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Home of Gibbor120
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Home of Gibbor120 105460 Views

Re: Home of Gibbor120 26 Aug 2014 22:20 #238000

  • cordnoy
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gibbor120 wrote:
I am truly humbled to say that I have not masturbated or looked at pornography for 5 YEARS!

In a way I have a bigger challenge now. It's easy to get complacent. If I were to act out today, I have no doubt that I would fall further than before. That fear, the fear of going back to a place where I had no control. Where I did things I did not want to do, but could not stop. I don't want to ever go back there.

I need to remind myself of how terrible I felt, and how much I don't want to go back down that road.


Thank TeeZee; I got to read that amazin' post again, and especially these two paragraphs.

Sh'koyach Gadol!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 27 Aug 2014 22:43 #238103

  • gibbor120
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Thanks!

I was actually planning to post something on my thread (which I don't do too often any more). I saw a great quote from a navy seal. I can't find the exact quote right now, but he said they learn "to get comfortable being uncomfortable".

It is something we all need to do. When we get uncomfortable, we tend to use our "drug of choice". Although we should try not to get to the point of being "uncomfortable" (using variuous tools), it does inevitably happen from time to time, even for those with long streaks of sobriety. Sometimes all that is required is the ability to be "comfortable being uncomfortable". Yes, I feel an urge now, but I can live with that discomfort. It will fade as long as I don't "stoke the coals" by looking or fantasizing.

It is a simple idea, not always easy to do, but can be the difference between uncontrolled binging and righting the ship and truckin on after a (usually) short uncomfortable spell.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 27 Aug 2014 22:49 #238106

  • cordnoy
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Pleasure.

This was said today by someone else on a different thread; t'was regardin' perfection and expectation I think as well.

Thanks
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 28 Aug 2014 00:10 #238118

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Pidaini wrote:
...you have two choices 1) to be comfortably uncomfortable or 2) to uncomfortably comfortable...
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...





My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Home of Gibbor120 28 Aug 2014 04:08 #238140

  • Bigmoish
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Which is the right choice? I think I'm uncomfortably uncomfortable.
(The spelling of that word looks increasingly wrong every time I write it.)
FAQ's (Great for newcomers!!!)
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Home of Gibbor120 28 Aug 2014 07:40 #238151

  • cordnoy
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Bigmoish wrote:
Which is the right choice? I think I'm uncomfortably uncomfortable.


It is the first choice we strive for....somewhat.

To be comfortable although we are uncomfortable.
that means...things may bother us; life is not perfect; it does not live up to our expectations (who da hell gave anyone da right to expect anythin' around here? I'm not sure); nevertheless, we are comfortable in a state of uncomfortability.

However, if we are uncomfortably comfortable...that means we feel that we're uncomfortable, so we look for ways and methods to become comfortable, and perhaps even for some time, we reach that plateau of comfortability....nevertheless, we are uncomfortably (our methods and tools) comfortable.

Tough stuff
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 12 Sep 2014 00:03 #239412

  • gibbor120
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I've seen several posts recently that say that understanding, or reason, or just making a really good schedule and sticking to it, planning well, having a purpose etc. etc. will do the trick.

Knowledege and understanding was almost useless to me. I learned halachos, I learned mussar. It did not help. Our brains are quite a weak tool when dealing with the power of lust (and many other struggles/bad habbits as well).

Having a good schedule etc. can be a good framework and can make it easier to stay out of trouble, but every so often trouble comes knockin anyway. Bad mood, lonliness, feeling a bit under the weather, got insulted, saw something "accidentally", just for a second, was left with unfiltered internet and just wanted to see a news story, watch a video to relax, etc. etc. When it comes knocking and we open the door, it's like letting in the cat in the hat. No telling what will happen next, but it aint good.

I tried all that stuff for years and I just kept getting worse. Until I admitted I had a problem and opened up about it to real people. Realized I can't do it on my own. I need help. Willpower and/or knowledge cannot save me.

Here are some healthy attitudes that have helped help me.
- Let go of my "right" to lust. I can't afford it.
- Let go of my self-pity.
- Let go of my expectations.
- Let go of resentment.
- Don't try to "figure it out". I don't need to understand (read: control) everything.
- Realize that I am not in control of my life (B"H, there is Some ONE much better at it, and HE loves and cares about me unconditionally)
- Stay out of isolation. Connect to people (especially when feeling vulnerable).
- Humbly give to others (without expectation of reciprocation).
- Get of my 18 wheeler and onto a trycycle. Let go of my lofty expectations and accept my reality.
- Live in reality and not fantasy.
- Do NOT let a fantasy live in my head. Let go immediately. can't afford it.
- Be happy and humble.
- I will not die from a lust attack. Let it pass. I can be comfortable being uncomfortable.
- Be busy, especially if it involves being social.
- Excercise

Just some stuff that came to my mind, and I felt like putting it out there.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 24 Sep 2014 20:21 #240343

  • gibbor120
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I wish everyone a k'siva v'chasima tova!

Re: Home of Gibbor120 30 Sep 2014 01:45 #240519

  • neshamaincharge
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gibbor120 wrote:
I've seen several posts recently that say that understanding, or reason, or just making a really good schedule and sticking to it, planning well, having a purpose etc. etc. will do the trick.

Knowledege and understanding was almost useless to me. I learned halachos, I learned mussar. It did not help. Our brains are quite a weak tool when dealing with the power of lust (and many other struggles/bad habbits as well).

Having a good schedule etc. can be a good framework and can make it easier to stay out of trouble, but every so often trouble comes knockin anyway. Bad mood, lonliness, feeling a bit under the weather, got insulted, saw something "accidentally", just for a second, was left with unfiltered internet and just wanted to see a news story, watch a video to relax, etc. etc. When it comes knocking and we open the door, it's like letting in the cat in the hat. No telling what will happen next, but it aint good.

I tried all that stuff for years and I just kept getting worse. Until I admitted I had a problem and opened up about it to real people. Realized I can't do it on my own. I need help. Willpower and/or knowledge cannot save me.

Here are some healthy attitudes that have helped help me.
- Let go of my "right" to lust. I can't afford it.
- Let go of my self-pity.
- Let go of my expectations.
- Let go of resentment.
- Don't try to "figure it out". I don't need to understand (read: control) everything.
- Realize that I am not in control of my life (B"H, there is Some ONE much better at it, and HE loves and cares about me unconditionally)
- Stay out of isolation. Connect to people (especially when feeling vulnerable).
- Humbly give to others (without expectation of reciprocation).
- Get of my 18 wheeler and onto a trycycle. Let go of my lofty expectations and accept my reality.
- Live in reality and not fantasy.
- Do NOT let a fantasy live in my head. Let go immediately. can't afford it.
- Be happy and humble.
- I will not die from a lust attack. Let it pass. I can be comfortable being uncomfortable.
- Be busy, especially if it involves being social.
- Excercise

Just some stuff that came to my mind, and I felt like putting it out there.


Awesome stuff!
I need to keep this list before me always!
Gibbor, you have been more helpful than you can ever imagine!
גמר חתימה טובה

Re: Home of Gibbor120 28 Nov 2014 23:58 #244283

  • gibbor120
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For anyone still left on GYE this late on Friday, and not out at the mall looking for bargains, IY"H, tomorrow, Shabbos Kodesh will be day 2,000 for me. (My sobriety date follows Kedusha's by about 3 weeks, so I always know when milestones are coming up). So, if you need an excuse to have an extra lechaim - you got it!

And if you read this on Sunday, please don't drink and drive .

Thank you all for being part of my recovery, and making me laugh quite a bit too!

Re: Home of Gibbor120 29 Nov 2014 01:42 #244294

  • unanumun
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mazel tov on the milestone may you be zoche until 43,800 days.

Re: Home of Gibbor120 29 Nov 2014 01:47 #244296

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Wowie! Mazel Tov!!!!

Don't crash the servers...
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...





My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Home of Gibbor120 29 Nov 2014 02:06 #244298

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mazel tov!
My two favorite Rebbe Nachman quotes:

The whole world is a narrow bridge; the main thing is to not be afraid.

If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

Re: Home of Gibbor120 30 Nov 2014 06:39 #244311

  • neshamaincharge
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Thanks for inspiring us all!

Re: Home of Gibbor120 30 Nov 2014 07:51 #244318

  • belmont4175
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Mazel Tov!

Although I'm quite new here, its an inspiration to know that yes IT IS POSSIBLE to reach sobriety if only...........

May you be Zoche to many more great accomplishments in life.

BeHatzlacha
הסיבה שיש דברים קשים העוברים עליך היא בגלל שהאדם חושב כי "אני עומד" שהוא מנהל הכל,
ברגע שיתן הכנעה כי השי"ת מנהיג הכל אז כבר אפשר להתמודד עם הקשיים. שמעתי מאדם גדול

If life is a LEMON make LEMONADE

Thank You Hashem for every moment of Sobriety!
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