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My life, my struggle, my triumph

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: My life, my struggle, my triumph 4597 Views

Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 06 Dec 2011 19:16 #127848

gevura shebyesod
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Stoppingforever wrote on 06 Dec 2011 04:12:

It's amazing what Shabbos does. I hybernate on Shabbos, daven, study.. And then comes Sunday.. Followed by .... Monday.. It's challenging for one reason. The security of the home base helps me forget and .. Lower my defenses, so returning to the mundane comes with shell shock.

Today was certainly easier than last week. There is another guy, this YH is next to me at the office.. BH was able to avoid looking the entire day. Very difficult, but I guess doable.

Been there, done that, got a closet full of T-shirts.....

One of the convoluted (i)logical arguments of my YH goes like this: when I am strong and resilient, i simply prove that I'm able to, and will then be punished for all the times I did not stand strong...

I struggle with this all the time too. One of the YH's biggest weapons is to use perfectionism against us. If we are not perfect we get depressed and think all our effort is not worth anything. Someone has a whole thread about this going on, I forget who and where (and i'm too lazy to go find it right now).

Hashem does not expect us to be perfect and to win every time. He knows that we are human and how difficult our battle is, He made us, didn't he? All He wants is a genuine desire to improve, and honest effort. And each test is different, some are more difficult than others.

"Lo Alecha hamelacha Ligmor..."

Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

KOMT!!!!

Gevura!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 06 Dec 2011 19:30 #127850

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Gevura ShebYesod wrote on 06 Dec 2011 19:16: Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. "good" quote.
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 06 Dec 2011 20:04 #127854

Pure yid Current streak: 76 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 92 Karma: 0	I find Shabbos even harder. Sometimes.
	Keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it. Last Edit: by .

Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 07 Dec 2011 18:15 #127977

Dov
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Your thinking is exactly how you ended up this screwed up. It is not your friend. You think too much. Let it go. Arguing is not the derech. I do the same thing. So I need to be like Chushim ben Dan. Do you know how he responded to his uncle Eisav at m'oras hamachpeilah?

He was deaf.

So while the other Shivtei Kah (all great tzadddikim, greater in many ways than Rav Elyashiv and the Chofetz Chayim) were standing around and "dealing" with Eisav and his arguments in a mature and sensible way....Chushim who could not hear, saw it all for what it was: nothing but more BS from a rosho.

He took up his weapon and knocked Eisav's head clean off.

Problem eliminated.

The only humble way to deal with it.

If you are an addict like me, then most arguments (especially the ones in our heads) do not need to be won and most problems do not need to be worked out. Surrendr is the way. Letting go and leaving such discussions to those more qualified than me, is what I need to do.

It takes some humility rather than pride, and some ability to tolerate a touch of discomfort rather than being a baby. But hey, I can use some exercising of those good muscles as much as anyone does!

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 07 Dec 2011 18:26 #127982

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	dov wrote on 07 Dec 2011 18:15: But hey, I can use some exercising of those good muscles as much as anyone does! Just follow my avatar .
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 11 Dec 2011 06:08 #128281

StoppingForever Current streak: 132 days OFFLINE Junior Boarder Who is strong? He who restrains his impulse Posts: 35 Karma: 0	20 days! Knowing that I keep checking back and publicly reporting progress is an exceptional tool for me. It is getting easier. Having to check back protects me of complacency. Thank you all for your chizzuk and prayers. Chazak, SF
	Only the arrogant can humble themselves, only dishonest can turn honest. Only the ill can be healed, only the fallen can rise from the ashes. I AM DETERMINED LIKE CRAZY! AND WITH THE HELP OF HASHEM NOTHING WILL STOP ME. NOTHING IN THE WORLD Last Edit: by .

Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 11 Dec 2011 06:30 #128282

gevura shebyesod
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Ur doing great!

KOMT!!!!

Gevura!

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 11 Dec 2011 14:20 #128295

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Scroll to the top of your screen and take a look at the guy in the left corner. That's the life of an addict in recovery. Can this guy ever afford to become complacent? You've got the right idea! Shteig on!
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 11 Dec 2011 15:23 #128302

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	KUTGW Stopping! KOT!
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 27 Dec 2011 13:37 #129320

StoppingForever
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I thank Hashem for my 36th day, and I thank you for being his holy messengers, I could not have gotten this far without your prayers and support. Great things are happening in my life as a result.

To all strugglers, the gain of ending the craziness is worth the pain! trust me, the pain I suffered was really tough (read the thread), and the gain now is phenomenal.

Heartfelt Thanks, to each and every one of you. Looking ahead!

Only the arrogant can humble themselves, only dishonest can turn honest.

Only the ill can be healed, only the fallen can rise from the ashes.

I AM DETERMINED LIKE CRAZY! AND WITH THE HELP OF HASHEM NOTHING WILL STOP ME. NOTHING IN THE WORLD

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 27 Dec 2011 16:44 #129345

gevura shebyesod
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You are a "Lamed Vov Tzaddik"! ;D

KUTGW!!!

Gevura!

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 28 Dec 2011 16:30 #129429

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	Your success is giving all of us chizuk. If you can do this, with all you lived through, then anyone can! Thank you!
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 17 Jan 2012 08:53 #130972

StoppingForever
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57 days! I'm happy, but not satisfied. I think we should never be satisfied, 'sumach bechelko' is good for material possessions, not for spiritual growth.

I had some challenges around day 50, I won the challenges and moved on. Being on the chart definitely helped.

The interesting thing is that my traumas are almost a relic of the past. I rarely think about it. Wherein the past I thought about it daily.

Thank you all for your continued chizuk and prayers.

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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 17 Jan 2012 14:35 #130980

KEEPSTRONG Current streak: 2 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 11 Karma: 0	Stopping Forever. You are really mechazek me because I can relate to your story totally, being that its simmilar to mine. Hatzlacha. Thanx tons.
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Re: My life, my struggle, my triumph 17 Jan 2012 15:22 #130983

gibbor120
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Stoppingforever wrote on 17 Jan 2012 08:53:

57 days! I'm happy, but not satisfied. I think we should never be satisfied, 'sumach bechelko' is good for material possessions, not for spiritual growth.

Mazal tov on the 57. I have heard and seen in seforim that samayach bechelko applies to ruchniyus as well. Anyone have a mekor? I think zemmy posted one once.

For your 57.... You'll have to ask the mashgiach if it has a good hechsher