hi everybody-
when i log in, at the top of the page, it says 'hi,jack'! i hope i'm not arrested!
anyway, thanks for your good wishes!! those words are worth millions to me! and believe me, i could use millions.i feel like i just won the lottery-

jack wrote:

Just don't log in at the airport . Oh, and don't talk to kabbalists there either .

Hi Jack!

ok, maybe it's time to reach out again.6 years ago, when this site was < 1 year old, i found it and got great support from everybody.i went through absolute torture trying to stay clean, and it worked for about 4 years.then i relapsed, and i started climbing my way back.and i'm really doing much, much better. but what worked for me back then seems to be wearing off. reb guard is trying to get me to learn about the 12 steps - but as much as i listen, i just cant seem to get it.i see the wisdom in SOME of the steps, but not all of them. maybe someone has some ideas?

From what I understand, there is a "torah shebeal peh" to it, and you can't really "understand it". You have to "DO it".

Lehavdil, I don't think someone who has not experienced a Shabbos can really understand it by expalanation. It has to be experienced.

The 12 steps is not about understanding at all. Just follow directions, and see what happens.

That is my "understanding", admittedly as an outsider. I did the 12 step phone call with dov, but that, and reading some posts here is my only experience with the 12 steps.

maybe my reluctance to hand my will over to another power is telling me something about myself.hmm....maybe i'm afraid to give myself up.maybe i'm afraid i'll lose myself.maybe i'm actually terrified of this.my guiding force in life has been fear, fear of the unknown.and i've already lived this way for > 55 years.this fear is really a step 4 concept - i think.but it's REAL and it's terrifying.

Handing your life over to a higher power is actually freeing. But you can't understand it until you do it.

What have you got to lose?

'what have u go tot lose?'


myself.

i just want to let you know that i'm not giving up.but i will need help in this.
you know r' twerski shlita would go to meetings to get answers, instead of going to experts.and HE was an expert himself!

"would go?" "was?"
Rumor is, he STILL goes. And he definitely is still an expert himself.

Hatzlocha, R' jack.

if i can get over this fear, it will be one of the most important things that will have ever happened to me.one of these things was finding GYE - it happened thru a miracle. I've had many other miracles happen to me in my life.i need another one.

I believe Rabbi Twersky said that he still attended for character development. If that's true, then maybe we can focus on that (something to do), instead of on avoiding porn (something not to do).

I'm getting back to my erev-Shabbat prep...but GYE has such an amazing bunch of people, I don't want to leave!

Best to all.

i agree - the best people on the planet.but i've been to a few 12 step meetings and i must say most of the people at these meetings are very special people - they have suffering in common and they are bound together.

i wont post till tuesday as i dont have internet at home and i'm not getting it any time soon.
gutn shabbos to all
jack

Just wanna welcome you back
Tis been a while Jack
Lookin' forward to the 12 steps
or maybe instead, you'll try the tips from Skep's

Either way; power to you!

Good shabbos

jack wrote:
Maybe you will FIND yourself?

3,4 years agojack wrote:


looks like you were able to get over the fear of 'the new me' and actually quite looked forward to it
did it before, you can do it again!