The longest I've gone recently is 2 days. I've been addicted to internet porn for probably over 15 years. Today I start to really try to break away. I know this won't be easy.

My addiction was/is for double those years.
Great to hear about your courage and commitment.
what is it that you will be doin' to aid you on this journey?

b'hatzlachah

Good question. I'm trying to avoid looking at anything that will make me feel lustful. When I have lustful thoughts I am trying to immediately distract myself and redirect them. I am davening to Hashem that He will help take away the lustful thoughts that I am trying to give up. I am trusting that if I make an effort, He will help me. He certainly has helped me in that way in other areas of my life.

I have experience with giving up a different type of addiction, one that was substance-based. What finally worked there was instead of focusing so much on what I'm NOT doing, to focus instead on what I AM doing. I'm trying to apply that to my pornography addiction as well. And what I AM doing is committing 100% of myself to Hashem at all times.

decidingtotry wrote:


would you care to elaborate please on how you were successful?
Thanks

WELCOME!!!!!!!!

Check out the GYE Handbook and Skep's tips

cordnoy wrote:


Sure, since you asked, but fair warning, it's impossible for me to give a short answer. My addiction was to marijuana, which I started using at the very end of highschool/during college. In general it's a much less harmful substance than say, alcohol, but I had an unlimited appetite for it. I was able to function more or less normally (holding down a steady job, etc) and also successfully hide it from everyone I was close to which is one reason why it was hard to fight the addiction - I wasn't ever really going to hit rock bottom in the usual sense. However it was definitely holding me back in many ways, as the effect of chronic use is basically that it makes you feel okay with everything and numb towards your problems. It held me back from growing in many areas of my life. I recognized this and wanted very badly to stop, but it's so easy to get and so easy to use just one more time, that my attempts proved futile.

When I returned to yiddishkeit I had even more of a motivation to stop, because I felt like I was living a lie. The community that had welcomed me and with whom I davened daily would certainly not approve of what I was doing behind closed doors. This gave me additional motivation to stop. The first week or two is always the hardest, even though it's not physically addictive in the way that nicotine, alcohol, or opiates are, I was a heavy user so I experienced quite a bit of difficulty sleeping, lowered appetite, and especially, heightened anxiety and irritability. At the same time, after a few days, life didn't really seem all that different when I wasn't high compared to when I was.

Instead of making a big dramatic attempt to stop like I had in the past, putting a lot of pressure on myself and counting every day like my life depended on it, I diverted my focus to learning, and I also volunteered to lein in my shul. I'm not a very experienced leiner so I had to spend a lot of time preparing, which was perfect for diverting my attention from wanting to use marijuana. Before I knew it, I had a gone a week, and then two weeks, and I was hardly counting days except to mark each successful day. That's what I meant by focusing on what I WAS doing rather than on what I WASN'T doing. Obviously for that to work I had to be extremely motivated to stop and mentally ready to leave it behind. Another difference is that I was much happier with where I was in life compared to previous attempts, so I didn't have the same sense of despair when my "crutch" was gone. Throughout all this I also had the support of an awesome therapist as well as an online forum similar to this one specifically for those wanting to stop marijuana.

A big decision you have taken !
Good luck in your way, and don't forget to take one day at a time, and even take an hour or a minute at a time !

Great comeback ! i congratulate you for your heroic determination to stop your addiction. Lust and Porn might be much harder though for one reason that there is no prohibition in the tora to smoke any type of herbs. Which is not the case with lust and its derivatives the Yezer Hara has much more to gain and it will work hard on your feelings of remorse , despair , sadness and depression.But there is a way out if you tackle the right strategy and do the steps towards your recovery , Behatzlacha !

newaction wrote:


There's no direct prohibition, but smoking anything is not good for your health. Plus anything that allows you to idly sit around and not focus on Torah wouldn't exactly be encouraged by our sages.

But you're right. This is harder.

Hatzlacha raba! Keep on posting, because it's good for you, and it's a chizzuk for everyone else.

I made it through my first day. My record is 2 days so I need to make it through today and tomorrow to set a new record. I've read a lot of posts from people who say they don't like the 90 day chart because they want to focus on each day individually and not feel like they're starting back at zero if they fall because they've made a lot of progress. That makes total sense, but I am very goal oriented, so this works as a motivation for me. At the same time, every day clean IS a success, so if I fall, I will start my count back at zero, but it won't be like I've completely failed and am back to square one, if that makes sense.

I also need to take my own advice that I posted above from when I stopped smoking pot, and not put so much pressure on myself. Last night I actually woke up thinking that I screwed up and had just masturbated, but I quickly realized it was just a dream. That is definitely for me a sign of over-thinking. I need to just live my life as normal, without resorting to lustful thoughts and masturbation as way to relieve stress, but at the same time not constantly thinking about how I can't masturbate anymore. It's definitely a challenge as my mind is conditioned to think about women and sex pretty much constantly. But I am determined to change.

Don't forget to read the white book as well.

Keep up the determination!

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:

Thank you!

Do you mean the handbook?

no; that too

The white book is the manual for SA