May I ask, why did you only talk to yourself?

Just wondering.

KOMT!!!

Pidaini wrote:


Same reason he doesn't make a Kiddush like you do!

Pidaini wrote:


I had to explain to myself why I wanted to stop, I was getting thoughts that I didn't want to.


Anyway, It was about time someone spoke to me with adoration and respect.

KOT!!!
Nissan is a good time for a fresh chizuk!
you seem to be using it as a learning experience and it is also a lesson and chizuk for all of us.

TehillimZugger wrote:


And then he wonders what he's not doing right?!

Thank you Inna for sharing your fall,

I'm clean, and I'm feeling the overconfident feeling your talking about..
I was just on the way to YouTube to check something out... But decided to delay and first catch up on the forum.

You opened my eyes:
I forgot,
forgot that I'm powerless against a drop of lust,
forgot that I wont be able to hold back once I open the door,
forgot how everything started the past million times..
forgot that a little bit of lust will be the end of my sobriety. Its Poison that will slowly spreads thru the body...


Thanks again Inna, Hatzlacha. The first couple of day are hell I feel for you!

All the best
Avrom



*yes, Ive breached the "no YouTube watching")

hi innastruggle!

how's it going are trucking again?

didn't really hear much from you since the fall

KOT!

yes, Mr.Inna, that statue of yours could use some powerwashing. and the Chofezt Chaim is gonna come to you in a dream one of these days and ask you how come you aren't learning his sefer with me anymore. maybe

Still getting up, I'm on a bad schedule and not being as productive as I should.I just have to get out of this slump and keep going.I'm going to try to learn with all my chavrusos today and use that as the boost I need.


The statue does need a power washing....

It needs a cousstradatical cleaning.

How come you don't call me?

or me?

b'hatzlachah

I understand....

I wasn't interested in doing anything either, not posting, not calling, not emailing, not reading, not making TaPHSiK.

The only thing i was willing to do was to see if I could get myself some sort of schedule, and I wrote down my day during the zman to compare it to my day now...... I then wrote down some things that I wanted to do, some limudim that I really wanted to spend time on. I knew a whole time that I had plenty to learn, "there's a whole bookcase to work through" that's the worst thing to tell me, because I live with the notion that "half measures availed us nothing" so I don't start something I know I'm not going to finish. Other things I didn't want to spend too much time on, so i ended spending no time on everything! When I wrote down all the things, it all got a little more organized and I was able to see what I wanted to spend time on and what I didn't.

It shook me a bit, not to stop watchinig porn, but to start doing something with my day. Yesterday went ok, BH, I think I have strep today, so we'll see how that goes (porn heals strep, right?)

Shimshon, it's up to you!

I'm back on the chart and feeling good about the future.I know that I wasted most of bein hazmanim because of this fall and I hope I learnt something out of it.With Hashem's help it won't happen again.Whatever the case, I'm back on the truck.At least for today.

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

IT'S NOT ABOUT
WIN OR LOSE
CUZ WE ALL LOSE
WHEN WE FOCUS ON BEING CLEAN
KEEP ON LOSING
OBSESSIN OVER ANYTHIN

IN THIS MAZE
YOU LOSE YOUR WAY
your waaay
IT MIGHT DRIVE YOU CRAZY
BUT DON'T LET IT FAZE YOU
NO WAY
NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAY


SOMETIMES IN MY FEARS I DROWN
AND RESENTMENTS PULL ME DOWN
WHEN NEGATIVITY SURROUNDS
I SAY NO! -JUST ONE DAY!
IT ALL TURNS AROUND!
IT'S ALL MY LIFE
THAT I'M WAITING FOR
THAT I'M PRAYING FOR
THINKING OF WHAT PEOPLE SAY
I DON'T WANT TO SET MY SIGHTS NO MORE
HAVE EXPECTATIONS MORE
BE LIKE CHILDREN AT PLAY!

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]

ONE DAY
ONE DAY
ONE DAAAAY

IS THE WAY [harmony: to go]