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The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 1510 Views

The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 15:31 #345729

  • DavidT
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Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 16:55 #345732

  • cordnoy
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DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 17:16 #345734

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Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 17:27 #345735

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cordnoy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 16:55:

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

i think each one is a different level of getting out of the shadows ,posting and meeting with real people are worlds apart of getting out of the shadows,and every person should go to the next level of getting out of his comfort zone/the shadows,each one at his own pace.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2019 17:33 by sleepy.

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 17:52 #345736

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Chatevd wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:16:

Here is a page with instructions for some other browsers as well.

Note that you need to have admin rights on the computer do do this, and that anyone with admin rights can undo it. So if you want to protect yourself, you should give the password to the admin account to someone else and have them change it, and create yourself a non-admin account to use.
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...





My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 19:37 #345742

  • sleepy
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sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:27:

cordnoy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 16:55:

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

i think each one is a different level of getting out of the shadows ,posting and meeting with real people are worlds apart of getting out of the shadows,and every person should go to the next level of getting out of his comfort zone/the shadows,each one at his own pace.

there is even a thread called out of  the shadows where the  one who named it just posted ,and no one took any issue with it

.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/311190-MY-PATH-TO-SANITY#311200
click it and youll see what i mean.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 20:13 #345743

  • DavidT
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"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 22:19 #345745

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sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 19:37:

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:27:

cordnoy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 16:55:

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

i think each one is a different level of getting out of the shadows ,posting and meeting with real people are worlds apart of getting out of the shadows,and every person should go to the next level of getting out of his comfort zone/the shadows,each one at his own pace.

there is even a thread called out of  the shadows where the  one who named it just posted ,and no one took any issue with it

.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/311190-MY-PATH-TO-SANITY#311200
click it and youll see what i mean.

Thanks for the referral. I forgot I even have that thread.
B"H I have spoken on the phone with a couple of people since then, and even met one once.

I need to get back into doing that, because that has helped me much more than any posting has.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 04 Dec 2019 23:34 #345747

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lionking wrote on 04 Dec 2019 22:19:

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 19:37:

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:27:

cordnoy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 16:55:

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

i think each one is a different level of getting out of the shadows ,posting and meeting with real people are worlds apart of getting out of the shadows,and every person should go to the next level of getting out of his comfort zone/the shadows,each one at his own pace.

there is even a thread called out of  the shadows where the  one who named it just posted ,and no one took any issue with it

.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/311190-MY-PATH-TO-SANITY#311200
click it and youll see what i mean.

Thanks for the referral. I forgot I even have that thread.
B"H I have spoken on the phone with a couple of people since then, and even met one once.

I need to get back into doing that, because that has helped me much more than any posting has.

im happy that with time your level of getting out of the shadows(g.o.o.t.s.) is going from level to level , at the time of your posting you were holding by g.o.o.t.s. by posting and good for you because that was your pace ,HASHEM SHOULD GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH OF HEART AND COME ALL THE WAY OUT OF THE SHADOWS AND CONNECT TO REAL PEOPLE WHICH  YOU FEEL IS A BIG HELP IN RECOVERY LIKE YOU JUST WROTE !!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2019 23:44 by sleepy.

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 05 Dec 2019 00:57 #345750

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Reminding myself of how important i am and how much myself and my action matters, to the people in my live and to hashem, gives me strength to go on in challenging times.

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 05 Dec 2019 17:33 #345763

  • sleepy
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lionking wrote on 04 Dec 2019 22:19:

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 19:37:

sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:27:

cordnoy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 16:55:

DavidT wrote on 04 Dec 2019 15:31:
Hi All.
As there are so many good people here that are starving to be from the winners who finally got into the real recovery mode, I think if we would get some simple to follow top tips from the winners it would help a lot.

​So to start: my humble opinion is that the most effective tool is coming out of the shadows. Depending on how deep the issue is (addiction or just bad desires). It can mean going to meetings or just posting about it and talking to other people and having accountability partner(s). 

Please post what actually helped you and how others can put the same thing into practice. 

Thank you.

There is a huge difference between a meetin', talkin' to real people and to just post. One is gettin' out of the shadows, the other isn't.

Godspeed

i think each one is a different level of getting out of the shadows ,posting and meeting with real people are worlds apart of getting out of the shadows,and every person should go to the next level of getting out of his comfort zone/the shadows,each one at his own pace.

there is even a thread called out of  the shadows where the  one who named it just posted ,and no one took any issue with it

.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/311190-MY-PATH-TO-SANITY#311200
click it and youll see what i mean.

Thanks for the referral. I forgot I even have that thread.
B"H I have spoken on the phone with a couple of people since then, and even met one once.

I need to get back into doing that, because that has helped me much more than any posting has.

so whats holding you back ? if you see that it really helped ,GO FOR IT  !
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 10 Dec 2019 18:08 #345879

  • DavidT
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@pickamoniker wrote in another post:

In the spirit of sharing tips, one thing that has been invaluable for me over the past months is the knowledge that emotional pain is an inevitable and normal part of life. Every time my mind starts wondering down the road of lust I remind myself that whatever pain I am running from absolutely wont kill me and is nowhere near as bad as I imagine it to be.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 12 Dec 2019 17:42 #345923

  • DavidT
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Rav Avigdor Miller was asked: How does one fight the Yetzer Ha’rah?

A:
That’s a good question. The answer is “Barasi yetzer ha’rah, barasi Torah tavlin lo.” Learning. You have to learn Torah because only the Torah teaches you how to deal with the Yetzer Ha’rah.

Now there are two ways that this works. One way is bi’derech segulah. Merely learning – learning alone – is vitamins against the Yetzer Ha’rah. Hakodosh Boruch Hu sees that you’re learning and He says, “I’m going to protect you from the Yetzer Ha’rah.” Without any other logical explanation – it’s called “segulah.

And the second way is “sechel.” Because the Torah is full of ideas and ideals that give you the right kinds of thoughts. When a person has no good thoughts in his mind – when his mind is vacant – a vacuum will not remain a vacuum forever and wrong ideas and bad thoughts will come into his head from the outside world. If you fill your mind with good ideas – with Torah ideas – and you’re thinking all the time about these right ideas – in the street, at home – then you won’t have time for or interest in the Yetzer Ha’rah. You walk in the street and think about Ma’amad Har Sinai. You sit at the bus stop waiting and you’re thinking about Yetzias Mitzraim. It takes work to learn how to do that but there is no option. You must fill your mind with good ideas. And then when the Yetzer Ha’rah comes knocking on your door, you’ll tell him, “No, I’m sorry. This place is occupied already.”

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 15 Dec 2019 16:44 #345964

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Parshas Vayeishev
The Battle of Life

“He (Yosef) refused (to sin with Potifar’s wife)” (39:8). “וַיְמָאֵ֓ן… (לט:ח).”

It is interesting to note the trop, reading note, found on this word “vayima’ain, he refused.” The cantillation mark is that of the shalsheles, שלש֓לת. This note is only found in four places in the entire Torah. Let us glean an interesting lesson hinted from this phenomenon.

Four Appearances
The four places are as follows:
1- In Parshas Vayera, ויתמהמה, Lot tarried when the angels were trying to evacuate
him from Sedom.
2- In Parshas Chayei Sarah, ויאמר, when Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, prayed for
Hashem to guide him in finding a wife for Yitzchok.
3- In this Parsha, וימאן, when Yosef refused to sin with his master’s wife.
4- In Parshas Tzav, וישחט, regarding the slaughtering of one of the sacrificial animals.
Common Chain
What is the common thread between these four occurrences of this unique trop, the shalsheles? The word shalsheles means “long chain.” It is read with a long thrice-repeating tune to connote consistency and continuance. It hints to the Yetzer Hara, the Evil Inclination. The Gemara in Berachos (61a) compares the Yetzer Hara to a pesky fly. He continually tries to get us to sin throughout our entire life. We rise to the challenge, but he always lurks waiting to get us again! This is his constant presence always trying to chain us down! Additionally, just as the shalsheles has three parts to it, so too the Gemara in Bava Basra (16a) tells us that the Yetzer Hara has three names.
Now we can plug this in to explain the story-line hinted by the tune’s four occurrences:
1-“And he said”- The Yetzer Hara speaks to us by planting a bad idea in our mind…
2-“And he refused!”- Our job is to cut off his words and not to listen…
3-“And he tarried”- If however, one hesitates and gives himself time to slip…
4-“He slaughtered” then the Yetzer Hara has you in his hands! You’re gone!

Lesson Learned
The lesson to learn from Yosef is how to fight and win. When we see that a course of action is correct and just, we should grab onto it and not delay to pursue that action. If however, a course of action is not correct, then we strive to stop immediately without hesitation! This is how successful people live their lives, no delays! This is a most fascinating point gleaned from a unique cantillation mark.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: The #1 thing that helped you win a clean recovery 22 Dec 2019 19:44 #346154

  • DavidT
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Here are 2 top recovery points that I heard today for someone that's clean for over a year... 

#1 hitting rock bottom - finally taking real responsibility - enough with the excuses and rationalizations

 #2 having a support system in place - gye chaver - phone calls, texting, posting etc. connetion is the opposite of addiction. also really helps when the going gets rough...
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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