tzitzis dude wrote on 03 Mar 2025 17:16:

I had off from work today and was driving my wife to her work. Thinking about the post above, I muttered to myself, “the things I do for The Grouchery”.
My wife overhears this and says, “what, you’re driving me just to get material for The Grouchery? Gee thanks!”

 Y’all are welcome.

tzitzis dude wrote on 03 Mar 2025 20:47:

This story is the perfect example of where The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled TM went south............. 
Sounds inoccent enough, but underlying is a just a sweet story of a husband driving around his wife and his wife lovingly teases him...........
Im sorry, this is waaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too sweet for The Grouchery. 
Zero Tolerance from now on!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys, let’s get pumped!! 
#NO_MORE_EXCUSES!!!!!

tzitzis dude wrote on 09 Mar 2025 00:46:

Well, Dedi was a Graucher. So there.

This is not a grouch. But I had a grouch validated in such a satisfying way yesterday.
As you probably do not remember, I grouched somewhere around here about the "Hashem needs every Yid" bumper stickers. I think that was a pretty solid grouch - an expression of being deeply bothered about something petty and pointless but genuinely wrong.

So there I was last night on Linkedin (forgive me for announcing my sins in public). I was there for a genuine business purpose, but I happened to see the top post on the feed. 

Keep in mind, I find frum Linkedin to be tremendously entertaining. It's a beautiful combination of hustlers selling to other hustlers, frum people entranced by the only social media access they have, weird boasting, thirsting for likes etc. etc. I love it.

So this post I spotted was by someone who appears to be a graphic designer for OOoorah, and I guess she made this bumper sticker that I hate. The post said something like, "What would you do if your work caused a controversy." And she posted what looked like a letter to the Voice grouching about the bumper sticker. 

Let that sink in. My grouch was validated by a grouchy letter in the Voice posted on Linkedin. I don't think it gets more petty and grumpy than that. 

She also had a picture of someone who cut the bumper sticker in half and put the top over the bottom. So it read "Every Yid needs Hashem." I vote for that guy to be the new Head of Grouching.

And yes, the comments were exactly as entertaining as you would expect.

#TYH

chosemyshem wrote on 10 Mar 2025 14:53:

I noticed how “Grouchlord” wasn’t named. That cowardice alone should be enough to have you booted. 
Lucky for you that your original Grouch was מוסיף והולך. 

Taanis Esther. Love to fast! 

Megillah. Love to listen to it while starving, gragers and firecrackers blasting in my ears!

Purim. Love to run around town to 87 different stops in deadlocked traffic, kids bouncing around in the back, baby hollering and toddlers tantruming about who gets which candies/prizes

Purim. Love to meet all the Rebbis' and teachers, smile and dance cheerily with a plastic smile, act like I actually have an ounce of patience. 

Purim. Love to merrily throw singles at everybody, including the 147 kids by Mincha, "kol haposhet yad, nos'nin lo"! 

Purim. Love to show up after all the above at the Shviggers Purim Suedah, paste a fake smile on my face and act like I am full of happiness and joy as my dorky brother's in law arrive way after me, all tipsy and huggy, while I am sober as a doorknob because wife hates when I drink.

Ah, the joys of Purim! 

youknowwho wrote on 12 Mar 2025 21:30:

Bah! Humbug!

Bro, I'm as Grinchy as the next guy, but even I think this is taking it a little far. 

Forget the shalach manos, forget the kids rebbeim, daven mincha at home, and get plaaaaaaaaaaastered.

Or don't. 

Point is, all these things are a chelek of the simcha. If all these things are detracting from the simcha then your options are either to drop these things or figure out how to do them b'simcha. 

Abide.
There is one special grouch this year though. You know that feeling of rolling into kabbalas shabbos half-drunk and uncomfortable and the place is packed with drunk guys doing a bizarre Carlebach thing. And you just want to go home, eat two bites of challah and pass out?

I hate that feeling. 

chosemyshem wrote on 13 Mar 2025 14:44:

(*Chuckling knowingly*)

Aha! Clearly, you must live somewhere between Nauru and Burma. 

In my part of the planet, we all do things (even though they detract from simcha, rationality or common sense) and we also never figure out how to do said absurd things b'simcha. 

I think it's called getting "Double Screwed" or something like that?

Or how about getting roped into laining the megilla for your wife’s sister’s under the guise and pretense of oh it’s a family party tradition that we started 5 years ago that half the family isn’t even invited to. When you were simply hoping to enjoy not having to lain the megilla at night because heck laining even if you’re not prepared is still very tiring

My wife’s been sick most of the week. The shvigger informed us that we have no choice- cleaning lady’s coming on Taanis Esther. Shoyn. 
My wife is still sick. Flu, cold, monthly stuff, combo? Either way she broke her fast. She was still bombed. She went to take a nap, leaving me to deal with the house. Which includes, of course, the cleaning lady. Shoyn. 
When the cleaning lady usually walks in, she gives a sigh. This time, that sigh was preceded by a fit of laughter, just at how messy the house is. 
Now I’m on the couch because I’m bombed and too manly to break my fast because of a dumb headache (that I only have because I couldn’t find my Excedrin). 
#PartyTonight.

youknowwho wrote on 13 Mar 2025 17:18:

WHAT?!?!? YOU MOVED BACK?!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY GOODBYE BEFORE YOU LEFT?

tzitzis dude wrote on 13 Mar 2025 18:30:

Oh, and I also gotta do my son’s homework with him.