Broadlife, that's a great list of stuff! thanks

Zvi, i have no idea who you are, but I can completely relate to the self-teasing you've shared about and the uphill battle you are going through.

And most men are all the same in my opinion. There are addicts, and as Dov has said many times they are a small %. Addicts need the 12 steps.
The rest of us may or may not benefit from some of the ideas in 12 steps, but we are all men at the end of the day who have yetzer haras. Hashem gave us this yetzer hara and gave us responsibiity and koach habechira to watch ourselves.

Many famous Jews in our history struggled with taava

Look at the story of shimshon, david hamelech, shlomo hamelech. These jewish giants who achieved prophecy!! still struggled with taava

Addicts are a unique case. I don't know if you are an addict, but you are a man so this is a natural struggle at the very least.

GYE says that the first step is to STOP.

In tandem with that, I would suggest that another important first step is to stay calm. That's what Dov told me a while back, and its simple advice with a lot of emes.

That sounds so simple. But staying calm is no simple anything. In fact, i think that staying calm is the very essence of our struggles. Addicts and lusters alike.

So try this. The next time you want to act out, tease yourself, masturbate, watch porn etc...

Take a second and close your eyes and try to just calm yourself. Lie down, or go outside.

Try to completely calm yourself. That's all. Dont focus on anything else except the idea of staying calm --- then let that flow into STOPPING.

just an idea.



zvi wrote:

Still clean, and interestingly, no serious challenges since Sunday. And the reason why is staring out at me in the face. I've been busy. Schoolwork, this, that, the other- I haven't really had much spare time since Sunday. Because it's boredom, I've discovered, that leads to a lot of my falls. It's when I have nothing to do, and I'm sitting in front of my computer, and I decide "hmmm, lets have a look at this webpage. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it..." Then it all goes downhill from there. However, most of this week I haven't had much free time, and hence I've stayed clean. Of course, this won't last forever, and there will be days in the very near future, when I've finished my exams for this year, and I'll have two weeks of holiday in front of me before I go back to school... I've already taken on about 4 different projects of stuff I enjoy doing to keep me busy, and there's plenty of kosher stuff to do out there... IYH hakol yihyeh beseder!

very true.

zvi wrote:


As the Gemara (Sukkah 52a) says: The YH is at first as thin as a (spider's) WEB, but at the end he becomes like a thick rope that can pull wagons.

Hatzlacha

MT

Over 7 days clean!

WTG KUTGW KOMT!!!!

with hashem on your side!

broadlife wrote:

Of course!

And today is the best day of them all to be clean!

Still clean... nearly 10 days b'H! Yesterday wasn't easy- the taivos came on, and I has schoolwork to do (exams in 3 weeks). So on the advice of my Rebbi, I worked with my bedroom door open, and it worked wonders! The fear of being caught meant I didn't dare do anything, and it passed quite quickly. Thank you Hashem, for each and every day...

zvi wrote:


Sounds like Hashem is becoming much more part of the picture in a real way.
Keep going brotherB)

And practical life changes can really work wonders! I totally agree.

What else do you think (practically) will help you if you make certain adjustments/changes? You don't have to share, but its very healthy to think about that.

I don't mind sharing... I want to start jogging at some point in the near future, probably after my exams. I also need to find something to do, to think about, to be invlolved in as much as possible, to take my mind off it. I'm quite busy for a 16 year old already as it is, but I need something else... any suggestions?

Why not start jogging before the exams. Even twenty minutes three times a week will make a big difference.

I started jogging a few months ago and I really sense a difference.

I sleep better. I have more patience. I feel like i can concentrate better.

and I dropped a few "extra pounds"

12 days bechasdei Hashem! Each day I'm clean, the more everything seems to start clicking into place. When I was clean for 66 days a few months ago, I wasn't putting in any particular effort. I didn't watch my eyes particularly, and it was a lot easier because it was winter. Now, it's relatively hot outside, and the pritzus on the street has shot up like crazy. Although it's not perfect, my shemiras ainayim is definitely improving, with the help of the Ribono Shel Olam.
An idea for the oylam before shabbos. I heard this this morning from Rav Zev Leff shlita, who's currently visiting where I live. He was talking about sefiras ha'omer and the difference between humans and animals. In his shiur, he slipped in a beautiful idea. We say every morning: U'mosar ha'adam min habehaima ayin, normally translated as "And the difference between a man and an animal is nothing." However, Rav Leff 'tyched' it as: "And the difference between a man and an animal is ayin- the ability to say no." THAT'S what makes us human! That's what Rav Leff said. Now here comes my own diyuk into his words:
For all of us here on GYE, saying no is difficult. Very difficult. When the pull to m*** comes, there's nothing we can do. Or is there? We can daven. We can turn Hashem and say: "Ribono Shel Olam, you didn't make me an animal, you made me a human. If I'm a human, I should be able to say no, and not do this thing! Please help me to do that."
Have an amazing Shabbos!