Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

disabling incognito mode

https://www.technipages.com/chrome-disable-incognito-mode

Chatevd wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:16:

Here is a page with instructions for some other browsers as well.

Note that you need to have admin rights on the computer do do this, and that anyone with admin rights can undo it. So if you want to protect yourself, you should give the password to the admin account to someone else and have them change it, and create yourself a non-admin account to use.

• iwillnevergiveup  writes:     The 3 most important tools that truly helped me was going on this forum, a 3 x daily regimen of inspiration Morning, afternoon, and night. And just getting back up after a fall.   see:   guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/344194-Making-it-happen?limit=15&start=30#345632

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 19:37:

Thanks for the referral. I forgot I even have that thread.
B"H I have spoken on the phone with a couple of people since then, and even met one once.

I need to get back into doing that, because that has helped me much more than any posting has.

Reminding myself of how important i am and how much myself and my action matters, to the people in my live and to hashem, gives me strength to go on in challenging times.

@pickamoniker wrote in another post:

In the spirit of sharing tips, one thing that has been invaluable for me over the past months is the knowledge that emotional pain is an inevitable and normal part of life. Every time my mind starts wondering down the road of lust I remind myself that whatever pain I am running from absolutely wont kill me and is nowhere near as bad as I imagine it to be.

Rav Avigdor Miller was asked: How does one fight the Yetzer Ha’rah?

A:
That’s a good question. The answer is “Barasi yetzer ha’rah, barasi Torah tavlin lo.” Learning. You have to learn Torah because only the Torah teaches you how to deal with the Yetzer Ha’rah.

Now there are two ways that this works. One way is bi’derech segulah. Merely learning – learning alone – is vitamins against the Yetzer Ha’rah. Hakodosh Boruch Hu sees that you’re learning and He says, “I’m going to protect you from the Yetzer Ha’rah.” Without any other logical explanation – it’s called “segulah.”

And the second way is “sechel.” Because the Torah is full of ideas and ideals that give you the right kinds of thoughts. When a person has no good thoughts in his mind – when his mind is vacant – a vacuum will not remain a vacuum forever and wrong ideas and bad thoughts will come into his head from the outside world. If you fill your mind with good ideas – with Torah ideas – and you’re thinking all the time about these right ideas – in the street, at home – then you won’t have time for or interest in the Yetzer Ha’rah. You walk in the street and think about Ma’amad Har Sinai. You sit at the bus stop waiting and you’re thinking about Yetzias Mitzraim. It takes work to learn how to do that but there is no option. You must fill your mind with good ideas. And then when the Yetzer Ha’rah comes knocking on your door, you’ll tell him, “No, I’m sorry. This place is occupied already.”

Parshas Vayeishev
The Battle of Life

“He (Yosef) refused (to sin with Potifar’s wife)” (39:8). “וַיְמָאֵ֓ן… (לט:ח).”

It is interesting to note the trop, reading note, found on this word “vayima’ain, he refused.” The cantillation mark is that of the shalsheles, שלש֓לת. This note is only found in four places in the entire Torah. Let us glean an interesting lesson hinted from this phenomenon.

Four Appearances
The four places are as follows:
1- In Parshas Vayera, ויתמהמה, Lot tarried when the angels were trying to evacuate
him from Sedom.
2- In Parshas Chayei Sarah, ויאמר, when Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, prayed for
Hashem to guide him in finding a wife for Yitzchok.
3- In this Parsha, וימאן, when Yosef refused to sin with his master’s wife.
4- In Parshas Tzav, וישחט, regarding the slaughtering of one of the sacrificial animals.
Common Chain
What is the common thread between these four occurrences of this unique trop, the shalsheles? The word shalsheles means “long chain.” It is read with a long thrice-repeating tune to connote consistency and continuance. It hints to the Yetzer Hara, the Evil Inclination. The Gemara in Berachos (61a) compares the Yetzer Hara to a pesky fly. He continually tries to get us to sin throughout our entire life. We rise to the challenge, but he always lurks waiting to get us again! This is his constant presence always trying to chain us down! Additionally, just as the shalsheles has three parts to it, so too the Gemara in Bava Basra (16a) tells us that the Yetzer Hara has three names.
Now we can plug this in to explain the story-line hinted by the tune’s four occurrences:
1-“And he said”- The Yetzer Hara speaks to us by planting a bad idea in our mind…
2-“And he refused!”- Our job is to cut off his words and not to listen…
3-“And he tarried”- If however, one hesitates and gives himself time to slip…
4-“He slaughtered” then the Yetzer Hara has you in his hands! You’re gone!

Lesson Learned
The lesson to learn from Yosef is how to fight and win. When we see that a course of action is correct and just, we should grab onto it and not delay to pursue that action. If however, a course of action is not correct, then we strive to stop immediately without hesitation! This is how successful people live their lives, no delays! This is a most fascinating point gleaned from a unique cantillation mark.

Here are 2 top recovery points that I heard today for someone that's clean for over a year... 

#1 hitting rock bottom - finally taking real responsibility - enough with the excuses and rationalizations

 #2 having a support system in place - gye chaver - phone calls, texting, posting etc. connetion is the opposite of addiction. also really helps when the going gets rough...

The key to beating any addiction is to remember that you want to break the addiction. Those two words are critical: “you want.” You can help yourself resist temptations by reminding yourself that stopping addictive behaviors is for you, and that you reallywant to stop.

Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work to try and break an addiction for someone else. You have to really really want it.

The second part is reminding yourself, especially in the heat of the moment, of what you really want. What you really want is to be clean, not to engage in the addictive behavior.

Visualization is another great tool you can use. Sit in a comfortable place. Take a deep breath, and close your eyes. Imagine yourself having the temptation. Really see yourself, feel the feelings, as if you really were having those temptations right now. Now see yourself withstanding the temptation, getting up, doing something else. Feel how wonderful it feels to be clean and victorious. Do those visualizations a few times a day—maybe every hour. You’ll be training your brain to derail your addiction.