8 days! I'm finally stopping (for real this time).

No real plan yet, just been reading a lot on GYE and chatting with people which has been really helpful. Oh, and I don't look at women. It's easier to not look than to look and refrain from acting out (I'm sure every recovering addict knows this but I only realized it recently).

I'm out of my normal routine for a few weeks, hopefully I can keep this up when I go back to my routine.

I need to do something on my phone, and install a filter on my computer. I just don't want somebody else to have my password because from my experience things get blocked that I sometimes need and it's a hock and a half to try to be emailing someone to unblock me. I'll figure something out.
Thanks for your support, people. We can do this.

Hi, welcome Chaver


Looking at women in the street, hm. A though one for me, but I am realizing the same thing as you write. Not looking is not enough, I have to cross to the other side of the street and bless the person I am lusting for.

As Dov writes, it needs to be a real honest blessing, or it just don't work.


All the best to You
Michael

committedjew613 wrote:


I would like to clarify the realization, it is not that it is easier not to act out, but the fact is, by me, that when I look at women THAT is the real "acting out"! Meaning it is then that I am feeding my desire for lust, what happens afterwards is ussually just a consenquence of arousal.

committedjew613 wrote:


Nike says "just do it"!!
and ask yourself if it is that big of a problem to have to ask someone else, is it worth having dangerous devices around? (or maybe it is an excuse to find a lower quality filtering so that "when I really need to I will be able to get around it" [just saying what it was by me until I finally put on VCF])

well...keep the chizuk up

I fell many times, for using the same explanation: "I need certain things."
it's a real commitment that's required.
im speaking to myself mainly.
thanks
[right now, I happen to be staying clean - almost 4 weeks, without the blocking, but that's not the correct method.]

committedjew613 wrote:

Sounds like you are saying "I'm 100% committed!... As long as it's not too inconvenient."

What price is sobriety worth?

You're right! Thanks.

committedjew613 wrote:


If you were my brother I would say,

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life"

But your not my brother so I'll say, "I respectfully disagree"

I think it's a little presumptuous for people to be telling me my intentions. You are wrong, by the way.

Perhaps, but it is possible that "kol negaaim odom roeh chutz m'nigei atzmo"


here's what you wrote in your fisrt post




Why are you so suddenly confident that the yezter hora wont attack you in a moment of weakness?

Sure, after we get caught or experience illness v'chulei we are shocked into behaving, but every single person here can tell you that it doesn't help long term.

Bottom line is you need to decide for yourself,but also need to decide if you can rely on your own judgement.

Peace out bro

Eli

I called you bro cuz we're all brothers

I am not confident at all for the future. I never said I was. You are mixing up two things.
Fact 1: I am not confident in myself for the future, I know I can fall any day.
Fact 2: I am completely sincere today in wanting to stop (doesn't mean I will - see fact 1).

I was taking issue with your presumption that I was lying about fact 2.

committedjew613 wrote:


I wonder how you are doin' Mr. Commit613.

the sentence that I bolded struck a chord with me, but not in the way you intended, and as a matter of fact, exactly the opposite: For me, in recovery, it's easier to look than not to look. To 'not look' requires a struggle, a fight, a battle of sorts, and frankly, one that I have no interest in wagin'. To 'look' and to move on is the way I prefer to go.

I wanted to tell this to my friend 9494 (does he still go by that) today, but he was unavailable for a chit-chat.

I'm not advocatin' to look, but when given the choice, that's the one I'd prefer.