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TOPIC: Game Time? 4358 Views

Re: Game Time? 12 Nov 2014 19:23 #243229

  • cordnoy
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Well, that's the key.
Some type of program to help you deal with the stresses of life.
Many have said that our addiction is the solution, not the problem.
What is the 'problem' that is causin' this solution?

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Game Time? 12 Nov 2014 19:26 #243230

  • pmarlowe
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Many years have gone into this guesstimation: feeling not in control on some vague level
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Game Time? 12 Nov 2014 20:48 #243235

  • cordnoy
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Sorry...I do not understand.

Can you elaborate please?

Thanks
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Game Time? 13 Nov 2014 02:22 #243285

  • gibbor120
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GET BUSY! Especially with things that involve other people. Get out of isolation. Being alone is a big trigger for me, and I try to avoid it as much as possible. My wife was away once for about a week (which is very rare B"H). I made a point of calling or getting together with friends. It worked very well B"H.

The busier you are with good stuff, the better. Do you have any volunteer opportunities? Can you play sports or exercise? Organize all the seforim in your shul/beis medrash... Staying busy makes the battle MUCH easier.
Last Edit: 13 Nov 2014 02:24 by gibbor120.

Re: Game Time? 13 Nov 2014 05:48 #243310

  • pmarlowe
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When I feel like I'm not in control of my life, I look for ways I can be in control. Obviously acting out is only a counterfeit, but regardless that's the why.

Gibor- the problem is there are times when I really do need to be at a computer or by myself, doing work, etc.
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Game Time? 14 Nov 2014 02:25 #243385

  • gibbor120
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pmarlowe wrote:
When I feel like I'm not in control of my life, I look for ways I can be in control. Obviously acting out is only a counterfeit, but regardless that's the why.
Funny how that works, when we feel out of control, we try and get control by doing something out of control . What can help, is learning to let go of control. "Let" G-d be in control. He is in charge, and knows what he is doing .

pmarlowe wrote:
Gibor- the problem is there are times when I really do need to be at a computer or by myself, doing work, etc.
It doesn't sound like you are "doing work" anyway. So, if you are feeling weak, do something else. Maybe call your mom. It's hard to watch porn when you are on the phone with mom .

Re: Game Time? 14 Nov 2014 02:30 #243387

  • MendelZ
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gibbor120 wrote:
Maybe call your mom. It's hard to watch porn when you are on the phone with mom .

Now ain't that the truth!
Cordnoy, this has to go into the Gibbor's insights thread: "Gibbor's sure-fire tactic for staying away from porn..."
אלא יש לו לייחד כל מעשיו לשמו הגדול לבד, ולא ישתף עמו דבר אחר
That's the goal. The key to everything. Working on it, bs"d.

Re: Game Time? 14 Nov 2014 07:13 #243396

  • cordnoy
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MendelZ wrote:
gibbor120 wrote:
Maybe call your mom. It's hard to watch porn when you are on the phone with mom .

Now ain't that the truth!
Cordnoy, this has to go into the Gibbor's insights thread: "Gibbor's sure-fire tactic for staying away from porn..."



I'm not so sure....I did worse recently....
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!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Well, I'm back. 27 Apr 2015 06:02 #253169

  • pmarlowe
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Wow. I didn't even realize how long I've been off the forum.
So what's it been like while I was off? Every day has been a struggle. Sefirah is very helpful as a motivator, after all it really helps with the 'day by day' mehalach.

I made two very positive decisions this week, making my summer and shabbat plans in yeshiva instead of going out where I know I'd encounter triggers.
I bli neder (for now) am planning to try out the Taphsic method, but am at a loss in terms of protective fences. Pushups? A walk?
Two ideas I had are 1) going to a store and 2) learning mishnayot. If anyone has more advice about this inyan I'd really appreciate it.

B'ezrat Hashem we'll all be better soon.
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Well, I'm back. 14 May 2015 19:39 #254718

  • cordnoy
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pmarlowe wrote:
I bli neder (for now) am planning to try out the Taphsic method,


hmmm.....that's a thought.

But anyway, welcome back.
What have you been up to?

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 14 May 2015 19:40 by cordnoy.

Re: Well, I'm back. 02 Jun 2015 01:37 #255814

  • pmarlowe
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The Taphsic method worked for a few days. Then the cravings started to take hold. Unfortunately I didn't make strong enough fences or knas-es so I ended up doing the normal/light/non-heavy knas 3 times and annulling the vow.
I had made it so that beforehand I had to do 150 pushups and look at the emergency pictures, or go to a store ten minutes away and look at the pictures, or call my grandmother and look at the pictures, or go learn 4 daf of chazara in the beit midrash and look at the pictures. The 15o pushups one wasn't too tough for my yetzer hara I guess. I actually liked the store idea, but it didn't happen.

THe after-knas was going to a mikveh and taking a shower in cold water.
Is it worth trying again or should I work on a new mehalach?

Also, I got NetNanny on my phone and will BE"H have it on my laptop in the next day or two. My phone has been Kodesh Kodashim since then. I'm really scared of accountability (just wish I could feel the same about my accountability UPSTAIRS).
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Well, I'm back. 02 Jun 2015 01:45 #255815

  • pmarlowe
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Also, I just understood your point now. That was an excellent observation you made.
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Well, I'm back. 02 Jun 2015 14:11 #255839

  • cordnoy
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pmarlowe wrote:


THe after-knas was going to a mikveh and taking a shower in cold water.
Is it worth trying again or should I work on a new mehalach?



Look back at your history; what do you think?
275 pushups?
$800.00?
walk to the store barefoot and walk back with your pants rolled down?
mikvah with your clothes on?

when will it be strong enough?

for me.....never!

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Well, I'm back. 02 Jun 2015 20:45 #255876

  • pmarlowe
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I think that if I eliminate the pushups I will be more successful. Anyway I should be doing them and I won't feel so bad if I do any reasonable amout, and unreasonable amounts aren't reasonable (i.e. if it would be impossible to keep, I don't want to put it into a shvuah.)

The thing is, I just got netnanny on my laptop. So now all my electronic devices have accountability features with people I actually know as moderators. This leaves me with a question.
Now that all my electronics are fenced, what's the next step? I.E. at this time based on my history, while I'm in yeshiva I shouldn't have an issue anymore- I only struggle when I have active devices with me. But the yetzer hara often isn't that simple, so it seems there are new tests awaiting me. what are they? anyone with past experience, now that I'm filtered what else is there to watch out for?
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי

Re: Well, I'm back. 04 Jun 2015 00:14 #256001

  • pmarlowe
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"Here's what else to watch out for, self. Remember to put NetNanny on ALL your electronic devices. Even your old phones that are in fine condition just a little slow."
THat's right, folks. I had a fall. A pretty heavy one. The yetzzer hara a)reminded me of my old smartphone that could still use wifi b) made the phone strong enough to resist smashing. Gorilla glass.
We see that a) i still need more fences than just a filter b) even if I covered all my bases, I still haven't covered all my bases so there will always be a bechira struggle in the end, no matter how well I set myself up.
Not that these were chiddushim. They were just points I forget from time to time
כֵּלִים רֵקִים, אַל-תַּמְעִיטִי
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