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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Success Story 18418 Views

Re: Success Story 18 Nov 2015 00:45 #268895

shlomo24
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ysftw wrote:

4 days complete. 86 days to go.

To clarify what I mean by willpower, of course the desire to stop was always there. Of course. Although not really of course, one can always say that you didn’t want it ENOUGH etc. That's the general desire.
When I say willpower I mean:

in the moment between you and your Yetzer it's your Yetzer vs Your Willpower. Your yetzer presents the tempting option, uses everything it has, puts forward the most enticing argument you've ever heard. Against this you may try to bring up all sort of thoughts for the other side, against the yetzer. Sometimes you are successful and you manage to convince yourself that it's better not to give in at least for now.

But regardless, with or without the thoughts on the other side, there is still always the choice whether or not to give in. Your yetzer makes it so you want to so badly, but however tempting things are, there is always a choice, there is always the ability to say no. However hard that is, and wherever it is buried, you chose to act, or not to act on your yetzer. Willpower that I'm speaking of is realising that and committing, that, no matter what, there will always be a choice to not give in, and committing in advance (and B'H forever) to always decide against the yetzer. That is something within ones power. It's a choice.

And that, and very little else, is the commitment I'm making. Because tricks, bells, and whistles, at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to.

So is your plan to keep on fighting your whole life? I did that for about 6 weeks and it was HELL, acting out was more preferable. But obviously I am not everybody (as much as i think that sometimes). Why do you think that this next time will be different than before? Did you not know all that you posted already? Were you not as committed then?

Also what happens after 86 days? Will the yetzer hora (if it is one at this point) just go away?

If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can.

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Success Story 18 Nov 2015 21:57 #268977

ysftw
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5 days done. 85 days to go.

Still gunning.

I don't have a long term game, I'm just focusing on 90 days. I have no life long fix. I'm not sure one exists. Every day will be a fight with something. Perhaps now I am more serious than I ever was. Perhaps not. I'm not sure it matters. It's not about inspiration. You may well be right.

I just hope to treat great every day with a fight, and grow that way. And see where I am in 90 days.

Do you have another option?

Re: Success Story 18 Nov 2015 22:03 #268978

cordnoy
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ysftw wrote:

ummmm.....if you're askin', then yes, we might.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Success Story 19 Nov 2015 22:02 #269107

ysftw OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 160 Karma: 8	6 days done. 84 days to go. Getting into the habit of ignoring the yetzer, it's tough, but there's a knack to it. In all areas. Anyone with thoughts beyond this, simple willpower tactic, please, write them out here, simply if possible...such that I can learn and implement, and discuss...that would really useful, i feel people are being suspicious here

Re: Success Story 20 Nov 2015 03:30 #269120

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	Abandoning our will to god and asking him to help us because many times willpower alone isn't enough, we need godpower.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Success Story 20 Nov 2015 11:38 #269147

ysftw
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Shlomo24 wrote:

Abandoning our will to god and asking him to help us because many times willpower alone isn't enough, we need godpower.

I hear what you're saying.
Naturally I agree...you have to do what you can (put your willpower on high alert (which by the way I really believe can be very high)) but the rest; the situations you're in, the temptations, the happenings, the triggers, you have to leave that to Hashem, and yes, pray.

"Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except fear of Heaven" -R Chanina Berachot 33b.

Still, and I'm not quite sure how to express it, I think there is a time, before all the tears and the prayers, and all the pleading and spiritual euphoria, and what we think of as direct teshuva. Where there's just a spacing period. Where you successfully commit and act to distance yourself from the aveira BEFORE you can really start doing teshuva. Of course, this, in a sense is teshuva. But before I can truly regret what I've done, I want to put a bulk of time between myself and the aveirah. Perhaps 90 days, perhaps less, to get a good perspective, and only then feel confident enough to genuinely ask for Kapara.

Unfortunately due to the timings I wont be able to post when I make it a week clean. That will have to be tomorrow.

Still, it's almost a week since the fall, and things are looking up.

Shabbat Shalom.

Last Edit: 20 Nov 2015 11:42 by ysftw.

Re: Success Story 20 Nov 2015 15:13 #269158

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	I wasn't talking about teshuvah.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Success Story 21 Nov 2015 21:15 #269188

ysftw OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 160 Karma: 8	Shlomo24 wrote: I wasn't talking about teshuvah. I didn't make the disjunction between my answer to you and the paragraph on teshuva clear enough. Apologies. But just look at the first part I wrote. On another note 7 and 8 days done. 82 to go... Feeling good, every day is a fight, it's getting harder. With the help of Hashem I'll be ready.

Re: Success Story 22 Nov 2015 21:01 #269322

ysftw OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 160 Karma: 8	9 days down, 81 to go. For anyone wondering due to timings my 90 day counter is a few hours behind the actual count. Either way. ..sid is getting sly. So far waking up every day ready for the fight is the ongoing challenge

Re: Success Story 23 Nov 2015 19:02 #269407

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	KUTGW!
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Success Story 23 Nov 2015 21:10 #269435

ysftw OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 160 Karma: 8	10 days done. 80 to go. Clearly the first ten are the easiest. Sid has many voices...The voice of persuasion. The voice of persuasion to listen to persuasion. Infact any voice in my head seems to be Sid. The right move doesn't have a voice...its already known. A feeling from my core. The trick is realising the voices of sid are all sheker. And ignoring them. And doing what must be done.

Re: Success Story 24 Nov 2015 20:42 #269547

ysftw OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 160 Karma: 8	11 days gone 79 to go. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Sid. All voices are Sid. I always know the right thing to do, it's never a voice. Baruch Hashem this has been going well so far.

Re: Success Story 24 Nov 2015 21:03 #269553

gevura shebyesod
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!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Success Story 24 Nov 2015 21:06 #269555

bigmoish
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This is what came to my mind...

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!