i am fighting some strong urges right now i feel like im not getting the most out of life if i cant mast.also question when you get married is your lust satiated

Our problem is that we want to get the most out of life. We never will. The nature of Olam Hazeh is that it cannot satisfy. A human being is in between a malach and an animal. He has a spirit like angel [who is fully spirit] and a body like an animal [who is simply "body"]. The goal is to find the balance where both the body and spirit are satisfied. If we're looking to take out of life we'll never be satisfied, "Yesh lo mane rotze masayim". For a seventeen year old figuring this out the first time, it can be frustrating. But it's fact and we need to accept it. We need to accept a lot of things.

And NO, lust is not satiated after marriage. Marriage simply complicates matters.

how does marridge complicate things?

how doesn't it?

ich bin zainer wrote:


so go masturbate and 5 seconds later realise that you can't get the most out of life if you do masturbate.

that's what I find. my thoughts and feelings towards masturbation couldn't change more from 5 seconds before to 5 seconds after. it's astonishing.

as for marriage - betach baShem v'asay tov!

marriage can really make the whole matter really messy,

why? like pidaini said how doesn't it...
first of all the facing reality that this is a big issue can sometimes only kick in after marriage, because we are telling ourselves for years that all this lusting is because we are missing something in life and defenitly for frum guys we feel deprived in a sense, and many more issues that really are disturbing for married men etc.

but for now thank hashem you made it here at a young age many of us missed that chance so make the best of everything here and KOT!

dd wrote:


I heard that from many people as well, and my reaction was what I wrote here: "A thousand people can mess up their lives until they're thirty five and only I'm not allowed to move on until I recover?" I found this later in The Big Book [Personal Stories pg. 314]: "I felt cheated. All nthe people I saw sitting around the tables of AA had been granted many more years of drinking than I. It just wasn't fair!"

Now as for marriage: A couple of things, right now, when I'm "not in the mood" I can go off and sulk in some corner without affecting anyone [most of the time anyway]. Fter I get married, I won't be able to do that. Right now, when I masturbate, I want to do it again immediately. My wife will not. That could be complicated.
As selfish as I am, my wife has the right to be. How would THAT look?!
Those are enough reasons for marriage not to make it any better, and of course you can get more technical and go into more detail, but that's basically it.

still going strong at 11 days.i went to therapist but i didnt speak about social anxiety but it went okay it was a little letdowm but... thats life. can someone explain to me why i dmt need a kapara (maybe tehillim zugger)

of course you need a kapara, but that aint gonna happen durin' recovery, and imho, you should stop thinkin' about that and several other things.

b'hatzlachah

i relized an amazing chap today.the question we have to ask ourselves is, do i want a life of fleeting pleasure or a life of happyness.*if you work on it* if you sit back and be lazy all day you probably wont be happy* anyway this helped me put things in perspective.

ich bin zainer wrote:

TehillimZugger is on vacation.

whats behind the name tehilim zuger?

ich bin zainer wrote:


a blank, faintly grey computer screen.

i went to the therapist on monday. but i didnt feel like i gained as much as the first time which was the last time i went.any tips on how to gain the most of therapy

these are the lyrics to keep climbing.it realy puts the strugle in perspective.comments welcome.btw keep climbing is the slogan of delta ,my airplanes owner. by Avraham Fried* the best jewish singer*
Keep Climbing
Life is a mountain we must climb
We don’t have forever just the time He gives us
Get to the top if you can
This is the challenge of man
Yes you might fall and tumble down
Sometimes that happens when you dare
Knowing you my child
You’ll pick yourself up and start again from there
(Chorus:)
Keep climbing, don’t let nothing stand in your way
Keep believing, pay no attention to what they say
Up is where you want to go
It’s dark and lonely down below
Keep fighting, this is one fight you won’t regret
Keep believing, you’ve got what it takes now don’t forget
Up is where you belong
It’s where your soul will find her song
Make sure you take one step at a time
Remember that surrender is the road to no end
Be proud of how far you’ve come
You said it couldn’t be done
Dig in and breathe out there’s more to climb
To give up now would be such an awful shame
Give it all you’ve got my child
You don’t want to lose all that you have gained
(Chorus:)
There’s no thrill when standing still
But there is a way when there is a will
Touch the divine!
Continue to climb!
(Chorus:)
...Life is a mountain we must climb!