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 627 Karma: 46	I would agree with your feelings if you give up and had not started again. Far from loserish, you are admired by starting again. The beginning is hard but bezh it will be better. Wishing you much success! Please keep posting , you can get through this. Have a great shabbos!
	One who has given up hope is without a G‑d. One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Is it worth it to try this again? 25 Dec 2020 20:55 #359762

yeshivaguy
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optomisim wrote on 25 Dec 2020 20:39:

Starting again is what makes me feel loserish. the i am 1 day clean......
i know what or i feel i know what everyones thinking. nebach.

Funny, that’s not what I was thinking.
You are a human being.
A human being has ups and downs, that’s how life works.
You are normal.
Hashem doesn’t expect us to “never fall.”
But HE does expect us to get back up and keep working to starve HIM.

You’re doing great. Keep shteiging and keep in touch!