pmarlowe wrote:


Have you tried filtering your mind? Chaining your hands? Poking out your eyes?

In all seriousness I think you might be focusing on the wrong thing.
Most people here, myself included, have discovered that lusting is just a reaction to other issues and not the issue itself. in other words there are issues or difficulties that we have that we choose (or need) to escape from, and we find that lusting, porn and acting out are excellent escapes (until it catches up to us)
I would suggest to take a hard look at yourself and your life and figure out what it is that is really bothering you and then spend more effort on the problem and not the symptom.

[quote="unanumun" post=256040]pmarlowe wrote:


That's a great point, but isn't that 2 separate inyanim (meaning if lusting is actually that bad, shouldn't I be ensuring the symptom doesn't happen, WHILE i work on the root problem?

Also wondering, how can I tell if there is a root problem? I mean everyone has something bad in their lives but I started when I was very young because I was curious, didn't find out it was wrong for a few years and by then I was way too addicted to just 'stop', kind of like rats and dopamine

hows the rest of your life?
are you anxious?
are you jealous?
do people make you angry?
fidgety?
stressed?
do you have an ego?

b'hatzlachah

You said you started young and didn't think it was wrong. Did you keep it a secret from others, and if you did, why?

Hello everyone.
Anxious - yes but I'm in yeshiva and taking college classes. Difficult parts of my life to balance.
Jealous- a bit.
DO people make me angry? - Certain people, yes
Stressed? Not so much
Fidgety - no
Ego- a gezunte one

I didn't share it with anyone b/c even if it's muttar, what am I supposed to say? Describing the maaseh is pretty awkward, even w/o the fact that it's wrong (as I realized a few years later)

What does the olam think about making one of the "before" fences listening to chassidishe nigunim for 15 minutes? I get very into them. Especially when there are videos of the Rebbe.
Or 15 minutes of mussar b'hispa'alus?

what you gonna do about the jealousy, anger and ego?

Jealousy- working on it over time. I'm seeing a lot of improvement in this one so far B"H

anger- I don't know. there are certain things about certain people that bother me a lot. (like when someone is inconsiderate on any level at all.) Most of them are my friends and I like them, generally speaking, so I don't say anything because they're very small things. It hasn't interfered with my friendships so much but I get pretty frustrated. It stays inside. which I know isn't healthy.

ego- I feel like, even when I'm humble, I am great because of how humble I'm being. I'm sure this isn't such a rare feeling, right? Also, anyone who's been reading this forum can tell how self-centered I've been in all of my posts, always talking about myself. SPeaking of, how are you guys doing? OK back to me now.

question What exactly does this all have to do with the aveirah? Is it b/c it's from a place of selfishness? Or are we looking for deeper psychological problems? Just getting kind of confused.

pmarlowe wrote:


i don't view this issue as an "aveirah," which it is.

what we are discussin' is step 4.
many have found that actin' out is a way that we selfish people like to behave or escape.
we need to learn how to live life again.
many have said that after a step 4 inventory, it has changed their lives.

b'hatzlachah

Good news. A friend of mine has the white book in hard copy, so b'ezrat Hashem I'm going to start reading it.. Then maybe the step 4 inventory will be clearer