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SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY?
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This is a board for all the important threads that we don't want to get lost among the others :-)
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TOPIC: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 2360 Views

SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 25 Dec 2013 23:05 #225595

  • shefflover87
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Hey guys,

Im new to all of this material, emails, forums, handbooks etc. I was introduced to the site at the annual seminar in Jerusalem that GYE has. I now am struggling to understand whether I am an addict, or if I need to be attending SA meetings that deal with the 12 steps that help overcome the lust and need to act out. I know it can be an addiction, but do I need to be going to regular meetings, following the Big book, really being active with a sponsor and so on..

Can't I just read chizzuk emails, really start guarding my eyes, post and read regularly on this site, and just educate myself with all the material there is to read and watch on this site and the handbooks it offers as well?

Please advise with what worked for YOU, what others who have been sober for years have said, and what really is the best proven way for someone who may be on the fence of the addiction.

Thanks!

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 26 Dec 2013 00:37 #225603

There is a test that can determine whether you are a sex addict. Hopefully some nice guy will chime in and direct you to that material.

But on a simpler level, you can start with the GYE handbook. It is built on the philosophy that there are different levels of severity regarding lust problems. You can start at level one (i.e. try it for some time), and if it does not work for you, move on to level two, etc. This way you'll see whether you reach the level that requires full SA participation.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 26 Dec 2013 01:25 #225607

  • gibbor120
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I think the practical approach works best. There are differnet approaches for different people. Like MT said, start small. If what you are doing is working - leave it alone. If it isn't, you know that you need something different.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 26 Dec 2013 08:13 #225633

  • Elya K
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To find out if you're a sex addict go to slaafws.org and take the test. If you want a more thorough assessment with worksheets and result explanation of the 10 types of sex addiction you can email me at ajk@allanjkatz.com.

Some therapists I know will not even counsel a person unless he agrees to attend meetings. It is essential BECAUSE this is a disease of isolation and at the same time a need for connection. According to Carl Jung, who the AA founders consulted with, the way to heal is to tell your story in front a group of non-judgmental people who will validate you and not abuse you. Many of us grow up in families where we don't have a voice so we stuff our emotions and never let them out. This is a safe place to let it out and work on perfecting your character traits.
Former moderator of the Jewish Healing Group phone conference and presently one of the GYE hotline moderators.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 30 Dec 2013 23:57 #225799

  • shefflover87
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Thanks all for your replies. I have since my post attended few meetings. One was an actual SA meeting. I feel I am not an addict for several reasons, but have a need for lust and women as every guy does. I feel with your motivation, constant readings of the site and its emails, and just putting it into practice I stand a chance...

Let me know your thoughts on what material I should start reading if I have already worked half way through the GYE initial handbook.

Thanks,
Shefflover87

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 31 Dec 2013 00:30 #225804

  • gibbor120
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How about Dov "Quotes"? That should take you a while . You can find it in my signature.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 14 Jan 2014 10:18 #226516

  • sayingHallel
I strongly urge you to join a 12 step call.
It will change your life - not just your need to lust
and btw "have a need for lust and women as every guy does." that you said, will also change if you REALLY do the steps properly.
p.s. You should feel lucky ( as nuts as this may sound - trust me, I {was} the furthest from saying this) for finding GYE and having the opportunity to come closer to hashe-m, CAUSE THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!!!!

Don't fool yourself - cause you'll regret it after 120.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 17 Jan 2014 08:45 #226631

  • skeptical
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I am an addict.

I don't go to meetings, don't call the conferences.

Different things work for different people.

Some find that the 12 Step program works miracles for them.

I don't like the whole feel of it, and my approach works for the most part for me.

Like Gibbor said, find what works for you and stick to it. If it's not working, look for something more.

shefflover87
Let me know your thoughts on what material I should start reading if I have already worked half way through the GYE initial handbook.

Welcome, New Members!
Last Edit: 17 Jan 2014 08:47 by skeptical.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 17 Jan 2014 20:11 #226648

  • cordnoy
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Ditto to Gibbor and Skep.

I dabbled in phone conferences, heavy poster, went to therapists, opened up to chaveirim, called and texted each other....
was on a good mehalech... (210 days, and counting...well...not really counting, but the numbers are there).

still am....

however, my last fall (a trifecta) really shook me up....

So, on the advice of others, I'm gonna take it to the next level....gonna go to an sa meeting....I'll keep you posted.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 17 Jan 2014 20:16 #226649

  • tryingtoshteig
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cordnoy wrote:
opened up to chaveirim,


Why, did your tank have a flat tire?
"ויעזור ויגן ויושיע לכל החוסים בו ונאמר אמן" -- ArtScroll Gabbai's Handbook

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 17 Jan 2014 20:24 #226650

When you need a boost is also a good time to call chaveirim.

MT

Re: SA MEETINGS? ARE THEY NECCESARY? 20 Oct 2014 06:35 #241480

  • neshamaincharge
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shefflover87 wrote:
Thanks all for your replies. I have since my post attended few meetings. One was an actual SA meeting. I feel I am not an addict for several reasons, but have a need for lust and women as every guy does. I feel with your motivation, constant readings of the site and its emails, and just putting it into practice I stand a chance...

Let me know your thoughts on what material I should start reading if I have already worked half way through the GYE initial handbook.

Thanks,
Shefflover87


Curious as to how it worked out for you- are you still around these parts?
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