Hey guys,

Im new to all of this material, emails, forums, handbooks etc. I was introduced to the site at the annual seminar in Jerusalem that GYE has. I now am struggling to understand whether I am an addict, or if I need to be attending SA meetings that deal with the 12 steps that help overcome the lust and need to act out. I know it can be an addiction, but do I need to be going to regular meetings, following the Big book, really being active with a sponsor and so on..

Can't I just read chizzuk emails, really start guarding my eyes, post and read regularly on this site, and just educate myself with all the material there is to read and watch on this site and the handbooks it offers as well?

Please advise with what worked for YOU, what others who have been sober for years have said, and what really is the best proven way for someone who may be on the fence of the addiction.

Thanks!

There is a test that can determine whether you are a sex addict. Hopefully some nice guy will chime in and direct you to that material.

But on a simpler level, you can start with the GYE handbook. It is built on the philosophy that there are different levels of severity regarding lust problems. You can start at level one (i.e. try it for some time), and if it does not work for you, move on to level two, etc. This way you'll see whether you reach the level that requires full SA participation.

Hatzlacha

MT

I think the practical approach works best. There are differnet approaches for different people. Like MT said, start small. If what you are doing is working - leave it alone. If it isn't, you know that you need something different.

To find out if you're a sex addict go to slaafws.org and take the test. If you want a more thorough assessment with worksheets and result explanation of the 10 types of sex addiction you can email me at ajk@allanjkatz.com.

Some therapists I know will not even counsel a person unless he agrees to attend meetings. It is essential BECAUSE this is a disease of isolation and at the same time a need for connection. According to Carl Jung, who the AA founders consulted with, the way to heal is to tell your story in front a group of non-judgmental people who will validate you and not abuse you. Many of us grow up in families where we don't have a voice so we stuff our emotions and never let them out. This is a safe place to let it out and work on perfecting your character traits.

Thanks all for your replies. I have since my post attended few meetings. One was an actual SA meeting. I feel I am not an addict for several reasons, but have a need for lust and women as every guy does. I feel with your motivation, constant readings of the site and its emails, and just putting it into practice I stand a chance...

Let me know your thoughts on what material I should start reading if I have already worked half way through the GYE initial handbook.

Thanks,
Shefflover87

How about Dov "Quotes"? That should take you a while . You can find it in my signature.

I strongly urge you to join a 12 step call.
It will change your life - not just your need to lust
and btw "have a need for lust and women as every guy does." that you said, will also change if you REALLY do the steps properly.
p.s. You should feel lucky ( as nuts as this may sound - trust me, I {was} the furthest from saying this) for finding GYE and having the opportunity to come closer to hashe-m, CAUSE THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!!!!

Don't fool yourself - cause you'll regret it after 120.

I am an addict.

I don't go to meetings, don't call the conferences.

Different things work for different people.

Some find that the 12 Step program works miracles for them.

I don't like the whole feel of it, and my approach works for the most part for me.

Like Gibbor said, find what works for you and stick to it. If it's not working, look for something more.

shefflover87

Welcome, New Members!

Ditto to Gibbor and Skep.

I dabbled in phone conferences, heavy poster, went to therapists, opened up to chaveirim, called and texted each other....
was on a good mehalech... (210 days, and counting...well...not really counting, but the numbers are there).

still am....

however, my last fall (a trifecta) really shook me up....

So, on the advice of others, I'm gonna take it to the next level....gonna go to an sa meeting....I'll keep you posted.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


Why, did your tank have a flat tire?

When you need a boost is also a good time to call chaveirim.

MT

shefflover87 wrote:


Curious as to how it worked out for you- are you still around these parts?