Hashem Help Me wrote on 28 Jun 2017 02:54:

Thank you for your support,
you know what, you cant be more right, the support and posts here on GYE, thats what keeps me going, its incredible how supportive our Chaveirim are, i thank you all for that.
im BH not meyiush, im happy to be part of GYE, and i know this is part of recovery, and i know that i will one day be the controller  of this addiction, and the addiction wont be the controller of me..
thank you.

Day #2

B"H I passed Day #1, and Today is Day #2

I’m clean for the 2nd day, Today is number #2, I’m very grateful and thankful to Hashem for helping me to get at this stage. (it’s sad, but that’s the name of the recovery game, and i'm getting tired of this game)

I had a great and clean day yesterday, was a bit easier than ever, since it was a day after the fall, im hoping to get it over, and im keeping on marching, we have 85 single today's to Rosh Hasanah, I hope I will make it clean…

Hashem, thank you, for helping me to survive, thanks to my best partner, and thank you all of you on GYE, I’m clean only because of you, it has nothing to do with me… I’m powerless, I wouldn’t be clean today without your help, I’m very happy that I’m part of this chevrah, without you, I wouldn’t be where I’m today.

Today is Day #2, and Today only, I really want to stay clean, and I will stay clean for the rest of my life, I realized that I’m Powerless, I can’t help myself by myself, I need upper power, assistance and guidance, the Today is not long at all, it’s a matter of just a few hours, I won’t mess up the few moments left in Today,  and Hashem, please stay on my 2 sides, please don't let me down, I want to stay clean, and help me, my partner, all GYE members and all Klal Yisroel stay clean.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And lets be positive and happy, Yes! We can! And Together!

Still didn't edit your copy and paste.

cordnoy wrote on 28 Jun 2017 17:38:

Did i break any GYE rule by copy and paste?

i like to make חזרה my Rosh Yesivah used to say, that main thing is to make חזרה, but in order to make חזרה we must to leran it the first time, so im listening to him, i keep on making חזרה....

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 28 Jun 2017 20:13:

Either stick to today or your entire life. You can't have both!

Chazara is supposed to have some sort of chiddush 

dms1234 wrote on 28 Jun 2017 22:21:

disagree!!! Chazara means, going over old stuff, with no Chiddusim..... it means "going over old stuff"

but i will come up with something different, but next week, I'm to bz at work to think....
thanks for the comments, i appreciate that.

Day #3

B"H I passed Day #2, and Today is Day #3 – Chazakah Day!!!

Today is number #3, I’m very grateful and thankful to Hashem for helping me to get at this stage. And as one of our members wrote here on the forum (Cordnoy: Copy/Paste) “that the good feeling that I learned what I thought was impossible became possible and the taste of success keeps me going. I don't want to fall and ruin all my hard work and need to start all over again”. well said!!!

Today im leaving to the Catskills, I hope and pray to come back in better shape then I left, I shouldn't have a fall in any way or shape, not an easy one…

Hashem, thank you, for helping me to survive, thanks to my best partner, and thank you all of you on GYE, I’m clean only because of you, it has nothing to do with me… I’m powerless, I wouldn’t be clean today without your help, I’m very happy that I’m part of this chevrah, without you, I wouldn’t be where I’m today.

Today is Day #3, and Today only, it’s the best & easiest way to recovery, when I focus on Today only, why look backwards when it looks depressing, so many falls and slips, and why look forward when it looks impossible, so far away and so much to go, so many rocks and potholes on the way, but the Today is so short, “Hayoim Kutzar” its really short, so that way is more doable, it’s a matter of a few hours, so let’s do it together…. lets not mess it up...

Yes! I do have lusty moments, hashem gave it to me for good reasons, and I’ll try to use it just for that, and ill try not to use it for something else, that’s part of my test, and I will try to get a 100 mark, if hashem sent it to me, Im positive that I can control it, and I will try with your help, I cant alone, and one day I will control my lust, and not the lust will control me..

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can! And Together!

You're so inspiring!!!

i just got my daily chizuk from ur post 



thank u!!

Michael94 wrote on 29 Jun 2017 22:51:

Thank you, your supportive post keeps me going, 
thanks 
stay strong stay clean 

Hi shvisi_hashem, how was it in the catsKILs for shabbos, and how's Today?

Its my 6th clean day, im bz setting up kids in camp, will update tonight.
Sorry

Its very interesting. Here I am in the Catskills in a very tzniusdik place removed from the city streets. Stress level is down bh. But the struggle is great. My wife is off limits and I need that hug....... If only I could act out and "hug" myself....... I think b'ezras Hashem I will pull through. Maybe posting and being honest and sharing with the oilam will help...  Sort of hoping/not hoping that it happens while I am asleep to release.... Thanks for reading.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Jul 2017 01:17:

Warning: This post is highly pretentious. However, if even one word is relevant to you it will have been worth it. Wishing you the very best. You can do it. It's not about keeping a streak. Rather, you know that these behaviors truly have nothing to offer you in the way of anything good. 

I'lll hug you. Here's your hug: You are not special. Probably, anyways. Neither am I. Neither is your neighbor, probably. We are all just human beings. Our job our this earth isn't to be a perfect snowflake  Have a little compassion for yourself. You don't need to be perfect to be loved, and you won't need anyone to hug you if you realize that. What's the connection? Well it sounds like you want a life with no desires. So you try fighting these thoughts and emotions. It ain't gonna work though. You make emotions stronger when you argue with them. It's not bad to have these desires. It doesn't represent what you truly want. Also, they get weaker when you accept they are there, simultaneously recognizing they don't necessarily represent what you truly feel. For example, when someone bumps into me I may feel annoyance. I might even think, wow, what a useless person. Can't they get their act together. That thought occurred automatically. Does that represent my true feelings about this person? You can apply to lust quite easily. You see someone...

But that was just my own nonsense. Here's what I can tell you with absolute certainty. Having a wet dream ain't gonna help you one bit. You don't need any "release". It's complete hogwash. Actually it increases desire sometimes in my experience. 

Lastly, you say you are sort of hoping it will happen. I don't believe that for a second. You don't want it. The real you. The nefesh elokis inside you. The desires that you feel are not totally under your control. Stop struggling with them and realize it's not you that wants it. It's the nefesh habahamis. It's the thinking mind. The primal mind. Whatever you want to call it. The you who represents your true desires (long term plans etc. ) Is the real you. What's the proof? It's the only part of you that you control.

It sounds like you are falling for the old trick of the nefesh habahamis. He convinces you that you want what he's telling you. So you argue with him etc. You can't argue with negativity! It just pulls you down and makes the emotions stronger. You can't try to get rid of a feeling. All you can do is accept it and let go.

Stop trying to feel good and just live. 

Peace

Day #7 – One week clean

B"H I passed Day #3, 4, 5 and 6, and Today is Day #7 – One full week!!!

(Sorry for the delay, I had poor internet connection upstate)

Today is number #7 – one clean week, what a pity, I could have been today at 88 days, but I won’t look back, it is what it is, it wont help me, as I know from experience to focus only on TODAY.

it’s just a few days in the summer, and its murder, I had a very lusty night, i couldn’t for haven sake fall asleep, and I worked very hard to distract my head from the lust, my wife is upstate, and I’m staying in the city by myself, it’s the most toughest time from all year round, I used to act out for no good reason, with no regret at all, I don’t know if it’s because I’m lonely and bored, or is it because I’m too relaxed, since my wife and kids are not home, so I’m not that stressful, or is it because I’m missing my intimacy from my wife, or something else which I can’t pinpoint, or is it all together, I need your help and tefiles, I must pass the summer clean… I hope I will..

I sew in the sefer בת עין a few lines, which was a very big chizik for me, ill write it word by word from the sefer:

רק על כל פנים לא יתיאש האדם החוטא חס ושלום כי אם יאמין באמונה שלימה שהבורא ברוך הוא רוצה בתשובה כי רחום וחנון הוא שאפילו בחי' נפילה שיש לו בעבודתו יתברך הוא גם כן בחינת חסד כדי להעלותו כדי שיוכנע לבבו מאוד ויושפל בבחינת שפלות וענוה להיות בבחינת תול''ע לפני השי''ת ועל ידי זה ישיב אל ה' בלב שלם ובוודאי יקבלו

Comments are not necessary, Pintel…

Hashem, thank you, for helping me to survive, thanks to my best partner, and thank you all of you on GYE, I’m clean only because of you, it has nothing to do with me… I’m powerless, I wouldn’t be clean today without your help, I’m very happy that I’m part of this chevrah, without you, I wouldn’t be where I’m today.

Today is Day #7, and Today only, it’s the best & easiest way to recovery, when I focus on Today only, looking backwards is like walking up the hill, it looks depressing, so much more to go up, irs hot, sweaty, tough, so many falls and slips, falling rocks, look forward is like going down a steep hill, so scary, looks impossible, so far away and so much to go, so many rocks and potholes on the way, but the Today is so short, just one step at a time, “Hayoim Kutzar” its really short, so that way is more doable, it’s a matter of a few hours, so let’s do it together…. lets not mess it up...

Yes! I do have lusty moments, hashem gave it to me for good reasons, and I’ll try to use it just for that, and ill try not to use it for something else, that’s part of my test, and I will try to get a 100 mark, if hashem sent it to me, Im positive that I can control it, and I will try with your help, I cant alone, and one day I will control my lust, and not the lust will control me..

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can! And Together