Pidiani you hit the nail on the head. I am a lust addict which is why the smaller lust must be avoided. The question I now have is this: Are my sexual lusts connected to me listing for food (which I think I have a problem with?) Interestingly enough I find that the two areas sometimes feed off each other. What do you think?

BTW Day 7 trucking along b"h bli ayin hara. I averted my eyes while driving and while in public places, which is huge for me.

wow wow wow
just keep it up
ur helping us all
thanks

Why not just remind yourself that thinking about lust and fantasy is another part of the Olam HaSheker, and that your relationship with your Eshes Chayil is the source of emotional intimacy?

Sib today I really focused on your advice and it's help me thanks. Day 8 has been busy B"H but I'm afraid that when times slow down over shabbos or might get tough. Question of the day: When I say I'm a lust addict do I mean that I'm addicted to the feeling we refer to as lust, I.e. extremely passionate wanting, or am I addicted to the pleasure that is associated with lust I.e. when you really want and you fantasize you get pleasure (sexually). Which one are we referring to? The wanting or the pleasure?

WoW, you think a lot (does it make a difference?)

regarding your question ealier about food and lust, i don't have experience in that, but from what I've read it makes sense that it is one root. Dov has a peice somewhere defining lust as plain self-centerdness, in us that results in lust, in others in alchohol, in others food, and yet others with mulitple things.

I may be wrong, but since nobody else answered, i thought i'd try.

Thanks pidiani for some reason when I "understand"things I have a better time dealing with them. That said I think for the twelve step program you need to really just take action and not worry so much about how it helps. Wishing everyone a gitten shabbos!!

Quick update: Day ten came and went happily b"h. The crazy thing is that on Shabbos there is a bigger taaveh to let your guard down than during the week. It's scary. Everyone's dressed up and in the streets. It's almost as if the terror hara isv trying to get its to foo aveiros especially on Shabbos (Wait a second.....)

A little background about me (since Until now I haven't had a moment to write anything about myself.) I'm 36 and have been a lust addict for 14 years, eleven odd them married. Unfortunately no kids. I'm a Rosh Kollel and am considered very Choshuv but only I know the deep dark truth. Until now. It's funny how someone who is considered to be very smart can be so incredibly dumb. For years I thought I could beat it on my own but obviously I was so wrong. Besides for the guilt of the terrible aveiros that I have committed I am tormented by the feeling that I'm at fault for my childless state. It is extremely hard to discuss this and this is the first time I ever been open about this. More to follow.....

Kol hakavod for being so open and honest. Please don't be so hard with yourself. We do not understand the cheshbonos of Hashem. Sometimes it actually pays to be (or act) dumb. To just take it a day at a time, to trust in Hashem, to submit to His will, to hope for His help and salvation, to believe He loves us and constantly does what's best for us, to daven to Him privately as a son to his father...

We all have our issues (I speak from personal perspective), and we all need our chizzuk. Chazal tell us - there is no comparison of few that serve Hashem to multitudes. The ko'ach harabim of the GYE community will be"H help us all see the light. Especially as we approach the festival of lights.

Hatzlacha

MT

Hi sirclean,

You ARE very chashuv! Don't be tormented. Hashem has cheshbonos and you have no clue what they are. There are many avaryonim with many children, and many tzadikkim who are childless. Let Hashem do the cheshbonos. The guilt will not help you at all.

Do the things that have helped others to stay clean, and ask Hahshem for help.

Thanks Machshava and Gibbor for the chizuk. Yes I know that we can't know Hashems cheshbones. But sometimes I blame myself anyway even though I shouldn't. Quick update: Recently I had my most trying day yet: My chabura not coming together and some problems one of the yungekeit have been having got me really stressed out, which got new overeating and binging which made me depressed. I really needed a escape. And you know what? The first thing I thought of was What would Pidiani tell me to do right now? What about Gibbor? How would I be able to look at Sib, Dd, machshava tovah? And I pulled through because of the great chizuk that I've gotten here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Wow! That's so gevaldig! We all get chizzuk from your being strong. That's pshat "Chazak chazak venischazeik". May you be like the "mehadrin min hamehadrin" and be "mosif veholeich".

MT

gevaldig sirclean!! your really strong and giving me a great deal of hischazkus . i too am a marbitz torah and feel like a liar or faker . but hashem gives everyone his nisayon that is cut out for him and he can overcome it as well. i really feel bad hearing that my new chaver(you) does not have any children yet may hashem help you in the zchus that your trying to clean yourself witch is the biggest brachah kol tuv and a freilichegah chanuka

keep on posting
ur our role model

Gibbor 120 hit the proverbial nail on the head:

"You ARE very chashuv! Don't be tormented. Hashem has cheshbonos and you have no clue what they are. There are many avaryonim with many children, and many tzadikkim who are childless. Let Hashem do the cheshbonos. The guilt will not help you at all.

Do the things that have helped others to stay clean, and ask Hahshem for help"