Perhaps to post all about my own journey is somewhat narcissistic or self obsessed but I don’t know what to do anymore. I need to post and if it is a bit self obsessed it’s because I am I have no day or night that I’m not chased by my demons. So I am self obsessed about fighting or doing masturbation one way or another. I need HELP not chizuk not kind words although I do appreciate it. I need someone who is a veteran who is smart who can answer my questions who is willing to take under their wing. I am broken and I need to fix myself. Now I see I’m not sure I can do it myself so please someone, smart who’s a veteran of this system please help. If you live in Lakewood and are willing to talk in the phone even better. It’s hard for me to take this first step parts of me don’t want to and is worried about my anonymity but I need to do this. If you got until here thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Any chizuk is welcome thank you all 

naftoly18 wrote on 18 Mar 2025 11:20:

Shalom Brother,

Sorry to hear you are in a tough spot, but glad you feel a push to fight.
Help will always be given at GYE to those who ask for it.

Perhaps reach out to user HashemHelpMe (HHM) at michelgelner@gmail.com

There are some amazing folks in Lakewood and I'll let them introduce themselves.

Hatzlacha Rabbah

I don't know that I fit the description of what you are looking for, but happy to be in touch and help in any way that I can.
BenHashemBH@gmail.com

Welcome to the warmest family in the world!

Here you will find true care, concern, and warmth.
Here you will learn that you CAN break free!
As has been mentioned, there are many tools here to help you in this fight. Some of them you may be familiar with, some may be new.
There is the F2F Program, the Vaad Program (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is), and the book The Battle of the Generation - many have found this very helpful in reframin' the struggle, as you mentioned.
Posting is a great way to connect, learn, and grow also. 
(The Hall of Fame Thread is a great compilation of some the great threads on GYE.)

There is also an extremely powerful tool of accountability, friends, and mentors, as has been mentioned, that has helped hundreds - myself included.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim - minhamayim1@gmail.com amevakesh - amevakesh23@gmail.com

Keep postin', you'll see, the oilam is here for you.

Lookin' forward to seeing great things from you!
And don't forget, as always, KOMT!!

Its amazing that your reaching out to get help, that answers your question that you really do want it.
Reach out to one of the mentors on proudyungermans post and they'll lead you to someone who can shtim with you.
Tons of Hatzlacha

that took a lot of strength and courage to do what you just did. Amazing!!

Mad respect, I really feel the rawness of your post and I just know it took a tremendous amount of strength to even decide to write it. You clearly are determined and you WILL be successful. If it's not too much to ask, I highly encourage pushing yourself to write a bit more about your situation. It will help clarify your own thoughts and take a step back so you can approach this confidently. It will also help others who identify stongly with your situation (and there ARE people on here who do, whatever it may be) find you. We're rooting for you hard my brother.

Oy, your pain is so great, I'm so sorry
My dear friend, the fact that you are willing to connect to someone, that has the potential to really change things around in your life.
Stick around here, this is the most amazing place, we care about you, we want to hear from you, and we are here to help in any way we can
My friend, there is a bright future possible! If you want to, feel free to reach out to me at the email in my signature