I heard that Vort about Rabbi Akiva, that after 12 years away in Yeshiva he came home and overheard someone castigating his wife for letting him be away for so long, and she said she wouldn't mind if he learned another 12 years, so he turned around and went back to Yeshiva. Why he did not at least go in and say hello to her? The answer is that 12 years + 12 years does not equal 24.

#Day 9

What is the expected amount of time until being able to conquer shmiras ayanayim? (I am referring to looking at women on the street not p@&n)

120

Realestatemogul wrote on 22 May 2019 03:43:

Till right before they close the box on us.

Realestatemogul wrote on 22 May 2019 03:43:

im not a deah so im going to shut up in terms of my own opinion.
i dont know about conquering, but the sefer hachinuch says that it gets easier not to look with each time that u hold back from looking. you can trust him btw.
 tis possible that addicts are different, i dont know.

cordnoy wrote on 22 May 2019 05:44:

I love this response! Great question, great answer. Dovid Hamelech worked on it for a whole lot of time.

Higher, you're right, practice can make it easier, but to conquer..... shtate, "one should not trust himself until the day of death" if I may add - ad v'lo ad bichlal... (including the day of death) - and that was not said about addicts

stillgoing wrote on 22 May 2019 21:39:

agreed 100% thats why i said i dont know about conquering.
i still think its helpfull knowing that t can get easier. that was def. said about non addicts, could be addicts too, dunno.

Thanks Higher, Cordnoy, and HHM!

Higher, it interesting you say that it's easier knowing that it gets easier every time you look. Maybe this goes along with what Cordnoy said earlier on my forum that Humility is really important. I.e. maybe knowing that it will be really hard and appreciating that you have to do your best til the day you die is a healthy perspective. If I was told it will get better and then it doesn't, I would pretty much give up and blame myself. But, knowing that it is a lifelong project that may take years before seeing any improvement. Or, maybe really conquering means fighting it your whole life. Then I can try and persevere and stay strong like every other area of avodas hashem.

#Day11

Realestatemogul wrote on 24 May 2019 22:41:

yup.
general rule: whatever works for you works. if it doesnt work for you...goodbye charlie.   
as an aside: i was just repeating a chinuch that was focusing on weakining the tayvah to look. (there are many well known stories of gedolim that even in their old age they were extremely careful in shmiras einayim. obviously conquering is something else.)  i could say that this personally does work for me. (yay, i know-but i can def. hear it working for others im not so wierd...and it is a chinuch after all). and it has worked for me in the past. 
p.s. i believe the chinuch is saying a reality that goes beyond what does or doesnt work for people but thats a separate discussion and as i love to point out-addicts may be a whole diff. subject.

#Day14

I decided I'm gonna start adding hashtags post my post.

#Humility
#Truckin
#ShmirasAynayim
#LoveHashem

great idea!
lemme try too.
#n
#na
#nach
#nachman meuman.
there. now im set! 

Hi I just joined.
I liklike the heading of this group and I too am going to try my best to make sure this is the time I make it to 90 days! 

Hey Jewish! Thanks for the positive feedback and trying our best is all Hashem wants!

#Day24
#Soldier
#Positive
#Trucking
#SometimesTough
#BH
#TYH
#Hugs

Ha! These hashtags are surprisingly expressive. Nice job, KUTGW!

#Day31
#Busy
#StayFocused
#Eyeontheprize
#KabalosHaTorah
#TYH
#GYE