snakeeyes wrote:
I am just not sure how to focus on others when I feel so isolated by my single status.
You wrote that you can't focus on others cuz you are "isolated" by your single status. It sounds like you have a lot of people you can focus on and give to.
Also, you write "and the cycle of depression from single hood makes purity even harder". I'm assuming you had a problem with "purity" for a while, before "depression from single hood" was an issue. It's just adding fuel to the fire so to speak.
Personally, when I was in yeshiva and "had friends", I still felt isolated. I connected to some people here, and I'm able to connect in a way I never had before. I was able to open up and "be real". I didn't have to put up a facade any more. I could say how I really felt without fear of being judged. It allowed me to accept myself as well.
I know that for me "getting out of isolation" was essential for my recovery. You seem to be yearning for a "real" connection which you say can be found only in a wife. Maybe it can be found here with "real" friendship?
Anyway, if I say something that makes sense use it. If it doesn't, then ignore it. I'm just trying to share my experience. Maybe someone else has something smart to say.
