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Am i accountable
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Am i accountable 1748 Views

Am i accountable 11 Dec 2017 03:02 #323560

  • yosef10
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B''h I'm heading my 90 days. It took a lot of effort, probably the most I've ever put in, yet there were some technicalities. I have fell in my sleep maybe 3 or 4 times over the course of the 90 days. Although they felt real and realistic, i know for sure that i was sleeping. Consequently i would wake up really upset with myself. Towards the beginning of my fight to 90 days i really had to push through a lot of temptation. It could be that at the beginning of my 90 days, when i was fighting constantly throughout the day (literally non-stop), i allowed for some thoughts to come in,  and i maybe even hoped that i could have a lust dream so i could still get "that "wonderful" feeling", but that was my addicted self and B''h my neshama won over and i didn't act on it, i cried because i really inside didn't want them. Also, probably since around day 30 or 40, i set my goal and really fought my thoughts through and through. I took a lot of procations to not even put myself in a position to think like that. And i literally punch the wall (hard), if something comes up that i don't like. Yet, even after this mindset, i probably fell in my sleep and had a lust dream once or twice (to my despair), i was really upset. 

Being on day 82, i wondered if my real streak was tainted. I read somewhere that falling in your sleep can be attributed to lustful thoughts during the day, a swell as eating meat. The falling in my sleep was against my will, And if i could have always been awake, i probably would not have fell. 
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

Maybe you can gain something by following my journey... Or not, whatever works
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Re: Am i accountable 11 Dec 2017 03:30 #323564

  • gevura shebyesod
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What happens while you’re asleep is not a fall. Although it’s true that your thoughts during the day can affect your dreams, you still have no control over what happens at that moment. 
So it’s good that you realize that it’s still an area to improve, but don’t go beating yourself up over it. If anything, it’s a sign that you’re doing so much better during the day that the only time the list can get you is while you’re sleeping. 
Dont be upset, be proud of your progress and keep working at it. 
Hatzlacha!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Am i accountable 11 Dec 2017 21:55 #323598

  • serenity
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It is very common to experience nocturnal emissions when you stop masturbating. What has been suggested to me is to pay no attention to them. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Am i accountable 12 Dec 2017 01:37 #323601

  • Hashem Help Me
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In the beginning of breaking free, our bodies and subconscious have not yet realized that we have changed. They still know the release of ejaculation that they were trained with, and will try to cause that to happen. Similarly you will probably find yourself waking up with erections and even having erections while spacing out during the day. IGNORE THIS COMPLETELY. Iyh as time progresses, you will retrain your body and mind that you have found other ways to release the day's tensions... It is advisable to exercise often during this retraining period of time. Wishing you hatzlocha.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Am i accountable 13 Dec 2017 01:31 #323645

  • yosef10
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Thanks so much to all. You guys really help and i feel a little better. May we ALL have Hatzlacha!! ...Happy Chanuka
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

Maybe you can gain something by following my journey... Or not, whatever works
MY Forum
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