hey guys, unfortunely i fell, and lost all my confidence that i can succeed! like i lost the trust in myself, this voice inside me is saying its over i own you and you know it, you will not succeed!!......any chizuk would be greatly appreciated!!!

You made it to day 93.  Wow, that's great!  Just get back up and keep going forward.    The first few days after a fall is the hardest since the Y'H is urging you to throw in the towel.   Thus, I would advise you spend more time on GYE during these initial days, utilizing the tools to help propel you forward.  Hazlacha! 

Mazal tov! You ask mazal tov?!? I just fell!!! But yes my friend, MAZAL TOV! You just had a 93 day streak which is what I can only hope for! 93 days of winning battles, of purity, of sacrificing delicious pleasure purely for hashem! 

Now, obviously you feel crushed and defeated so let's put this into perspective. A fight isn't lost by falling down but rather by not getting back up! Imagine you have a son you love immensely and he misbehaves terribly for a few years and has complete disregard for you or for your values. But one day he owns up and sits down with you and tells you how he feels terrible and how he will change. You see him visibly putting in effort and sacrificing himself to make it up to you, to respect you, to make you proud of him once again. Oh! The joy! The love! Day after day he slaves away all for you! One, two, ten, thirty, ninety three. Then he slips. Not because he suddenly doesn't love you or wanted to disrespect you but because he was tempted by old friends to misbehave they begged him, convinced and cajoled him. Waving the pleasures he gave up for you in his face so maliciously. But he fell to desire. Do you not love him still? Are you even disappointed in him? Do you understand him?

 Should he completely drop his amazing behavior and continue in his painful ways bec he let you down once after 93 days of pure undiluted love for you? Would that even make sense to you? 

 You fell. But you were only able to fall because you climbed so high. High towards hashem. Towards truth. Towards righteousness. You have a choice you can catch yourself on the next rung, continue climbing and eventually reach the summit just the same, or continue sailing through the air in defeat and give up on all the success because hell, I missed one rung so I may as well just remain on the bottom for a while. I think not! You will look back in another 93 days with pride! Thinking I fell but I got back up. I continued fighting with a bullet in my side! I succeeded in the face of much opposition!

Keep going my brother MAKE YOURSELF PROUD!!! PROVE TO YOURSELF WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!

                   Admiringly,
                              Grant

Grant400 wrote on 21 Jul 2020 17:14:

wow wow i love that story it really touched my heart! thanks so much for the amazing words i really appreciate it.....and im def gonna read it again!

Wow amazing 93 days!! Don’t look at it like a streak rather think about the accomplishment of 93 days.  Now keep counting don’t start again just add it to your 93 days.  Streaks are meant to be broken but if it’s not a streak it can’t be broken.

Its a lie he doesn't own you!
You won for 8,035,200 Seconds!
You won for 133,920 Minutes!
You won for 2,232 hours
You won for 93 days! 

Shmuel wrote on 21 Jul 2020 21:32:

what a great way and the right way to look at it! a real paradigm shift! thanks!!

My dear brother,

It is indeed very upsetting, but don’t think to yourself: "I am back to square one" - that is not true! You have learnt a new skill in life, and IY”H you will be in total control one day!

I personally tried several times to get to 90 days until I finally got there. Then, on day 157 I fell! I felt terrible. I was so upset with myself that you know what happened? I fell again. And again. Because that is what guilt does to a person. As R' Nachman said: “If a Yid does not get down (מרה שחורה) after doing an Avairah then the Yetzer Harah has gained NOTHING!” (this is not to be used as an excuse )

Another reason I fell 3 times: The YH knows you will get back on track shortly, so after a fall he just whispers to you: “Hey, ‘Chap arein!!’ Just enjoy yourself a few more times before restarting the long jurney…” – I HATE HIM with a passion! He is so mean! And he is so wrong…

Then, out of desperation to get back to the level of Kedusha & Control that I was holding by, I did something which I don't recommend doing: I made a Shevuah with Hashems name that I will not be MZ"L for 157 days! And it worked. IY”H in 12 days I will celebrate 365 days clean!
It was a long and painful journey and it still requires daily and even hourly a lot of Mesirus Nefesh, but it is so worth it. I am no longer impulsive but in total control of my actions.

Come on dear friend! Get back on track and you will feel amazing!

Looking forward to hearing from you some good news…

UpandDown

UpAndDown wrote on 22 Jul 2020 16:55:

hi upanddown, thanks so much for the great chizuk and the real understanding of the yetzer hora especially the chap arein! yes its evil!
I really respect u bro for your upcoming 365! well done! 
hatzlocha with everything,
todayicansucceed

hi guys, so its been over 24hours since my fall and bh all clean! Yes it was tough, especially dealing with the guilt and shame, but all the awesome chizuk really helped me get back up!!
Im looking forward to share iyh my successes as i keep climbing!

Kudos to you for getting back on here after such a fall! So many people throw in the towel after the first fall, and the reality is that is the most crucial moment! Sheva Yipol tzadik v'kam! 

I hit 272 days and then fell for a few weeks...Right now I am only about 40 days from getting back to 272 days again and it is all credit to the attitude of just giving it my best every time and not focusing on the falls.