How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?


*()&*%&* leave me alone. The light bulb is fine the way it is. But your constant complaining about he dark has made me want to drink.


How many codependents does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but they need a really good support group. And it is probably best to wait until the alocholic is passed out. In the morning they won't even remember that the light bulb was broken.


How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb?


Lightbulbs?..........far out.



And finally, how many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?


One, but..........


First they discuss it with their sponsor, who tells them to pray about it. They agonize about whether they need the serenity to accept the darkness or the courage to go live somewhere else with an unbroken light bulb and they go to extra meetings to deal with this. Finally they are given the wisdom to know that they must accept that the light bulb is broken in order to find the courage to put in a new unbroken light bulb. They share this at a meeting where one of the gurus suggests no new light bulbs for 90 days and that they only share about this with members of the same sex lest discussing the lights being out with a member of the opposite sex lead to lust issues.

They share about this at meetings for the next 90 days, after which on anniversary night they are asked how they did it?. Soon afterwords they start going to a new meeting which is more old time program where newcomers do not discuss changing light bulbs unitl thaey have ammassed some experience with changing light bulbs. After a year of listening to others who have acutally changed light bulbs in recovery they share that they feel like they are getting ready to do the footwork and someday soon hope to go to the store to buy a new light bulb. But when they finally do go to the store it is Sunday and the store is closed. They are granted the power not to drink about this, but they do get into a relationship on the way home from the store.

The relationship ends badly several minutes later because the other person does not want to be held hostage to a broken light bulb. Once more the recovering alcohoic does not drink. Instead they go to a meeting and share how in the old days before recovery they would have just waited till Monday and then robbed the first person coming out of the store with a new light bulb. However today they chose not to do this. They go home and there on their front porch is a brand new unbroken light bulb. Coincidence? I think not!

They go inside and change the light bulb. Only then do they realize that the rest of their family has been living by candlelight for quite some time. The codependent is not sure how they feel about this......... They put their family on their 8th step list, but decide that first they must make amends to themselves for mistreating their family. The kids go to Alateen but feel guilty that their situation was not as bad as the kids who can't remember getting beaten with broken light bulbs by their ex-mothers 14th boyfriend's 3rd cousin when they lived in a pothole in the sidewalk in front of a cardboard box on the wrong side of the tracks from the homeless shelter.

So anyway now the alcoholic is very grateful for the new illumination in their life whcih allows them to see everything so much more clearly. Then another light bulb breaks.

But this is okay and they do not drink. They now know intuitively how to handle situations that used to baffle them and so they go sit on the porch waiting for another light bulb to appear. But about now the sun has gotten old and erupts into a supernova. This is okay becasue our Higher Power doesn't give us more than we can handle so we are okay about the sun going nova and decide, just for today, not to try do anything about it. But you know how we do get annoyed about that time thing, and that is why we are proud of our patience here, not rushing out to change all the light bulbs the first thing when they get broken, but instead thinking that at least we can laugh at ourselves now and how it is kind of silly wanting a new light bulb when any day now the sun will explode and we will have all the light we need.

:slight bow and fist pounding chest smiley: