great move ich bin zainer hatzadik!!

keep on posting these kind of posts!!!

i have way to many problems.life sucks for me .life for me is a few ups(very very few) and a ton of downs.ive been clean for 16 days already but not feeling the same good feeling as before.no friends.not close to anyone in my whole life.very low self esteem.emotinal issues social issues etc .i can realy go on for a long time but ill spare you guys.anybody go through similer situation. ibz

Sure life sucks. Life always sucked, I was too busy mastur.... to notice. Now that I've stopped life is bitter, and difficult. Everything is bad, nothing is good.
***

I wonder if I could stop wanting to feel good. Stop expecting to feel good. When I feel bad I won't be disappointed. On the rare occasions when I'll feel good, I'll be pleasantly surprised.
***

You know what, those rare occasions are showing up more and more often. I've egun to really enjoy life.

when you feel it can't get any worse and don't loose yourself thats usually from where it starts getting better be"h.

so keep strong and don't give in you don't know what great wonders hashem has instore for you,

the sedder night is also a great chance to feel your soul being redeemed from it's personal exile so pour your broken heart out to hashem and believe in the nissim hashem is awaiting to confront you with,

chag kosher v'sameach!!!KOT!!!

i fell.after 16 days.its so annoying that i have to start again.it was a high of 2 minutes and a massive regret.i can take 2 roads now.either i can just pick myself up and start again or to feel bad about.i feel that if dont feel bad about it then im not doing a proper teshuva.any thoughts?

don't start again and don't do teshuvah (in that sense); simply make the right decision for this moment.

my mashgiach said many times "more than the yetzer hora wants a person to sin, he wants him to feel depressed afterwards." feeling depressed is the worst. a person can do things while depressed that he never would have imagined doing normally.

More important though IMO is that this is an addiction, nothing to do with teshuvah. the focus should not be about teshuvah, or becoming a big tzaddik,it should be about living properly and being a normal person. of course that starts with not acting out, but there's much more to sobriety than just that.

Sorry to hear IBZ, but ask yourself the question "what will I gain from being sad?"

One of the reasons that I felt sad after falling was because I wanted to change the past, I wanted to feel like a failure. That was all part of me wating to be in control, and being sad that I wasn't able to change the past.

One day at a time!! There is no reason that what happened yesterday has to make any difference in the decisions that I make today. Today I will make the right choices for today, no matter what happened yesterday or two minutes ago.

Just KOT brother!! You deserve to live now and get the most out of!!! (I mean it, you really deserve it, you are not a bad guy, you are a good guy who is learning how to deal with life!!)

A freilechin Yom Tov!!!!!

ive fell like 6 times since i fell.im seriosly considering quiting

AH YID HUT AHMOOL GEZOGT!
a Jew once said

DEE BIST DEPRESSED BIST GEFALLEN?
You're bothered by the fact you fell?

VAHL BIST AZAH OIVED HASHEM?!
Because you love Hashem so much and can't believe you disappointed him?

FARVOOS SHPRINGSTI NISHT VEN HUST GELEIGT TEFILLIN?!
Why don't you jump at the opportunity to lay tefillin?!

In other words, depression after a fall is definitely yetzer hara. If it were yetzer tov, we would be overjoyed at the opportunities to do mitzvos...

a gut moed Ich Bin Zainer!!!

first of all if you give up your going to have to change your name to Ich Bin NISHT Zainer(doesn't sound too grand),

second of all when we left mitzrayim we didn't get clean in one time all we did was see there is a way out then it took us 49 days to make it to matan torah, with many falls on the way like amalek morah etc ,

so lets at least take from the yom tov that we can and that we are zainer and then go onward with getting rid of the impurity,

moadim l'SIMCHAH,

ok guys im oficially gonna start again.thanks all of you for your support.each one of your posts means alot to me.im gonna do this one hour at a time.btw i had a therapy session today and it was a tad more succeful than the previos one so thats some progress right there.i got one question does anyone have a problem where they feel disconnected from themselves and fake themselves to be someone else/better/than who they realy are and then feel a feeling of fakeness.anyway feel much better. and i relized one very important thing today .just give it all :you: got.a kashere pesach

fell aton of times over pesach but im going to try again

thats what its all about

KOMT!!!!!

fell in the morning but im going to try again gonna post every few hours on my progres