I thought the same thing it was almost like a trigger but it was cute

Hi guys i just want to tell you that im doing great. i am happy and feel free. I am getting out of my comfort zone and becoming more normal as we speak

nice to hear from you.
keep up the posting

Thanks for the update!

Are you doing anything different? If not, then do you think that the outcome is going to be different? (I think you've made it two weeks in the past)

KOP!! KOMT!!!

I am a little late to the game.

Just read through the full thread I would like to give you advice that really worked for me I heard that rav nachmen writes this to.

When you go to the bagel store to buy a bagel, and you see that cashier, and its driving you crazy, you start fighting your self to knock out that image of your head, the more you fight the more you're fantasizing and the worse it's getting.
Instead of fighting the thought substitute the thought.

so what do I want cream cheese or lox.

hi guys im so happy to be 12 days clean. I hope to keep it up. thanks for the advice godhelp ill try it out. The rambam says something similar but you are supposed to think of torah

Hi guys i fell on friday afternoon. I was a bit nervous and along with an opportunity i fell. I was strong and got rid of the opportunity right away.
I was driving and i had a hard time with hirhurim. i prayed to hashem and it for sure got less severe.

Sorry to hear about the fall abieham.
driving is tough. hard to find positive things to think about.
keep your chin up

I have bad news. i fell on thursday and then again on sunday night. I closed an app and then found access another way. What am i going to do? i feel that whatever safegaurd i put up is never enough and i am bound to fall again.

How bout get rid of that dangerous gadget altogether. Get yourself a simple kosher phone and live happily ever after.

Hatzlacha

MT

abieham wrote:


Safeguards will not stop you. No safeguard is foolproof. If you are simply relying on safe guards to stop, you are just a time bomb ready to explode.

This was the mistake I made for years before coming here. I would never look at a woman, and never read a book written by a non-jew, and never hear any nivul peh and never smell perfume and never say the word "woman" and never leave the yeshiva building and never leave the beis medrash and never leave my seat and never look up from my gemara...

If you are not working on yourself as a person all the safeguards will be useless and dare I say that you will get worse.

If the focus of your recovery will be personal development - becoming a better person then the safeguards will be more effective.

(It could be that either way a you would be better off without a smartphone but that is a different discussion)

Reallygettingthere---i have been working on all of those things. i pray and pray to hashem and have really improved greatly recently. I am more social and have a better relationship with my family and friends. Just i like to rid myself of the triggers. BTW I plan do this beautiful forum to get rid of my smartphone( which i only had for a month) and use a regular phone. I will hopefully be going to Israel in elul zman so i will be suing just a regular old phone i found. Its a bit annoying because i need to find a charger for it and the internet isn't blocked on it-its a flip phone and you cant filter it but it is better than a smartphone.
Other than that i had a crazy nisayon on erev tisha bav i was on my computer when i realized google was unblocked. I saw that even google images was blocked. I didnt search anything BH and instead went on GYE. Just now i went to block it my mom has the code, and i realized it was blocked already. That was a pure nisayon from Hashem and i didnt fall. That made me really proud.

Guys im sorry to inform you i fell on wednesday night due to my phone. I broke my shvuah and now i owe 150 dollars. I fell a bit and just contunued since i realized i already owed the money. It was really upsetting and so therefore i am selling my stupid smartphone and now have a regular phone. I am blocking the data as we speak . I hope this wil help me.

Dear abieham,

It will help you, but it won't solve the problem!! You have been trying so hard, you've been trying to manage life so that you won't get any urges, but I have learned that that won't work for two reasons. One is that it's impossible to do that, there are triggers everywhere, even in EY (or primarily in EY). Second, The problem isn't on the outside, it's a problem in me, something in me that I need to learn how to cope with, so trying to manage everything outside of me will help, but it won't solve it.

I've asked you many times before, what is your plan? What are you going to do different? Are you ready to face that you have a problem and learn from others how they have learned to deal with it? Are you ready to admit to others that you are human, to admit when you have urges that are stronger than what you can handle?

You can do it!! There is a way!! But don't be insane, don't do the same thing and expect different results!!

It's up to you, nobody can do it for you!! So take the plunge!!

Pidaini i dont understand the questions you are asking me. Do you mean that u should pray and surrender? I am really working on that. I have been doing it lately a lot