We all belong there.
אם פגע בך מנוול זה משכהו לבית מדרש

lavi wrote:


...and tov is b'gematria egoz, d'heinu if you're not married you wont be nuts

Lavi, my ADD doesn't allow me to read that just yet, maybe I'll check out sefer "Dor HaMelaktim" on my own...

K, READ IT.
NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
DID NOT ADDRESS WHAT I WROTE AT ALL.
BESIDES, IF YOU WANT TO GO FURTHER, MAYBE IT BELONGS IN BB FORUM.

skeptical wrote:


Spoken like a true Lebavitcher!!

misgaber41 wrote:


I don't know which Beis Medrash you frequent, I would love to join it though, because the one I go to now doesn't look anything like this!!

[quote="lavi" post=238703]!@#$/^7&*8¥() ¥*&^^^^/#@!!~~•○□《♤♢♧♡¤》¡♢♢[♧

:( ♧♡■♡■#¥$£$/%&/"$£÷*#¥$


#¥$£÷#¥#¥£$££% £%/@@
:blink:


₩¥£€_₩₩¥¥¥¥££€_^^$!:woohoo:




_/^##₩$[/quote]

So......having just ingested all that...di shayli is......iz borscht ראוי לאכילת/סיכת/שתיית/כלב??
(Even though Ken zayn az it's a shayla af al pi kein)

Regardin' smokin' her cigarettes......
I didn't look at all the mareh mekomos there, but.....

imho......

TehillimZugger wrote:

spoken like a true addict,
not even finished shana rishoina and already forgot the the rebbes chosson shmooze besheim his shvigger!

hello everybody, I didn't forget about you guys I was just busy doing other things...


I cant recall coming up to post feeling soooo down, sad, annoyed or angry.

Neither do I recall coming on to post without knowing what I'm about to write.

Last but not least never in the past has this happened to me that while I am posting my eyes are getting watery, yes I am really crying.

What happened? whats going on?

Ok, I wont let you in the dark.

As you are all aware, my story is basically posted, I had issues with lots of things, shmiras einayim, videos, fantasies and lust. But there was 1 thing that I never did which was visit a real porn site. I watched bad movies on youtube but not the real stuff.

I signed up last year after sukkus, I found this site to be very helpful. I did fall a few times over the year but none lasted more than a few hours. I would log on in the afternoon by the morning I reset my count and was up again.
I managed to stay clean for 42 days, 65 days, etc. fell for a few hours and back up again.

My last streak was for 132 days when I started my count things were difficult but as I moved on it kept on getting easier and easier bh.

Then summer came along together with a few personal challenges (which I cant put out on post). I felt that hashem was pulling me up to the next level. You made it till here now let me see you go to the next level. It was very hard I managed, with the generous help of many fellow members to hold on strong for a long time.

But that didn't last forever, some time like month ago I started slipping away, the slip turned into a fall. I tried getting back up, but this time it just wasn't going to happen I tried and failed. tried again and failed again, I wasn't seeing any progress. 10 days ago I got a grip of myself and managed to stay clean for a full week, WOW!

Then came my big blow towards the end of the week my urges came back stronger than ever before. To make a long story short Wednesday afternoon I found myself sitting on a REAL porn site for 3 hours straight (didn't even pickup my phone) and Thursday morning the same thing repeated it self for another 3 hours!

Thursday afternoon I toke my laptop in to TAG to put a filter.

What should I say? I haven't had a calm second since, I cant get it to exit my mind! I feel detached, I feel worthless, I made Kiddush Friday night. I held my becher in my hand and felt like what are you doing here? what do you have with such holy things?

I cant recall sleeping as many hours in 1 shabos as I did this week. Neither do I recall feeling so detached a week before Rosh hashona.

enough for now.

RELAX RELAX chaver!!!!

my heart goes out to you seeing the pain your going through. but as dms1234 would say breath deeply in and out....ahhhhhhhhhh ממש א מחיה !!!!!

take it easy....

You mentioned in a earlier post that your thread looks like a beis hamedrash. i think you should apply for the rov/rabbi/rebbe position. not just on your thread but for the site in general. you watched 6 hours of real p***. oy vey!!! i think you deserve the position. what does the oilam say?

i vote for misgaber!!!!

you are being much to tough with yourself (imho).

your doing great and already back to yourself.

what do you have with kiddush please

if you would be right i guess i could totally give up on everything in yiddishkeit.

but once again its the yh talking through a frum costume. give it up and that will be your greatest hachanah for rosh hashanah.

B'SIMCHA and SASSON!!!!

dd wrote:


ok you got me to smile once for today. thanks

the real misgaber is the one who has the 139 day streak proudly displayed by his profile.

I saw in someones quotes aizehu gibor hakovesh es yitzro
not someone who just has smooth sailing, but someone who has to work on it to succeed

Keep On Smiling and Keep On Misgabering

Dd hit the nail on head! It happens, let's move on! When are we speaking next? Message me!