It may be cheesy... But that's why I'm postin' this before shavuot

Why do I think It will be All right
If I just click on that website

Why do I think I'll be ok
If I just take a peak and then look away

Haven't I learned anything from the past
Let lust thru the door and he"ll move fast

Let him in for a little while
He will stick around and make you vile

Give him 20 minutes - or a little less
You will become his slave, you"ll regress

So when Mr lust knocks on the door
Get on gye and nothing more

Surrender to the one above
Call your friends and pull the plug

Beautiful! KUTGW 



I wonder if we can collect all the good lyrics written on this website and get some composers to put out the GYE album of chizuk music...

An album sounds nice... As long as I don't have to sing, because if I do nobody will listen

In other news, I have started to feel like a starved individual, and that maybe a deserve a little taste of "the good life". I have even peeked at photos of "permitted women" (like woman who are wearing most of their clothes, at least that's my excuse, but you know and I know it's a pretty bad excuse). People post all the time in the forum along for ideas, I don't think I need ideas on what I need to do, because it's quite strait forward. I just need someone to 

I don't want to be arrested so I wont slap you, but you better cut it out immediately. The YH is wise and patientand gets us into aveira with baby steps. You know good and well how bad we feel after acting out. Go to the complete other direction, like the nazir who walks around a vineyard and doesn't even innocently walk through it. Every move away from aveira breaks the habit more and give you more divine protection.

Well that was a humbling experience, from 114 days back down to 1. As you may have noticed from my last few posts I had been struggling as of late. Right now I will not focus on the cause of the fall and what can be done for the future. Rather I will focus on post falling.(no pun intended)

In the past after a fall I would immediately think about Teshuvah and oy vey, how am I ever going the the high spiritual madregah that I was for being clean a week 2 or 3, and in what ways will Hashem punish me (not just in olam haba)

But now I have learned that that is just poison and won't get me anywhere. What I really want is my sanity, I miss my sanity. and this is my prayer to Hashem - Hashem, I know you love me despite what I have done, please help me regain my sanity, one day at a time.

Sincerely Hakol Hevel

Hakolhevel wrote on 12 Jun 2017 12:06:

So, why not focus on what can be done for the future? Is that poison as well?

That thank you to trouble was accidental. How do I remove it?

Sorry about the fall. Been following your thread and learning a lot. 

LifneiHashem wrote on 12 Jun 2017 14:38:

Consider it removed.

I love you too.

Trouble is a synonym for opportunities for growth and we can grow from the trouble in our lives - and from Trouble also.

No it's not poison, it was just too raw and painful for me this morning to discuss future strategy.

I find right after I fall I am most suceptable to falling again. By focusing on the pain of how insane I feel, but at the same time not being depressed by realizing hashem still loves me has BH stopped me from falling again ( and I have had the urge). As the pain of the insanity wears off, that's when I need to get cracking and get to work        ( probably another half a day).

Thank you everyone for being here and let's keep the discussion going as there it's alot more that I would like to get out of my head and type it out.

LifneiHashem wrote on 12 Jun 2017 14:39:

Just goes to prove what you wrote in your thread
"Things have been going pretty smoothly, & I can honestly say I that for most of the past 2 1/2 months I had minimal desire to act out. I was tempted to believe that I was "cured", but after reading so many other people's experiences, I knew not to be fooled and i needed to keep my up my gaurd."

Hakolhevel wrote on 12 Jun 2017 16:07:

Yup me too

Gotta Guardmyguard

Hakolhevel wrote on 12 Jun 2017 16:07:

I wrote that? Nice to reminisce about a time when apparently things were going smoothly for me. Sure ain't the case nowadays. 

Sorry to hear about the fall, but now you know it can be done for extended periods of time. Do it again!