pischoshelmachat


Jack

So another week goes by and I have still not dragged myself to a real life SA meeting. Wednesday night is the night I need to go. I know that I need to go to maintain my sobriety, (or maybe not). I want to stay sober no matter what. How do I get myself to go?

Ah; don't bother....is your life worth it?

JUST DO IT!

A gutte voch.
Another wonderful Shabbos and now another challenging week. HKBH please be at my side and protect me from lust.

pischoshelmachat wrote:

If you believe you need to go - then what's stopping you? On one hand you can stay sober- on the other you could chas v'shalom fall and you won't even have an excuse- 'cause you admitted you needed to go.

Just go man!
For your sake(and our sake and all the wonderful people that love you)

pischoshelmachat wrote:

Amen.
קרוב ד' לכל קוראיו

So, Are we on for this Wed night?

To Go or Not To Go, That is the question.
Thank you all for your chizzuk. As I struggle inside trying to motivate myself to go, I will try to articulate my inner struggle. I know that I am at a point in my life of Im Lo Achshov Aimosai. If I don't get long term sobriety now, I will probably never be sober and I will die with this dirty secret a half and a broken person. I might be able to stay sober without going to meetings as many of you have told me that have long term sobriety without meetings...but maybe not. Dov has long term sobriety which corresponds to his attending meetings. As the mesilas yeshorim teaches us to follow the instructions of those who have already successfully exited the corn maze who know the way. All my friends here who "know the way" are guiding me down this path. I feel the limitations of an anonymous telephone sponsor and know that I need the accountability that only a face to face sponsor can give me. I need to work the steps with the guidance of a real live sponsor. I know how deficient I am and how much step 4 I need and dread. I know that my mind is no longer a sharp as it once was and that I have lost the ability to concentrate and focus on learning and work due to the numbing affect of porn. I find myself struggling to stumble through the day and trying to be effective. I know the step work will help me get my sanity and focus back and will give me the tools to be motivated and successful at home, work and in the bais medrash.
BUT I am lazy to go, afraid to be discovered, and terrified to really look into myself and face who I am, and how I have wasted and damaged my inner talents. I am afraid of this overwhelming change of direction that I am facing, I am afraid of how my wife will perceive me as the "addict kook" who needs these programs and is not a normal person and husband.
What will become of me?

If you are afraid to go to meetings, but are also afraid not to go to meetings, why not consider going to a therapist who specializes in addictions?

I can possibly refer you to one.

I would rather go to a meeting. The thought of going to a therapist makes me feel very uncomfortable.

bli neder, I will text you tomorrow once or twice.

So what! You won't see anything negative in yourself that you don't already know deep down. You might even discover some positive things in yourself that you hadn't realized. We all know that there is a lot of positive in you to see.

The bottom line is, like we say here all of the time, don't think about next week, not even the next day, (Thursday), just go once. Big deal. What can you lose by going once. You can never go back again if you so decide. I'm sure none of those scary things you described above will happen just by going once. Put on a different hat, button your coat all of the way up, and go. You never know, you might even meet one of us GYE guys there..

(Remember, sometimes opportunities in life, only come around once..)

Oy Vey
The excuses are starting already. I think I just gotta get up and go.

Sounds good, but the door might not be open yet if you go now...