stillgoing wrote:


I take issue with that, for many of us have "let go," and we have found that it brings us closer together. While, yes, if we are too close, we may not be so ashamed of the fall, but it sure beats anonymity.

bhatzlachah

Cordnoy


I do not believe that writing anonymously is beneficial, I was just saying that it's easier. And to your other point, although there are many relationships going on behind the scenes with many people here, on the forums everything is written without personal details. (I've noticed that people don't even make reference to current events anymore. Older posts were very different)

bhatzlachah

stillgoing wrote:


I believe some guy has a quote in his signature sayin' the followin': "The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same," or somethin' of the sort.

bhatzlachah

GOOD BYE, My friends.
This isn't easy, but at this point I feel that I have no option but to ban myself from this computer for the next little while. It's not easy saying this either, I feel like a 5 year old, who can't control himself when there is a piece of cake in front of him with no one watching. Filters, no longer mean much to me. Webchaver won't work for me since this computer is used by others as well (don't worry, I know how to cover my tracks, unfortunately). Hopefully at some point (?) I will have the good sense to be able to control myself even when there are no people watching, (If only I really realized that Hashem Is always watching). I can still occasionally make posts, but not so often.
Thank you very much, to everyone who has helped me, (and there has been many).
May we be zocha to meet in Yerushalaim, soon with happiness, with the rebuilt bais hamikdash, and to finally have an end to the crushing need of gye. (not an end to gye, just an end to the need for it. We will need to adjust the forum names a little, but hopefully we'll all still be here.)



[if anybody wants to be in contact, I can still see posts and PM's on my phone, I just can't reply (except through email)]

Bye
SG

Hey you can't leave until you finish the story!!!

I just put in the last part

I don't think I'm one necessarily to suggest this since I've had my battles. However, from the sound of your story so far, I'd suggest you take the next step (in recovery). I suggest you join the phone calls, try to get a sponsor (if possible)(I might know of one) & if possible (& I know it's hard) maybe try going to face to face meetings.
Hatzlocho Rabbo in your battle & keep perservering

Hatzlachah to you.
I left several times as well.
You have my email.
Use it please.

Thanks friend

Ditto for me stillgoing! Tell me you're stillgoing^TM to stay in touch!

Thank you everyone, and thank you TheBigX90 for your ideas. As much as I don't like it I think I may try to go in that direction. For some odd reason that I can't seem to figure out , pure will doesn't seem to be enough.
This makes me nauseous, and for some reason, I seem to like being nauseous.
Someone once told me something that gave me chizuk. Sometimes we wonder how we can hope to bring mosheach, while past generations didn't do it. They were learning 15 hours a day (some people), even the posheta yid would cry and cry on tisha b'av. They were able to do so much more good then us, and they meant it too.
They may beat us in Asay tov, but we can far surpass them with sur m'rah! What nesyonos in arayos they had in past years, doesn't hold a candle to what we battle with every single day. Think about it, to do "bad" in the shtetal, one had to somehow made contact with a goyisha girl, somehow attract her to himself, find a place to hide outside of the town, etc... not so simple. Today... I don't need to explain.
In assay tov, we may not be as great as in the past, but in sur, m'rah, we can go much much farther.
May we be zocha, that Hashem should see our tremendous efforts in sur m'rah, and next tisha b'av should truly be a joyous happy time for all of klal yisroel

"it is told in Sanhedrin 102b that the soul of King Menashe appeared to Rav Ashi, who asked him, "Since you were all so wise, why did you worship idols?" The king replied, "If you had been there, you would have picked up your robes and come running after us (to worship the idols)."" (Azamra.org)

Every generation and each person has their own individual hardships. I think it's too easy for us to rationalize and excuse our behaviors when we compare ourselves to others. Let's focus on ourselves and on today.

I agree with Serenity's beautiful and relevant post. Even comparing ourselves with people from this generation is pointless.

Come on you guys! You cant handle a little chizuk? (I know you like that one serenity:P )
I'm not referring to idol worship which is a tayva which we cannot understand today. I am talking about the last thousand years. In arrayos in particular. Granted there were nisyonos in past generations which are much easier today, but in the area of lust? Today every single person can, with the smallest bit of effort have a mini zona in his pocket. Often it's there without us even wanting and we need to put in great effort to remove it! I am not trying to "rationalize and excuse our behaviors". I was very carful in my wording. I purposely did not write the words " what we need to battle with" because that would imply that we have a choice to battle or not. We have no choice, I wrote " what we battle with every day" since for many of us, particular those who have not yet attained a long period of sobriety, it is a daily battle. It's all very nice to say "don't compare" but when one is struggling to survive, to keep one's head above the water and not drown, one needs to take all of the chizuk that he can get. The fact is that today we can accomplish a great deal more in the realm of fighting the lust yetzer hara then was possible or needed 50, 30, or even 10 years ago. We don't live in a vacuum anymore, maybe we should, but the fact if that the supreme court just passed a law that is so low in morality that it in fact parallels the some of the laws in s'dome! This is the world that we live in. These confused an immoral ideas come at us from all sides, I do not believe that this can be compared to the shtetal. Yes, they had other problems, but this issue is for our generation to battle.
I saw b'shame the Ohr HaChaim Hakodosh, that when the Jews left mitzraim, they were on the 49^th level of tumah, and then rose to the 49^th level of kedusha. Why not the 50^th level of kedusha? Because they were never exposed and battled the 50^th level of tumah, so they couldn't attain the corresponding 50^th level of kedusha. Before Mosheach comes we are going to be exposed to the full 50 levels of tumah, to battle it, and to keep on battling it, so that we will be able to attain the full 50 levels of kedusha.
Today, it's hard. This is our job. We must keep at it. There is no stopping. It doesn't hurt to know that. And to know that Hashem singled us out to fight this particular battle. It can actually make one feel good to know that Hashem sent us on a special mission.

Some vacation you took.

Serenity and TalmidChaim, are we still friends? I noticed that there was no response to my response