I start to fight myself out of this addiction on august 15 on a Friday.

I made a deal with Hashem please help me with an investment.

In exchange.

I will make a "NADER" promise for one week that if I’m going where I shouldn’t go, or visit a website that’s against the Halacha for that week, I will do …...

In exchange I ask you Hashem you should help me with my investment and give me more money.

Since the first week, I start having much more problems, especially with finance I start getting expenses I never dreamed of, I made a small accident that will cost me some other money. In short where I turn myself I’m losing more money.

I went on because I felt closer to Hashem, I felt myself better, and the pain to go against my addiction was passible.

Now a month later, I wasn't helped.

I’m under stress and have nowhere to go to get rid of my stress and I feel like giving up the battle, I don’t have the freshness any more, and it’s hard to go on with the fight, I feel like I’m eating blades, knife, and drinking ez-off.

I still hope for a miracle from Hashem to get through the yomim tovim sober.

Please give me some help

p.s. any idea if it’s allowed to make a “nader” in shabos?

Welcome to this wonderful group of fellows.

There are many tips that you can pick up from this site.

Stick around and you can be helped.

b'hatzlachah

HATZLACHA
what can i say.
i struggle a lot myself.
only by the Grace of Hashem do i stay sober today.

But i have been falling in other areas and im scared.
i try to stay strong but i dont feel strong.
i hope and pray for a brighter future tomorrow.
i have 170 days clean today and have made it to the wall of honor.
u will do better. i am doing better, but i have a lot to grow.
THanks

YairA

WELCOME! Stick around, you'll learn a lot. Read the handbook, try the tools.

Fighting and making deals with Hashem don't seem to cut it for you. You will learn new things here. Things that have worked for people just like you. Keep posting. Many people have been helped. You can be too.

Welcome to GYE!

Who are we to make deals with Hashem?

Hashem gives us so much every single moment, most of which we aren't even aware of. Every breath we take, is given to us by Hashem. Think about the bracha of Asher Yatzar for a few minutes. That we are able to live relatively comfortably despite financial stress, is also a bracha.

If we were to focus on all the good we have in our lives, much of our stress would disappear. Hashem is taking care of us, and He knows what He is doing. He gives us so much, every moment, regardless of how deserving or undeserving we are.

The shoresh of Ahava, love, is Hav, to give. Love is developed and made stronger the more we give. How much Hashem must love us, as from the moment we were born (and even before then), He has constantly been giving to us!

Have a little trust in Hashem. Do for Him, just for the sake of our relationship with Him, as He does for us.

Hatzlacha!

PS. Stay connected and keep on posting!

I was goin' to comment on the "deal" before, but I held back.
Now, that Skep opened it up, I will say mine.

firstly, in general, I think the only time one can make any deal with God is with tzedakah, as it states: Uvechanuni na b'zos.

Secondly, how can you honestly tell God that if He gives you money, you will then do somethin' (you didn't write what) when you go against His Torah? Don't you think He listens to your terms? Why should He go for it? He loves you! That is true regardless. And besides, you are gettin' yourself into a big jam anyway, for how will you know when He keeps His side of the bargain? Perhaps He gave you money and you squandered it? Or maybe, he was about to write you the check when just at that moment, you ate non-kosher, or related lashon hara, or had impure thoughts?

If you'd like to explore the Taphshik method, it is explained on the home page. There are other tools of recovery as well.

Welcome again,

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME!!!!!!!!

before we do anything we must.....TAKE A DEEP BREATH! I don't care whats going on in your life: DEEP BREATH! When our mind is going crazy, no good decision will be made! All relaxed now? I know i am!

Check out: Skep's tips

Welcome Newman to GYE!!

I don't know of anyone who has found the quick fix to our problem, "just do this, and you won't have any more urges", we have found that there is a way that we don't have to give into the urges, but we haven't quite found the way of getting rid of them.

It takes time, so stick around and keep on posting!!!

Welcome NewMan!!!!

We are all looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you around.

I dont have much to add after the earlier posts from the chevrah. All i could say the oilam is great and very helpfull. So don't be a stranger and make yourself at home.

I feel really bad about the struggles you going through may the new year bring much brachah and hatzlacha תחל שנה וברכותיה!!!

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!

First thanks for all of you for the advice and chizuk.

Secondly I would like to take the opportunity, to explain my thoughts.

35 days back I was worse than bad, if at that time Hashem would bang me on the bench, I wouldn’t have on what to complain, all of you would say “eat the consequences of your sins”.

But in contrast the story was that till 35 days back everything was fine, and when I tried to get better everything start going wrong.

I felt like saying to Hashem: If you don’t want to help me, I would except it, but what am I doing wrong right now that it started so much new problems for me, it felt Hashem is sending me a massage, go away and I would stop bothering you, I hate you, I don’t want you should be good.

I said Hashem you don’t have to send me a lot of money, you don’t have to, but please send me a sign that you want me.

I was full pain in my heart, i couldn’t take it anymore.

But I have to report back to you, Friday afternoon I earned a few hundred dollars unexpected, I said thanks Hashem for the massage, I got it.

I hear you and understand your frustrations.

great to hear about your progress.

Your methodology in dealin' with God is a dangerous one. We don't know His ways. We can always accept messages, but we should always accept them for our good. He will never be tellin' you that He hates you for one simple reason....He doesn't. He actually loves you, whichever way you choose.

Continued hatzlachah on your recovery.

Just some interesting point. When i was Hooked on porn i wasted so much time on that instead of working, since i became clean 76 days ago i was able to work like never before.

We tend to use porn/lust as a way to make ourselves feel good and to mask over any negative feelings we may have.

Holding yourself back from your "medication," can force you to deal with issues you've been closing yourself off from.

Does that ring of any truth to you?

this is more than true, I’m felling stress and emptiness, I use to go then to places that I’m ashamed of myself.

do you have any suggestion?

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Repeat.

Everything is going to be ok. Do what you need to do to the best of your ability. Beyond that, trust in Hashem, and realize that what we think is the right way for things to happen, is not necessarily so. We only have a tiny piece (if that much) in a huge jigsaw puzzle. Hashem sees the full picture and knows what's best.

We need to face our issues in life. We can't run away from them, lest they become bigger and bigger issues. Learn to deal with them properly and life will be much happier and easier to deal with.

It's tough at the beginning. Our mind and body go crazy because we've become so used to turning to this stuff for everything. Knowing that we can live without it, and body parts will not fall off if we don't give in, should help, and things will get easier.