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Hi and welcome!

If the attraction is there it will come out at the proper time and circumstances, Until that time it's best not to obsess about it, and there is no need to "practice". 

As far as your second question, that's what this site is all about! Check out the tools and browse around on the forums and you will find many approaches that work for different people. Try some and see what works for you.

Hatzlacha!

ThanksGYE wrote on 04 Oct 2018 12:21:

You definitely don't need therapy to stop being מז"ל as long as the tools on gye help you, and there's no one specific way to stop someone, everyone has their own unique circumstances and based on that you'll  have to try different tools on gye which help you in your specific case.

Hatslocho, keep posting!

It sounds like you are able to perform with women, at least in your head. I don't think you need to develop your desire further at this stage. After you get married you can develop your specific desire for your wife. Everybody knows that the longer you've been with a woman, the better you know her, the more you desire her. Just spend a lot of time together, see her in different settings, dressed in different ways etc.



Lust is not a bad thing if your wife wants you to lust after her. Around here "lust" is overloaded to mean the maladaptive reaction some of us have to desirable things. You can fight true lust by learning a lot if gemara, if you are not an addict.



If right now you feel like you can't stop masturbating then you have work to do.

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. as mentioned above there is no need or purpose in testing your abilities at this point. There are many techniques to stop masturbating. Step one is to make it clear to yourself that although it is pleasurable (short term), it is not a NEED. One cannot live without food, drink, and sleep. Ejaculation is not part of that list....

I hope you are still visiting GYE!

I will say you are in a boat with many other people who have overcome this challenge.

How amazing that when you think of women it is only to get rid of more inappropriate thoughts.

However, my biggest suggestion is to fight it slightly differently. Many times this is something I have hear coined as "H"-OCD. Homosexual OCD, in other words you obsess over having SSA thoughts but by virtue of that fact that you can think about females in such a way it is not likely to be the case that you have a serious SSA issue. The solution (and it will take a few weeks to work through) is to just ignore the thoughts. Accept them and let them pass through but dont fight them. Its okay to have these thoughts and doesnt mean you have a SSA issue. You  will see after a while they will be much weaker and wont control your life. They still might creep up once in  a while but they wont be an obsession.

Hatzlacha! We are rooting for you!