Trouble wrote on 03 Jan 2018 00:47:

Trouble's story is my story too.
But then a miracle happened and I found out that I was the problem.

Trouble wrote on 03 Jan 2018 00:47:

i used to try to have sholom bayis so i can masturbate (read: sex with wife)

tzomah wrote on 03 Jan 2018 11:30:

If I understand this correctly, this is great. Sorta reminds me of an old thread, which could have been titled: "How to get more sex from one's wife when she's not quite in the mood."

yup
or how about how to get more sex (masturbate) when she is in the mood
or plain ol' how to just make her damnit in the mood

I once heard of an instance where a Rabbi was critical of people who masturbate when their wife refuses to have sex.
One man's argument to the Rabbi was that it calmed him down and stopped him from having an affair because he was often away on business and alone in hotel rooms and vulnerable.
The Rabbi told him that he would lose some of his stored up feelings for his wife, and so when they finally did have sex the wife would notice the man was not as passionate as he should be.

I am single, so I merely repeat what I heard, without me having had to live in a sometimes tricky home environment.

My equivalent could be is it better to masturbate than to visit a prostitute...at least I save time and money and do not risk getting a sexually transmitted disease?

Not claiming it is easy to achieve this, but overall it is best to not masturbate or visit the prostitute and to do something kedusha instead.
If it was easy to think calmly when sexually frustrated or emotionally upset, then many of us would not need to be on this forum.

Hi Colin. Whats a worse formula to die,  to tie your neck to the shower, or to throw yourself down a building. Well in your instance it is both dying. Both kills the person. Needing to act upon Lust kills a person to death. it kills the spirit of the person.