mazel tov.


zulst hubben asach yiddish nachas

OOOIINNKKKKK..... sorry, it has a lasting affect.


So I had an interesting day, started out with a Bris (Mazal Tov!!!), and my inlaws came in for it. for some reason even after i slept off the lost sleep, I had this urge, yeah....that one...

I realized that my last fall also came right after my inlaws had left, something is amiss

so i asked skep, and he pinpointed it right away, insecurity of ME!! which is interesting because in the shiur from Rabbi Akiva Tatz he makes the observation that nisyonos come to a person when they have a moment of doubt of who they really are. so that was it, for some reason (even though they are the nicest people) my inlaws bring out some sort of insecurity of who I should be. and therefore the need to set life into motion .

I'm still somewhere in between the problem and the solution, so anyone who can type it for me it would be greatly appreciated.

have a great Shabbos!!

Pidaini wrote:



It's ok you can be honest here. You're anonymous (besides when someone guesses your name).
If you aren't going to be honest here then we can't help you.

It was (is) one of those days. He (YH ) decided that Ohr L'yom was the time to start, baby kept me up until like three (don't forget that my inlaws are here, just to add to the hAlt), and when I woke up there was that BLACK cloud, I spent a lot of time thinking about what has been for me the most helpful point[s], living in the moment, and that I am exactly where i was supposed to be (we'll get to those soon). There is a Tefilah from the Ohr Lashamyim in which we ask Hashem to help us remember that we are only in His hands (see attatchment), said that with a lot of feeling.

Morning was a blur, afternoon started trying to get around filter, called TZ and told him to get over as quickly as possible, which he did, BH. Seeing real people who know exactly what you are going through is amazing, not that I know why, but BH I feel much better.

great to hear that you used all the right tools to knock that y"h upside the head

one of these days, youll knock him down for a "10 count."

mr. emunah, gibbor, can we get the y"h in a cage match, five rounds, us as a tag team against him? Brazil, Motzei Shabbos, Fight of the World, Dov and his men against....!!!!!

and now for what has helped me until now: (thanks inna for the idea)

1 and 2 (I think they come hand in hand with each other)

no specific order

1) One moment at a time!!!

2) I am exactly where I am SUPPOSED to be!!

I'll try expounding at a more quiet time.

sorry just had an epiphany,

I mentioned before that I don't know why seeing someone real makes a difference, and I just thought of a p'shat.

As mentioned, Rabbi Akiva Tatz observes that the oppertune time for the YH to wage war is when a person is in doubt about where he is in life, and what exactly he is about. For some reason there are times when we are around other people (namely my inlaws, even though they do not do anything to provoke such nonsense) we get a sudden pressure of what we are supposed to be and what we aren't. it makes an emotional vacume, that needs to be satiated.

So TZ comes over. He knows me, he knows who I am where I am holding right now, both my struggles and my feats, and he shows me that I am perfectly fine just where I am, that shuts the vacume takes away the instablity, and sets me back on my feet.

Just a thought, and another big Thank you for TZ.

TZ makes it EZ!
TZ makes it EZ!
TZ makes it EZ!
yeah!

cordnoy wrote:

I'll only agree to a cage match on condition the Y"H is in one cage and I am in another cage that is in another building, in another country, on another continent (preferably the Antartctica where everyone dresses b'tzniyus) .

No fighting of the Y"H allowed! I can't fight a malach, can you???

good word: epiphony

just some thoughts, not particularly in any specific order.

One moment at a time, for me (please put that in very frequently), means not thinking about the past (fairly easy) nor about the future (hard). The only thing I need to worry about is what I can change, and the only thing I can affect is the present. (not to mean that i shouldn't make boundries for the future, because if what I can do now will for cetainbe a change in the future then it is really a part of now, not part of the future-if that makes any sense). that takes away a thought that used to come to me very often "you can't continue living with this crazy temptation forever anyway", I now answer it, "that's not my problem right now, when I get to forever I'll deal with it". It has helped in so many other areas as well, not to get upset at things that people did, or things that happened, "what can I do NOW about it?." it's a life saver (for me).

But I found that it only works with acceptance of the fact that I didn't put myself where I am at the moment. Hashem creates the world every second, and He puts me in this situation, with all the memories that I have, with all the emotions inside of me, with all the people around me. right now this is EXACTLY what I am supposed to be dealing with. and just as I will never understand why my hair is the color that it is, so too I may not understand why "I tried so hard, why is this happening to me?". but I know that that is not relevant to anything, it is not by accident and it is not mean, all I need to know is that where I am is the correct, nice, good, place for me.

That's all for now folks, thanks for listening and for thoughts (or arguments)!

good stuff you got there!

i do have an argument though
Pidaini wrote:

if you dye your hair it usually matches the color shown on the package. was that not explained to you?

ZemirosShabbos wrote:

Actually, it usually matches a more shvache version of what is shown on the package. On the package they use actual paint.

Yep yep yep.

As they say: למה יאמרו בגוים - to ask why is a goyishe inyan. The only thing we need to know that Hashem knows better. I really like the comparison to hair color. It should concern me why I have the struggle I do as much as why I have certain hair color. Simple as that.

(Btw, you have blue hair or something? - you must have realized you would bring on an onslaught of hair color jokes...)

FOR ME it made a huge difference when I realized how clear it was that I stumbled on shmutz and self-pleasure through no fault of my own and had no one to talk to about how to get out at an early stage which brought me to where I am today. There is no doubt in my mind that the RBSHO wanted me to serve Him from mitoch the darkness. Hence, He clearly knows why but its not my eisek. Not that it excuses my actions but the notion that I could have or should have had a different situation is ridiculous. I just have to do what He wants of me today, in this moment. (Please, RBSHO, help me remember that last point!)

MendelZ wrote:

I never heard anyone say that, but I LIKE it!