When the challenge arises STOP AND THINK!!
I don’t need I want, wanting is not a necessity
Just walk away, BEFORE your mind makes stupid calculations why you should do it. 

I getting there but still so far from the stop listing entirely...

I had a really close slip up today. 
but I got to keep on going forward. 
Think about what situation I allowed myself to be in which caused me to be in this challenge and what to do in the future should I be in such a scenario again.  

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 23 Jul 2020 04:23:

You must keep in mind that you are not a newbie anymore, you are a veteran here. You know cause and effect and you know what happens and what to do about it. The trick is to be able to keep it in the front of your mind at all times. Don't allow yourself to get into a cycle of struggles, that's a recipe for disaster. Our physical desire tells us that we don't need all of it but if we give in a little here and a little there it will be so much easier, but as we all know you've got to nip it at the bud if you want to win this one. One of the primary rules in fighting is don't let the guy into your personal space.

Keep it up!

wilnevergiveup wrote on 23 Jul 2020 05:39:

Love this line about primary rules in fighting! Thanks!

I appreciate the feedback. 

fell a few days in a row after my taphsic “expired”. I’ve come to realize that in recent times in my struggle (last 4 months), even when I do fight back at an urge, It’s only for the money reason. So it’s almost like I’m waiting for it to expire. And then the next day I fall.

In the past I went close to six months clean. 
It was by making this a number one priority in my life by constantly learning and a growing experience working on all areas of taava.  

I believe for me to go back to stopping and telling  myself no, I need to reducate myself on self control, the reasons why I shouldn’t do it and multiple times a day inspiration. 

Past will not reflect the future. I need to check in here daily to keep myself going. 
i’ll make a list of all the reasons physical and emotional why I should stop doing these things. 
Every day I will review this list. 
Additionally I will make myself a chart to slowly mark off as I go along besides for the 90 day chart. 
With Hashem’s help I will overcome my challenges. 

You must inspire yourself to change your mindset from being something I want but can't have, to something I don't want but can't stop. Then immediately to something I CAN do. Without being clear why you don't want to and without working on yourself,  you can't expect any of these tricks to change you. They can help towards a goal but cant be the goal itself. If not you will be running on a rat wheel till you can't run anymore. 

                                Grant

It will be even better if you change your mindset from "it's something I don't want to do" to "I actually want to win" by learning to value each victory. But either way, you're 100% right. The core must be a reason you want to be clean, with techniques such a taphsic as a helper to keep you from slipping when you're not motivated. (I view fear of punishment the same way. It's not effective if it's the main "motivation," but it helps supplement other motivations well. It is used when needed, when the person temporarily does not feel motivated.)

This road has hiccups and I think it’ll take a while to get a long streak. But more and more I’m stopping to think why not to do it.  My attitude is changing. 

Changing your attitude is like building a foundation of a large building, or perhaps like having the roots needed for a large tree. Everything that comes after is built on it. Of course there's lots to do afterward, but all that will be built on your attitude, and the right attitude makes it a lot easier. (Though still not so easy, of course.)

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 10 Aug 2020 13:51:

Speaking for myself it all changed when I realized I had to stop it for myself. Not for my wife, kids or even Hashem. I'm not doing anyone a favour by stopping but for myself. My life is only real if I stop. If I keep going, it's like I'm living a fake life, not being able to focus on it properly. It feels like it just passes by. I kinda just go onto "zombie" mode and don't have the motivation to do anything but self-pity. But by not doing it, I feel like I can take on anything and feel motivated to do things I enjoy. Things really changed for me when I found my true "why should I stop P and M?".

Had a very stressful day but I refused to give in.

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 12 Aug 2020 00:56:

Cool. Same here. Lets keep rolling! 

Back to day 3, determined but extremely hard.