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laughingman tries to count to 90........
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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.

TOPIC: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 57069 Views

laughingman tries to count to 90........ 14 Mar 2013 16:01 #203536

  • laughingman
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as of today all my posts are here as far as my own topics are concerned

i have had 2 falls but i am now a week into a new streak

i have had success in breaking some previously unbreakable habits

not m******* habits ...thoses i have dealt with somewhat but even farther

as a result of the rules that i follow through the 90 days and though i have slips about once in 2-3 days every day foward breaks that tooo down so that it becomes less frequent ....and eventually non-existent

i recently got the s3 and i have had soo far Thank G-d no desire to sttempt to use it for searching ****

i personnaly dont use software barriers for myself (for my kids i do of course)

i can break them too easy ...the only way out is personal honesty

as all of these things are for now personal actions

and it is working ...hopefully it will continue though im sure the real war is coming

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 28 Mar 2013 22:21 #204056

  • laughingman
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Had a slip today ....i am not going to registerit as a fall for ttechnicality but this is my last strike for myself i am being very strict on myself and this is my first instance of this issue but it wasnt technically a fall soo yeah ... if someone wantw to input on this

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 30 Mar 2013 22:27 #204106

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Fell ....like a stone off a high mountain......ill wait till isru chag to update .....if i survive till then ....whenever ii falll horrible things befall my family

I knew this and still fell .....i have failed ....


I feeel soooo super deppressed and its chag.....i fell on chag on the omer when im supposed to be getting spiritually perfect too receive the torah....iim not worthy to receive a fist.....can someone pray for me for heavenly mercy

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 31 Mar 2013 05:21 #204115

  • inastruggle
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every fall is just the start of a new streak, so just focus on making this one "the one"

and being depressed isn't good but at least that's the way you feel, what scares me is that whenever i fall, for a long while already i don't even feel bad. It's just knowing intellectually that i did something wrong.

anyway kot and hatzlacha
Last Edit: 31 Mar 2013 05:26 by inastruggle.

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 15 Apr 2013 18:13 #205133

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had a slippy time recently ...luckily no falls ....G-d seems to be pulling al the stops to help me break my addictions even against my own

today i had a slip and one of my phones was broken almost immediatly

not irreperable damage but itll cost me just like my slips cost me spiritually

for the most part my life seems stable and possibly can be better but the potential for failure is high and any failure can spell tremendous pain for others who depends on me for their needs

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 21 Apr 2013 00:49 #205645

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Had a decent enough week...despite all the agravtion.....fiinancialwoes abound and that usually spells trigger tiime so i cut myself alot of slack iin the slip department though i have a no tolerance policy on out right falls ....slips i consider to be more of a eye of beholder thing but dont think this is where i get too sure of myself i know not to let things get out of hand i have come too far to break now completly i havent looked at anything p****ish or done anything close to m**********" up tiill now and ii dont plan to....though i learn from each slip that the rabbis all are right and they had us in mind too when they ruled in the gemara how they did .....

I will fight without fighting and with G-ds help win cause i have no strength but him

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 21 Apr 2013 15:54 #205679

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today again i had some slips ...thank G-d with time they are becoming less frequent and less worrysome ...not to say im not worried at all but even here there is more progress although each slip itself is indication to me that the problem is far from gone .....but i am very aware that progress was made and i dont want to let depression ...which for me is everpresent break down my progress by causing a slip to become a fall ....just like on the street a man or woman slips and tries to catch himself and no fall comepletely into the dirt but the slip might cause a dislocation on its own but a person needs to charge on or he will fall ......i am talking to myself ....i feel actually terrible that i am not perfected yet ......but i am also not where i was before i used to fall like a man without legs G-d forbid ....but i see a miracle that a man with no legs in a certain situation can grow them .....miracle of miracles...................that someone can pull themselves up from the pit witrh His help and mercy just like the jews in egypt who were on the lowest level and in 50 days reached the level to hear G-ds voice......may we all merit that ourselves soon

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 25 Apr 2013 23:15 #205988

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Slipping G-d willing is going to be extinct soon though my cravings sometimes cause my gril tooosen especiallu
Y in light of the pressures of he last few weeks (my wife has been ill for nearly two months now .....no diagnosis)
Amy commitment not to look at * and not to have a physical fall remain so far

Its been super tough i am breaking free though and i know a fall would be very difficult to overcome now but i am not letting thatphase me

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 02 May 2013 02:42 #206409

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Decided that i can no longer tolerate my rate of lapses and counted it as a fall... i was only looking at things...thank G-d nothing else happened ....but i felt that in the interst of being true here and that i would rather feel the sting of this problemin losing my status here then otherwise i counted the fall ....i will G-d willing return to counting from after shabbat ...though i am proud that this is the first fall i have had that was not a result of physical failure but more of a mental one but i am going to go through all the things i normally do for a physical fall now to enharden myself against this now so that soon i will be free of this problem too....i dont want to fall to depression....after all i just lost a month or streak

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 02 May 2013 02:55 #206412

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laughingman wrote:
Decided that i can no longer tolerate my rate of lapses after all i just lost a month or streak


You never lose progress. Every day you don't look at porn makes you stronger. Every time you use your self-control muscles they get stronger. Every day with no porn is a success.

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 13 May 2013 23:31 #207163

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Started slipping again....this after a whole morning of pleading for help from above ....i did stop before i saw anything i would need to count as a fall ....now i even count suggestables as a fall...."make a fence for yourself " this seems to be one of my hardest tests religiously speakng ....so visual lust is my test ......i must overcome it....its almost shavuos and im not ready to receive the torah .....but i will because He wants so i must maybe tikun shavuos will help me in my quest to completely reverse years of bad influence

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 14 May 2013 18:49 #207204

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I don't think the yidden in the midbar were ready to ba mekabel it either...
it was more of a gift from hashem.

but do yourself a favour, and try to identify particular triggers, ie. going past a certain establishment, reading up on celebrities, watching TV and movies, reading certain literature, and make your fences a few steps back from around those things, perhaps with a taphsic style kabala...

also ask hashem constantly to help you and give you siyata dishmaya...

Happy Pentacost!

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 22 May 2013 15:09 #207530

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ive not been online in a while ...well not using my computer ..........but not without some close calls i have been refusing the yetzers advances one problem at a time ....not following links .............not continuing wrong searches ......not looking at mis -dressed women ............and more like this are happening each day and for that i am grateful to be back at stage 3 .......... i have much road to travel .........i still have a dire situation but i think it coulD be solved so G-d willing ... i need prayers ..........and blessing

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 07 Jun 2013 00:11 #208568

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Havent bloggd on here in nearly three weeks.....
I have had a really hard road and i deffinitly feel the changes ...while im not finished yet...i mean i still slip here and there falls (even my new deffinition...which fyi is more strict then the site puts out )

I really do see and feel free-er from lust

Ifeel less in need of it and when i do slip i bounce away faster and moredeliberatly

Like i said im not at the top yet but i havent had what i feel is a fall for me (also more strict then the site) innearly a month and a half

And havent had a m******** in nearly 4 months..

Re: laughingman tries to count to 90........ 07 Jun 2013 00:53 #208573

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KUTGW WOOHOOOOO
Last Edit: 07 Jun 2013 00:53 by inastruggle.
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