Recently i was thinking that a big reason I cannot act out is because of the collateral damage my family suffers ( I get depressed/full of self hatred and basically project it on my wife and children) I cant yet determine if this attitude is a good tool or not as Ive B'H been doing pretty good..

What's the Gye take on Shovavim ?
I assume its different depending on where someone's holding , I just want to hear the general Hashkafa

What exactly is your question? What hanhaga of Shovavim are you referring to? Shovavim has been around for a very long time. It is a zman that is mesugal to work on these inyonoim. Many communities use this time period to give appropriate shiurim. There are kehillos that fast (some do half day fasts) on Thursday or Friday of these weeks, and there are slichos printed in some siddurim. Some even lain Va'yechal by mincha. Many say added tehillim during this time period - there are those that complete the entire sefer tehillim with a minyan. And i am sure that there may be many more beautiful minhagim relating to this zman. As long as one is basically stable, any of the above (maybe with the exception of fasting for an entire day) would be appropriate for one who is looking to ask Hashem for kapara for the past and shemira for the future. That being said, if one will get depressed by focusing so heavily on this, it may be advisable to avoid arousing possible negative feelings. Similarly, one who finds himself obsessing on the inyan may be better off keeping everything as is.

That's a great summary

Thanks

mmaybe lkavod shovavim you can have a great every day to thank Hashem that you found get and your working on recovery. That's what I would do. (and learn select sefarim)

mmaybe lkavod shovavim you can have a treat every day to thank Hashem that you found get and your working on recovery. That's what I would do. (and learn select sefarim)

Any suggestions ?

Correct me if im  wrong but it sounds like the classic trap - " I'm such a loser I might as well be unproductive and read articles.. and than-  see all I do is waste time reading articles .. back and forth and then if Im a waste than I might as well act out...
I would say This is my biggest obstacle to being completely free - any good tips n tricks you learned along the way?

i-man wrote on 25 Dec 2018 03:04:

Hey bro, slow down, I don't know why one needs such convoluted excuses to act out...

Now, who was your question actually addressed to? It sounded like a response to someone 

Markz wrote on 25 Dec 2018 03:40:

It was in fact addressed to someone on a different thread I wanted to post that 8dea on my thread and got lazy about putting it in the right context..

As for the first Q - I'm just saying that this seems to be the biggest trigger for me at this point and the main thing that's still holding me back

Nowadays B'H I usually  dont have any issues when my wife isnt around , However I recently fell along with other factors im feeling some urges (shes out now) so im   posting here now for some good ol accountabilty

Hashem help me - An urge is just an urge not a monster.

An urge is like a monster in the closet. It's scary, dangerous, and makes the child in us afraid and unable to move. However, if we just focus, wrap a sheet around like a cape, gird ourselves with a broom or toy sword, and swing open the closet door - we'll see that there was nothing there. 

Wow just thinking back to that evening in June when i dialed some guy i messaged on gye - after a 5-10 minute conversation I hung up and felt like a heavy weight  was lifted off my shoulders..what a difference

I dont know who to speak to about putting shiurim in that section but I thought that this shiur from Rabbi kalish of waterbury was an incredible perspective on the challenges we here face .

www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?a=74199

or call 
718-298-2077  press 9 than 74199 than # 

stillgoing wrote on 07 Jul 2015 15:15:

Wow I was reading through my thread and finally understood this joke..