This is my first post.
I heard that this is a great tool on GYE to be able to speak things out with others and work through this struggle with others. So here goes...

I want to grow into the greatest person i could become. Sometimes i feel like I'm growing a lot and then all of a sudden I get punched in the face by the יצר הרע and get knocked down (fall). However, sometimes I knock him down.

I like to view everyday as another round in a boxing match. The reason for this is because there are many rounds to a fight (unlimited back in the day) just as there a lot of days in ones life.

Even if i get knocked down, the match isn't over, i could still win! I could even get knocked down a few times...AND still win the match! (Obviously i don't want to get knocked down at all, because it stinks.)

But if i think about it like this, then i don't get depressed, rather inspired because i realize that all i have to do the is get right back up, protect myself well, and fight back!

I know that i could beat the יצר הרע! This fight might be a life long fight, but as the rounds go on, the more i fight, the more I knock down the יצר הרע, the easier it will get in the later rounds for me to win and the harder it will be for the יצר הרע to knock me down.

If i practice well (= set up גדרים and work on myself), and listen to my coaches (= Obviously the בורא עולם, (and the GYE community)) , then I will win this fight!! We will win this fight!


I hope to post here Iy"h every day or every few days about how my match is going... So let the match begin...

Round 1: To Me!

(For all you boxer guys, I'm using a different scoring system, one point for each round It's just easier to keep track...)

Welcome! You have come to the right place. Can you tell us more about your struggles? How long have you been struggling? How often do you act out? What type of acting out do you do?

Have you read the handbook (I have a link in my signature)? What tools have you tried? Did they work?

Just some questions to get you started.

Welcome and keep on posting!

1. what happens if he wins three rounds in a row?
2. what happens if he hits you in the groin area?
3. is a boxer afraid of losing one round?
4. who keeps score?
5. how many rounds are there?
6. is there a better boxer out there to fight when a winner is finally declared?
7. who is watchin' the fight?
8. where is this fight takin' place; mgm, the grand?
9. what happens when your eyes can't open?
10. after how long is a knockout declared?

perhaps some of these questions will help you; perhaps they wont.

whatever the case, welcome to the rink (and watch your ears at all times...some boxers have been known.....he has even been reported of sending out yesterday "happy new ears day."

b'hatzlachah

Welcome BringingMoshiach613!!!!

It's great to have you aboard!! Skim around, read the handbook, learn about what your problem is.

Your boxing mashal is excellent, if you knew you were getting into a match with someone, you would take the time to learn about him. You would ask previous fighters what his tactics are, learn where his weak points are, which moves he knows how to block and use to his advantage, etc.

That's why this chevra is so important, we can learn everything about our problem from the guys here, because we're all going through the same thing!!

So post away!! Don't be a stranger, open up about the struggle, we're all in the same boat!!

and KOT!!

Wow, a lot of great questions that i have to think a lot about... Hopefully within the week I'll be able to answer all of them...

B"h, the end of the week and Shabbos went well and I think i made an interesting observation that I would love for you guys to help me figure out.

I fell last week wednesday, so since then, it seems like the יצר הרע doesn't fight me at all. It seems like he's not in the ring at all. I would go as far as to say that its almost as if I don't have a תאוה at all. It seems like right now i don't have a יצר הרע for these kinds of things!? The יצר הרע seems to be non existent?!

But I remember from my last streak of sobriety, that the week and a half leading up to my fall were all tough! The יצר הרע was on his game!!

So basically what I'm trying to understand is this phenomenon that the יצר הרע takes a while to kick in? is it possible to use this phenomenon to my advantage in the long run? Meaning, somehow extend this lack of יצר הרע period for a longer amount of time??

Anyway, Round 2 and 3 were b"h great! בעזרת ה׳ we'll make it many more great rounds!

I learned that I had to use those quiet times, I couldn't make them last longer, but I could use them to think clearly about what to do next time he gets into the ring!!

If I don't use the quiet times wisely, I have found that the storm is much harder to push through.

I think the quiet times are a gift from Hashem to allow us time to make a strategy from the facts we ahve learned in all the previous battles.

KOT!! KPOMT!!

That wasn't such an important post that it had to be read twice.

The way to extend those quiet times is to keep having them. The longer you stay clean the less it will attack you. It will still attack, but not as much.

Also my advice in the ring with the yetzer hara is dance. Dance around him, dance away from him, go to the other corner, run out of the ring and go back to your dressing room. If you try to stand there and go blow for blow with him, you will end up on your butt very fast. He is very strong, and has a knack of knowing exactly where your weak points are. It will still occasionally happen that you are forced to confront him head on. In that case bring someone else in the ring with you to help you fight. He doesn't do so well when it is 2 on 1. That other person can be Hashem, a real person in your life, or even a GYE person. Any time you bring in that second person, it makes it so much harder for him to land a blow.

Good luck not having to fight
Eli

Thanks so much Eli. That really makes a lot of sense. But just to clarify and turn the theoretical into practical terms...Does this mean that I should avoid the situations that I had previously fell in? Set up גדרים? Work on my שמירת עינים? etc..??

Also I have one question on this whole idea...

What you are saying is that I should in effect avoid the נסיון at all costs. That I shouldn't fight the יצר הרע, rather avoid him. My one concern with this is as follows: What will the רבונו של עולם say? He is giving me these נסיונות to beat them (i think). But is avoiding the יצר הרע the same thing as overcoming him? Is not losing to him the same as winning? The רמב״ם says that one of the steps of תשובה is to be in the same situation that you previously sinned and then not be עובר on that עבירה the next time. [Meaning, that you have to face it and then beat it!] (I know there are explanations for this רמב״ם but what I'm saying that not losing (i don't think) is the same as winning?)

When הקב״ה asks me how If i passed his tests, i will say I didn't take them...Is that a good answer??? WIll הקב״ה like that?? Will הקב״ה view that as if i defeated the יצר הרע? Will I get the same שכר? Am I getting as just as close to him as I possibly can this way??

[And If the Answer is YES to all of these questions then I'm Totally OK with that, i just want to know if what Im saying is correct or of I'm way off..??]

Rounds 4 & 5 went Super Well B"H!!

Dovid Hamelech asked Hashem for a test. He had the purest of intentions. He wanted to be part of the merkavah... we all know how that ended.

YES, AVOID nisyonos. If Hashem wants you to have a nisayon, he can deliver it to you. There is no need for you to seek it out.

The Gemara has a machlokes whether it would have been better if man were not created. It says they took a vote and decided it would've in fact been better if man were not created, but now that he has been created, let him check his deeds. (loose translation)

Hold on a second. Hashem created the world!?! How can we paskin that it would have been better if Hashem didn't create it?!?

I once heard a beautiful explanation. Hashem created the world for us. From our perspective, of course it's better that the world is created. But what about kavod shomayim??? From Hashem's perspective, for kavod shomayim, it would in fact have been better for the world not to be created.

He created the world for our benefit, and so he created it. He is worried about us.

We, have to be worried about His kavod, and we oftentimes fail.

So yes, maybe for our shleimus, it's better for us to have a nisayon and pass it, but that is Hashem's business, not ours. For Hahem's kavod shomayim it's better to avoid nisyonos and not risk chillul kavod shomayim. That is our business.

We even ask Hashem "v'lo lidei nisayon". We ask Hashem not to give us nisyonos.

So let's do our part, and let Hashem do his.

Make sense?

Muhammed Ali showed how to beat a stronger opponent, go to the ropes, give him a right jabBut al, make fun off him. Hm, I think Dov said it once, that he is not in this world to fight lust.


All the best to You to keep sober today!

Muhammed Ali showed how to beat a stronger opponent, go to the ropes, give him a right jab, make fun off him. Hm, I think Dov said it once, that he is not in this world to fight lust.


All the best to You to keep sober today!

We need to learn from our biggest role model, Yosef Hatzadik. He dropped everything and ran away from the nisayon. And this week's parsha story of splitting the sea was in that merit. So that's the way to go.

MT

I think that gibbor said all that I could say, but I will post anyway because I feel like it.

Yes in short avoid nisyonos. but really what does that mean. You avoiding nisyonos is standing up to nisyonos. It is not like shemirat eynayim is not a goal in and of itself. yes shemirat eynayim can keep you from doing worse things, but just not staring at that pretty girl in the street is standing up to the test.

Think to yourself this, what would give Hashem more nachas ruach, you staring at pretty girls on the street or watching marginally appropriate stuff on the computer and then not masturbating, or you not doing that stuff in the first place.

Lastly, I just want to say that like you I felt that this was a fight that I had to fight and win. I felt that avoiding and asking for help was like giving up my responsibility to fight the yetzer hara that Hashem gave me. I have only been successful in staying clean once I asked for that help from Hashem, and reached out to the people here. I have since learned that this addiction to lust that Hashem has given me, is actually a pathway to let Him into my life, and put my trust totally in Him. That is far more important that any haymaker I can land on the yetzer hara.

Asking Hashem for help and avoiding. MBJ, your words are golden. This is how to remain sober today, thanks.

BM613, all the BEST