Machshovo Tova wrote:


Probably true...and everythin' is God-sent.

But that line of thinkin' doesn't work for me....it will just create thoughts of why is He doin' this to me? Extra desires? And all other questions.

I don't care whp did it to me.....it's my mission to nip it in the bud.....that is if I wanna live.

thanks

b'hatzlachah

Wow... I sign off for a few hours and come back to a miniature SA meeting on my thread Thanks!

There's definitely way too much to comment on right now; I have to read through everything you wrote carefully. Sufficed to say that I'm still clean, and everything you guys mentioned rings true.

Just to clarify: I consider myself powerless over this thing, and I'm pretty squarely in Step 1. The whole biochemical thing is not an excuse, and not something that I think can be beaten. I know this might differ from the thinking of a lot guys here, but I do not differentiate between science and Torah; it's all from HaShem. Seeing my issue in terms of the biochemistry at play does not preclude that HaShem controls everything and exists as the Master of Creation.

That debate -- if it is one at all -- is off topic here. But what matters is that I come off as powerless and accepting in the language of my posts (and everyday conversation), which apparently, I am not doing. So apologies and thank you! I definitely realize that I'm powerless over my addiction, that, in fact, it is a full-blown addiction and not just a, well, hobby, and that only through HaShem can I stay clean.

I'm still clean going into Shabbos today. A lot of hectic preparation today, and not home alone... So no isolation, and no idle time. That combination definitely works, but like others have said, the root of the problem still needs to be addressed.

As for all of the helpful comments yesterday, I can only say that all of you are 100% right, and make very valid points. Just meditating on everyone's advice, even if I'm not capable of understanding it yet, is proving to be a very effective exercise in and of itself. So, again, thank you!

Gut Shabbos!

I'm still clean. Being busy and having guests definitely helped, but I'm also riding a little sobriety high at the moment. That's a nice feeling.

Enjoy it, but be careful because I find that the moment that "high" feeling gets just a little "lower" I find myself desiring a lot.

We have to remember that sobriety is about not acting out, not about great feelings!!

Pidaini wrote:


Yeah, like a disgruntled Shana Rishona-nik once told me: "You get married and you're riding on a cloud. But then you fall down flat on your face."

So I guess the trick in all cases is to keep a proper balance as we walk the tightrope.

Hatzlacha

MT

Pidaini wrote:


A telling sentence.

Sobriety is about "not actin' out."

That might be even if one is strugglin' wit it, but nevertheless, it's still sobriety.

Important note to remember in recovery.

b'hatzlachah

Good points, all of them! Measured enthusiasm, and keeping everything in check. I will be reminding myself of that, definitely, going forward. As usual, thanks!

I agree with everyone BUT there must be a disclaimer. Just Becuase you are on a high today doesn't mean you have to be worried or scared about a low tomorrow. So be carful with being careful.

In fact don't even worry or fret. (There should be a concern that there is potential for you to act out but this shouldn't make you worry)
Just live life and be happy!

Thanks DMS. Still happy, and still clean B"H.

Still clean, and approaching 7 days -- my modest but ever so allusive clean-streak "best". I'm learning, as others have told me, that grandiose goals are a poor substitute for just living day by day, or at times, minute by minute. And I've been doing that.

Great
Thanks for the constant updates.
We are watchin' and are elated with your progress.
It seems that you have the right mindset.
Keep it up!

b'hatzlachah

Thanks for reading my constant updates. Like I said, you guys are all pure inspiration! I know I can't do it without you and HaShem

Keep up the great work!!!

and please do keep up the updates!!!!

Tuesday morning, and still clean. This day in the streak is where I traditionally have some problems holding it together. Seven days is my current streak, and I've been falling shy of that goal, lately, by a day or two. So I'm going to stay especially on guard today, and really beseech HaShem to help me through.