I am aware that if a person keeps breaking sobriety than he aint sober ....i am just trying to keep positive on what i did do ......or negative feelings about all my falls will overwhelm me

I have decided
.....for as long as my attention will hold .....
that maybe if i try everyday to write alittle i wont feel soo bad ....

Even though i spend most of my time with my family i constantly feel alone ..

After nearly 10 years i still have trouble understanding family dynamic and standards

Call someone. U can also call into the GYE conference call numbers and someone can meet y0u there any time I think

sometimes i read back on this thread and i sort of remember the situations that gave rise to the older posts ....and i realize how much more there was to deal with ......everyday i sort of try to think in terms of " nu sure there was alot going on but from today what can i do" even though i feel the weight of responsibility for everything that happens around me ...

Even alot of the things i have worked on for my life might not be possible or relevant i dont give up .....must be a stubburness thing

I have been having ....sooo ....much problems ....makes all my past struggles look like cake .......i feel very disheartened ......i can do it if i learn from my past and just stay away from lust untill i have time to connect with people

there is no problem that lust won't make worse

You should try opening up to someone.

Yesterday i was on a phone conference
....yay ....i have been having a real sleeping problem....in that i dont sleep at night enough but in the day i crash.....and i try to fight it


Good news i bought new teffilin ....and a new case.....

laughingman wrote:


good stuff!
What did you learn?
Mazel tov on the new purchase!
May you be zoche to be mekayem this mitzvah and many more mitzvos and have nachas from your entire family.

First i started to learn the way these meetings work .....

Now i hope to learn these steps

Oppressive heat wave ....since 2 weeks now .....but at least not as bad as iran has it now .....

I have been learning alot more about myself lately ....how i really think under all my self ......my mind many times feels like a tornado of thoughts ....and how much pretense went into my lusting .....i dont know if i hadnt been exposed early on if i would be soo unrealistic as i was for a long time .....the p***system really does try to convince you that all there is is your lust and that you and everyone should and can feed it a never ending buffet of what is analogous to a super high fat diet ....that like real food will soon make your heart explode if followed unchecked .....and the worst part is there are people who are payed to give out this message....and they work relentlessly on it ....so too i/we must never stop staying away from them and their *******

What can i tell someone who feels negative towards G-d

Terrible things happened in my marriage recently .....at least how i see it .....i dont know what to do .....my wife is really upset ....maybe forever

We all feel your pain! Hope things get better soon... keep us posted!

At least now keeping clean will be easier

laughingman wrote:


Be strong....whatever it is that's goin' on.