God speed!

I really feel for you. I can totally relate to the money issues...
Really impressed with your attitude about the whole situation. I would've acted out just from the stress of dealing with this accident even if I would have had the money for it. Thank God you are safe and sound and may Hashem bless you with loads of money and very little stress and worry.

GS: Amen,  thank you! there's chaveirim, but they couldn't help.  Eventually igot home at like 5:30or 6 

HHM, the word tzaddik apparently has different meanings in my book. But you did get me to laugh and btw, YOU are a special Yid. Incredible. Not at all saying that because of what you called me,  you have just really been an inspiration.  Thank you holy brother! 

Cords, thank you for your encouragement a and amen!

LK, trust me,  you would not have acted out if you were located where iwas.  Absolutely no privacy. 
אמן אמן אמן! 

One more thing.  Which one of you was truckin that truck? Cuz you gotta be more careful. Chill out

bb0212 wrote on 25 Dec 2017 04:36:

Just to quote the Dov: There is no situation in life that lusting won't make it worse. 

Think about it.

Hakolhevel wrote on 28 Dec 2017 01:56:

Ok. 
perhaps that's true,  but it depends on how you look at it.  Besides,  I'm not sure that I would qualify where I was, as lusting. I was very very stressed out & my usual release (basketball) hadn't been available for weeks. By falling,  I released so much stress.  Then I started my count again right away,  but with less stress.
In the past, when I would fall once, I would fall a few times,  or a bunch more. Then,  after a few days/weeks, I'd restart my count.  However,  this time I realized that falling might feel good,  but it was entirely unnecessary - the stress was already gone.  And I didn't fall.

bb0212 wrote on 28 Dec 2017 15:28:

There is no situation in life that lusting won't make it worse. 

FOCUS on the word LIFE

​IF you are looking at your current stress level, maybe it went down (temporarily) , But your life is back in shambles. Proof is in the pudding, you came here to tell us about it, and you sound confused.

But the silver lining as tzomah said is that you where honest about what you felt, but hopefully you where honest about it with a real person too, because honesty here doesn't translate into much...

Hakolhevel wrote on 29 Dec 2017 03:29:


Can you please clarify the above quote, I really don't understand what you're trying to tell me. Ty

I quoted "There is no situation in life that lusting won't make it worse."To which you responded, it depends on how you look at it, implying in a certain sense, life has gotten better (or at least that's how I understood it) My response to that was, maybe your stress level has gotten better, or other details, but your life, living real life, has only gotten worse. See my post number #316524 page 11 here. 
guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/306108-The-Road-To-Being-Honest-With-Myself-(and-others)?limit=15&start=150#316524 As a disclaimer, obviously I am only sharing my experience and what works for me may not work for you.

Fell this morning.  Was up all night watching movies

HALT

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

So, time to get back on the plan, I guess.  My gut says you will pick right back up again!

serenity wrote on 04 Jan 2018 19:21:

Haven't gotten up yet. My truck needs a tuneup to get me back up and trucking.  

I'm just numb.  Which is probably why I fell to begin with. 

dunno where to go from here.

bb0212 wrote on 05 Jan 2018 06:53:

Sounds like you need to make a phone call if I may suggest

First stop acting out, don't think in whether you got up already or not & if you fall again... get up again. By giving up on the situation you don't make things better.
I didn't find yet my way out of a fall, I'm only doing the above & it helps sometimes.

youcan wrote on 05 Jan 2018 15:42:

Pretty sure my problem isn't that I need to get up. My problem is why I fell.  What I need isn't to stay clean, I need to start living again in order to start staying clean.

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 05 Jan 2018 09:49:

 You're definitely correct.  Phone calls have been made, I've  also spoken face to face with some people .  Still disconnected from life,  but perhaps I know what needs to be done.